Just Another Dalton Boy
by x-Meiko-Rose-x
Summary: Collaboration with Chelsinator, taken from an tumblr RP we do. We all know about Kurt and Blaine's story, but how about Nick and Jeff's? Follow our boys through the ups and downs, fluff and smut of their lives.
1. Chapter 1

**AN/ Hey guys, Meiko here... This is all from a tumblr RP we have, we have a ton of it and hoped you like it :) Just a warning this is a mature story and does include adult themes that might be triggering. Let us know if you want more, because we have plenty of it saved - enjoy!**

**As always we do not own Glee, the character of Nick or Jeff. We don't own Curt Mega or Riker Lynch... obviously. **

Nick breathed in and picked up his phone. He heard Jeff answer but he didn't know what he should say. Would it sound like his feelings are pushing through? He pushed his eyes shut and whispered, "Hey there, Jeff"

Glancing nervously back at the glass door behind him, Jeff felt himself instantly relax as he heard his best friends voice, he checked his older brother was asleep one more time before he answered, "Alright Nicky, what's going on?"

Nick thought silently to himself. Jeff really wanted to know. Maybe He could think of a lie. He swallowed," I-I… I am doubting Sebastian likes me" He breathed out, he wouldn't have to talk about his feelings for a certain someone.

Jeff nodded to himself and closed his eyes as he desperately trying to push down the wave of unexplained bitterness, "I was surprised. I got the impression he was into Blaine and you've never really mentioned Seb before, how did it even happen?"

"I don't know. I mean, Kurt is… a tough cookie," Nick bit back a laugh," I guess he was over the fight. We saw the two of them the other day and, well I guess old feelings never die." Nick cursed at himself. That was exactly what was happening to him. Old repressed feelings for Jeff were making a special appearance.

"Huh… I guess that makes sense." The blonde thought long and hard about whether he should respond how he wanted to, "Are you sure Seb's the kind of guy you want though, Nicky? He's fun and all, but he's a bit of a manwhore by all accounts? And if you're already worrying…" There, that wasn't to bad was it? He was just concerned for his best friend. Simple.

Nick didn't know what to say. Of course, he was making up that Sebastian might not like him. But hearing this had now made it true. He tried to suppress his tears, shut his eyes and breathed in. unfortunately there was a small hiccup in his breath. "I-I….."

"You what, Nicky?" Jeff knew he sounded annoyed but he couldn't help it, it was half one in the fucking morning… not that he was sleeping anyway, he listened for a minute and took in the slight ragged breathing on the other end of the phone, was Nick -? "Are you _crying_?" Nick _never_ cried, in all of the years they'd been best friends Jeff could count the amount of times Nick had cried on one hand, "Oh, Nicky. He isn't worth it. You…" He took a deep breath, "You don't deserve to feel this shit over some guy, you know?"

Nick cried a little harder. At first, it almost sounded as if Jeff was angry with him. He certainly didn't want that. He dropped to his knees and cuddled himself a little. "I really like him though." He replied through broken sobs. That was a big lie.

Jeff felt something in him break, though he was damned if he knew what. He glanced behind him again and took in his older brothers sprawled out form, then he turned his attention back to the phone and began speaking in a low urgent voice, "I know, Nicky, I know. Breathe okay? Do you…" He worried his bottom lip between his teeth, he had no idea how he was going to pull this off, "Do you need me to come over there?"

If Jeff could have seen Nick's face it would have gone from depressed and unknowing to a mixture of happiness and worry. "Yes. I want you to come over, but I certainly don't want you to get in trouble," he replied. His voice was stern. Tears were still forming in his eyes but he couldn't be selfish and want Jeff, knowing how easily pissed his father gets. "I just need to…. I should probably…. Uh! I don't know anymore Jeff." He choked out another sobs which was unfortunately a bit loud. Jeff would have no doubt heard. He punched himself. Why is he so fucking weak.

Jeff screwed up his eyes and rubbed furiously at them with one hand, if he could just get past Jake… Devon's room was a floor up so he didn't have to worry about his little brother. His dad would be in the living room watching TV and drinking scotch. Even if he could sneak past him, he wasn't sure how he'd get back in later. But Nick was _crying._"Look, don't worry about me. I'll deal with it tomorrow. I'm on my way, Nicky. Stay on the phone."

Nick started to panic. He hated getting Jeff in trouble because, when he thought about it, he was always the cause. "Jeff. No please. I'll be fine." he said, but he knew he had no hope. Why did Jeff have to be so fucking persistent now! If he put this much effort in Geography, he'd be able to walk Africa and plan exactly what day he would arrive. "Nick," he whispered to himself ,"You are a shit friend"

Jeff heard Nick arguing over the phone, and he almost listened to him… but the broken tone of his normally strong friend stopped him. Jeff was used to Nick comforting him, it was his turn. He edged back into the bedroom and crept around Jake's bed, closing their bedroom door quietly behind him he headed down the stairs, avoiding those he knew creaked. A quick glance into the living room told him that he'd been exactly right about his father, but his back was to him and luck was on his side. Seconds later he was inside his car, shoulders slumping in relief. "Alright Nicky, I'm on my way. Twenty minutes tops, ten if I drive fast."

Nick didn't reply. He helped himself up and walked to his computer. It was beeping a while ago but he didn't bother. He had a message.

_**Sebby3: Hey babe. Don't know about our date. Blaine wants to catch up. Luvya**_

Reading this, Nick's tears started again. "You shouldn't do this Jeff. I am in a pathetic state. I hate myself for it! You should be at home, asleep." Nick wiped a tear. He definitely hated how pathetic and weak he was, he hates himself for crying. _"Nick"_ he said to himself again, _"Crying wont make anything better. harden the fuck up"_ he cursed at himself, he was talking to himself. Maybe he was going crazy.

Jeff held his phone to his ear as he drove as fast as he could to Nick's house. Realistically he knew he should hang up or at least slow down, but that wasn't happening any time soon. He heard his friends sobs pick up again and listened as Nick started to talk to him again, "I know I should, Nicky. But so should you and we both know that isn't going to happen. Now shut up and unlock your window, I'm nearly there." Jeff had never been more glad that his friend lived on the bottom floor, he didn't fancy scaling a wall.

Nick choked out a laugh. It's not like his parents would care if he used the front door, but he did as he was told. On the way to the window, he saw himself in the mirror. It was a shameful site. Red eyes and wet cheeks. "…all ready…." he whispered through the phone. He went back to his bed and brought his knees to his face. Hugging them tightly.

Jeff nodded to himself as he pulled up outside Nick's house. He loved this house, had always felt more at home here than he ever had at his own. Heading round to the side he murmured, "Here. Hanging up now." and pulled himself up through the small window - attempting to hide a wince as he pressed on a bruise that he'd rather Nick not know about - he took in his best friend, who honestly did look a state and something in his chest ached. He held out his arms, slightly awkwardly, "Come here, Nicky."

Nick fell into Jeff's arms. It all felt so right. He dug his head into the taller boys shoulder and cried some more. He felt safer then he ever could with Jeff around. He didn't hug for long, he didn't want Jeff to feel awkward. "S-sorry…"

Jeff involuntarily tightened his arms around the smaller - yet slightly older - boy, and pressed his lips to the soft dark hair without thinking, "Don't be an idiot, Nicky. Everyone cries, I've done it on you enough." His whole body was tense as Nick squeezed on old bruises but he didn't have the heart to tell the boy to stop. His phone buzzed and over Nick's shoulder he checked the message.

_**Fr**_ _**Jake: Dad's pissed and your in trouble Choir Boy. I wouldn't like to be in your shoes whenever you get home**_.

Wincing, Jeff turned off the phone, "Can I stay here tonight, Nicky?"

"You're in trouble aren't you!" Nick tried not to shout. He pulled back. "It's all my fault as usual," He said quieter, "Sure. You can stay the night. Well….. morning."  
>Nick's face softened as he tried wiping a tear. It didn't work, the end of his shirt was drenched from wiping tears. He sat down on the floor near his bed. "You can have the bed. I'll sleep on the floor."<p>

Jeff was honestly confused, "Why? You're beds plenty big enough, and we've shared a bed before Nicky, I don't bite. Unless," Jeff's voice dropped, he tried to keep the hurt out of his voice, to make himself sound apologetic, it didn't work, "Unless you think Seb would have a problem with it? And yeah, I'm in trouble, but it's not your fault, I can handle it."

Nick choked the last sob he had out and said," I-I don't know….. how Seb would react. And, well your straight. I wouldn't like t-to make you uncomfortable," Nick's eyes searched the ground. He had slept on the floor on countless occasions, why should this be different. he went to the cabinet and grabbed a spare pillow and blanket for himself. He placed them on the floor and waited curiously for Jeff to get into bed. "You don't have to hide the truth Jeff." he whispered "it's always my fault."

Jeff frowned and moved to sit on the bed, staring down at his friend, "Yeah I'm…I'm straight. But I'm your best friend Nicky, I have been since we were little. I'm friends with Kurt and Blaine and even," he swallowed, "Even Seb. You know I don't give a shit about anything like that, I love you guys!" he rubbed the back of his neck embarrassed, "It's not your fault, Nicky, if anything it's mine. I'm the one who pisses him off! Besides he'll ground me, maybe take away my car, it's not a big deal." Jeff lay back on the bed and wished that he knew that that was all that was going to happen, "Now do you want to talk or not?"

"I wish it were that simple….." Nick replied. Yes, he most definitely wanted to talk! But it could leave to him giving out too much. He sighed. "Jeff can I tell you something?"

Jeff nodded, lost in his own thoughts, staring up at the ceiling, "Sure, what's on your mind?"

"I think I might break up with Sebastian. I know I said I love him but….. I don't think he loves me. And you don't know until you risk it all," Nick stole a glance at Jeff then looked back to the floor. It wasn't at all comfortable, but as long as Jeff was fine.

Jeff nodded slowly, a warm feeling spread over him which he quickly ignored, "I think that's probably a good idea Nicky, he's obviously still obsessed with Blaine, though God knows why. Anyone can see that he and Kurt were made for each other." He stole a glance at Nick fidgeting on the floor, "Nick Duval get up on this damn bed. I'm not going to put up with you whining at my all day because your back hurts. If it bothers you that much _I'll_ sleep on the floor."

Nick sat up and quickly made his way to the bed, making sure he slept at the opposite end. He didn't really want Jeff to be uncomfortable. As he lay down, he realised how short he felt next to Jeff and tried to hide his embarrassment. "You don't have anything you wish to share Jeffie?"

The familiar feeling of hot pin pricks behind his eyes warned Jeff that tears were on there way and he turned his head to one side so that Nick couldn't see, cursing himself. Why did he always have to cry? Was there anything to wanted to share with Nick? How about the fact he was fucking terrified of what would happen when he went home? That he still hadn't healed properly from the last time his older brother got "mad" at him and that he wasn't sure he could stand one of his fathers rages? Or the fact he felt like a constant disappointment to his family. Or best yet the fact that more and more recently Jeff wasn't so sure he was as straight as he always assumed. More and more Jeff had been wishing that Nick would talk about him the way he did Sebastian.

"No." Jeff whimpered into the darkness, he fought to contain the small sob that followed it, he failed.

Did Nick hear correctly? He breathed out. "I hope you are fine, would you like me to go to your house tomorrow with you?" He hoped Jeff would say yes. He hoped he could be there for Jeff, forever and always. But he always feels Jeff doesn't want him. He was almost certain he heard a sob from Jeff. He moved from the end of the bed and made his way behind Jeff. He put one arm over him and nuzzled Jeff's back with his face.

Jeff started when he felt Nick snuggle up behind him, but then he relaxed into it, it felt so natural, so right. He wanted to say yes to Nick's offer, he knew that Nick would be outraged if he knew what went on his house, Jeff knew that Nick would do anything he could to try and protect him, so fighting to keep his body from shaking with the silent sobs that overcame him, Jeff took a deep breath and attempted to make his voice sound as normal as possible.

"No, Nick honestly, there's no need. He'll shout a bit and it'll be over." Jeff grabbed the hand that now rested on his chest and stroked his thumb over it, "Thank you though I-it means a lot."

Nick kissed as far up Jeff's back as he could reach. He shook the hair out of his eyes and closed them. "Goodnight, Jeff. Remember I am here for you." One final tear streamed down his cheek as he whispered that sentence and fell asleep.

**Reviews = Love.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hey its Chelsinator, hope you guys are liking this. Remember, this contains adult themes that may be triggering. We don't own glee.**

Nick fidgeted a little before opening his eyes. It was definitely much brighter than it was earlier this morning. He turned over and was shocked to see Jeff had left.  
>"Fuck!"<br>Now he knew Jeff didn't want him around. He would have at least waited to say goodbye. He sat up and scanned his room, his computer was open. He walked over to it and saw what Sebastian had written. 

_**Sebby3: R u ok? U ddnt reply.**_

Nick slammed the screen shut and walked to his bathroom. Running cold water, he looked at himself in the mirror. His eyes were still a little red. He washed his face and walked upstairs to the kitchen, knowing that was where he left his phone.  
>Finding it, he texted:<p>

**To Jeffie:**___Hey man, you okay? Why did you leave? Meet up? _

Jeff leant heavily against his wall and took a deep breath, wincing when his ribs shifted. His dad had been particularly mad, something about staying up all hours with some boy when he should be being responsible. Hearing his phone go off he gingerly pulled himself up and grabbed it, it was Nick. Assessing the damage in the mirror, Jeff cocked his head to one side and wondering if he'd be able to cover it with the makeup he'd nicked from Kurt. Sighing he shook his head and punched out a text

**To** **Nicky :) : **_Hey, bud. Sorry I had to run off - dad wanted me, you know? I can't meet up today, I got grounded. See you at school though!__**  
><strong>_  
>Silently he thanked God for weekends. Hopefully Nick would listen to him - though he rarely did. Now all he had to do was figure out how to cover a split lip…<p>

Nick couldn't believe what he heard.

**To Jeffie:** _Man, that sucks. Did he end up taking your car off you?_

He sighed. Maybe he could surprise Jeff. Show up at his house. That could be fun but Jeff would probably hate him for it. He was thinking about things to do today, when his phone went off.

**Fr Seb:**___Hey babe! Im feeling a little lonely ;) Wanna come round for some fun?_

Fuck. Nick had forgotten about Sebastian. How was he going to break up with the boy when he was just asked if he wanted to have sex! Should he tell Jeff about Sebastian?

Jeff bit his lip - and then regretted it - truth was he hadn't been grounded, nor had his car been taken away. His father didn't actually care enough to enforce those kinds of rules.

**To** **Nicky :) :**___Nah, I still have my baby. Not much I can do with her though when I'm not allowed to leave the house. What are your plans for the day then?_

Hearing a chuckle he turned to see his older brother leaning in the doorway,

"Told you, you were in trouble. Texting your boyfriend?"

Jeff growled moving to his bed and collapsing on it, "Piss off, Jake, Don't you have some girl to be screwing?"

Jake just laughed again, "Yes actually. Which is more than you could ever say."

He turned around and walked away, leaving Jeff to utter a rare curse word. He just wanted Nick.

Nick didn't know what to say. He was asked by his best friend -his crush - what he was doing and his boyfriend wanted sex. 

**To Jeffie:**___nothing. Been getting some texts from Seb but that's it. Serious you aren't allowed out? What if you're getting some 'groceries'__**  
><strong>_

Nick finished typing, so hopeful that Jeff was allowed.

Jeff closed his eyes and thought. He wanted to see Nick… last night had been … sort of weirdly perfect. Snapping his eyes open he decided, so long as he tried not to move too much his ribs should be fine, and he could probably pass the split lip off as football with Devon. Jeff was so useless at sport that it might actually work.

**To** **Nicky :) :**___Yeah actually, Dad's at work so I can slip out for a bit. Meet me at the park?_

Now he just had to hope that Nicky believed him…

Nick's smile widened as he ran upstairs to have shower. Before he forgot he text Seb.

**To Sebby:**___can't sorry. Also I really need to talk to you.____**  
><strong>_  
>He ducked into the shower got himself cleaned up. He found some deodorant his uncle gifted him and put it on. It smelt insanely nice so Nick never really used it. He ran outside and to his car to finally meet up with Jeff. He couldn't wait.<p>

Jeff sat on a swing, his head ducked. He needed to see his best friend, right now that was all he needed. But he wasn't looking forward to Nick's reaction when he saw his face… the boy had always been too protective for his own good. A wonderful smell overtook his senses and he looked up, straight into the dark eyes of Nick Duval.

To start, Nick was smiling but then he saw Jeff's condition. His glare softened as his eyes became moist, "What happened Jeffie?" He whispered.

Jeff shifted nervously and brought a hand up to his face, he hated lying to Nick, "It's nothing…honestly Devon made me play football with him and you know what I'm like… I - I tripped over my own feet."

Nick wanted to believe Jeff but everything about him seemed off. "What would you like to do Jeff? Maybe we could -"

Nick was I interrupted by his ring tone.

"Hello…?" He sighed. It was Sebastian. "We'll talk about it la-" He was getting impatient. "Be there soon."

Nick's voice wad stern and he was clearly un amused.

"Would you please come to Sebastian's with me?"

Jeff's eyes grew wide and everything in him screamed to say no. But honestly he welcomed the distraction. Besides if Nick needed him…  
>"Sure thing. Who's driving?"<p>

Nick breathed. "I will." He replied and with that, they were off.

Jeff sat nervously in the passenger seat, he kept seeing Nick cast suspicious glances at his face but he pointedly ignored them. He didn't care what it took, Nick could never find out about his dad.

"We're here." Nick murmured pulling up outside the massive house.

Nodding Jeff followed him up the drive was and hung back awkwardly, his head down as he rang the bell. Sebastian answered moments later, a cocky grin on his handsome face. Which faltered when he saw the top of Jeff's bright blond hair.

"Jeff. Hey. Wasn't expecting you too. Come on in guys."

Nick nodded, and grabbing Jeff lightly by the wrist he dragged him into the house, Sebastian followed, shutting the door behind them.

On entering, Nick was pulled in for a kiss by Sebastian. He tried, in all efforts, to stop but Seb managed to sneak his tongue in. Nick pulled away.

"What's wrong babe?" Sebastian asked, he certainly wasn't understanding the situation.  
>Nick tried to swallow the lump in his throat. He turned to Jeff. Hoping he could find the courage he needed in the blondes beautiful brown eyes. He faced Seb.<p>

"I-I…" He started, "I don't want to be in a relationship anymore."

Seb's face grew pale. "Why!" he shouted, then looked at Jeff. "It's him isn't it! It's Jeff!"

Nick's eyes grew wide as he pleaded that it wasn't, that clearly wasn't enough because it _was_ Jeff. Sebastian walked up to Nick and took hold of him arms, shaking him violently.

"Why couldn't you let me forget about Blaine!" Sebastian shouted through what were almost tears.

"You were using me to forget…?" Nick whispered as he ran out of the house, pulling Jeff from Seb's reach.

As Jeff stood awkwardly in Sebastian's hall way he felt his face flush when the newest Warbler pulled his best friend in for a kiss, and then there was the shouting and … well Nick didn't deny that it was about him did he? Jeff was pulled out of his thoughts when he heard Sebastian's next remark, and suddenly his blood boiled. How _dare_he use Nick like that. _How dare he._The only thing that stopped him from starting a fight - something which mild mannered Jeff rarely did - was Nick dragging him out of the house. They sat in the car, Nick staring straight ahead, Jeff staring at Nick.

"He isn't worth it, Nicky" Jeff whispered, "He's a dick and he isn't worth it. It'll be okay. You were -" he paused, not sure if it was right thing to say "I mean you were there to break up with him anyway…"

For a moment, Nick couldn't comprehend words. He heard his friend perfectly, but where he was staring seemed to have taken all hope that Nick even had a voice box. He took a deep and shuddered breath. "…..He wanted me to….." He didn't want to finish his sentence, remembering the text from this morning. He pulled the keys out of his pocket and started he car. He wasn't even sure he had the ability to drive. But he did anyway. His fingers were trembling a little as he tried to forget it all. From ever being with Seb to ever kissing him. He wanted every detail out. But they wouldn't leave. He pulled up next to Jeff's car, knowing that his friend would have to leave him soon and he could break down properly.

"…..he wanted me to….."  
>Jeff's blood ran cold and he felt anger take him over again, that little <em>shit.<em> He's heard the rumours, everybody had, but Jeff generally didn't set much store by them. His hands curled into fists and he looked down at his lap not sure what to say. Nick pulled up next to his car and he winced. He didn't want to leave Nick, didn't want to go home.  
>"I could… I could stay with you again tonight if you want?" Jeff murmured hesitantly, "I mean we're both going to Dalton in the morning anyway…"<p>

Nick's eyes, still threatening to tear up, widened. That would make Nick pleased, well. It would make Nick overwhelmingly happy, especially after today's scene. But, he sighed and said, "You can't, you're grounded.." Nick stared at the ground, trying hard to keep each tear at bay. "I don't want to get you in trouble….." he took a deep breath, "… again."

Jeff winced and silently acknowledged the truth of his friends words, he might not really be grounded but he was in trouble… and if his dad found out that he'd spent all night at Nick's again…

He pulled out his phone, ignoring the dull ache across his ribs and dialled, "Hey dad. Yeah I know you're busy … I know … I'm _sorry …_look, David called, he wants to go over our project for business studies tonight …I'll stay in dorms tonight. Right." He involuntary shuddered at his fathers threatening tone and lowered his voice, avoiding Nick's gaze, "I know okay? I _know_. See you next weekend." He hung up and turned to Nick, grinning, "Sorted!"

Really mentioning business studies had been a stroke of genius, he father would never have agreed otherwise. Now he was free, free until next weekend. He loved that he was a week-time border!

Nick actually smiled in what seemed like the worst day of his life. But he was definitely going to have to break down eventually.  
>"Aren't you going to need your stuff? I can meet you at my house." He smiled, that could be his chance to cry alone. He needed it out of his system, and if a relationship is good or bad, break ups hurt. Nick avoided his message tone and waited for Jeff's reply.<p>

Jeff's smile faltered. At least his dad wasn't home… maybe he could get in and out without Jake seeing him. He nodded jerkily,  
>"Yeah, okay. I'll… see you in half an hour or so I guess." He reached out and gave Nick a one armed hug, lightly pressing his lips to the soft hair once more, hoping Nick wouldn't feel it.<br>He got out of the car and with one last small smile at his best friend he climbed into his own and headed home.

Nick sat back in his car and touched the top of his head. He closed his eyes but remembered he had a text…

…It was Sebastian. 

_**Fr Sebby: I'm sorry for lashing out babe, maybe we can fix this.**_

Nick sighed, he had a good half an hour or so until Jeff came to his house, but. He couldn't risk anything.

_**To Sebby: Look, I am sorry. But I just don't want to be in a relationship. It's not Jeff either I just, can't deal with the hassle right now. My dad lost his job and well. We are struggling. Sorry, but maybe if it all gets better and we wanna try again, I'll be here.**_

Nick regretted sending that. He hadn't even told Jeff about his dad. Starting his car, Nick let tears glide and he drove home.

**Reviews = Love.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hey everyone, Meiko again. I just want to say thanks so much for all the Story Alerts and Favourite Stories we've been getting, it means a lot that you like this! Some more reviews would be nice though :P**

So as always this story contains mature themes which might be triggering, specific warnings for this chapter include homophobic language and physical and emotional abuse.

**We don't own glee... **

**Enjoy!**

Nick sat on his bed and noticed that the deodorant wore off._Wow, doesn't last long…._ He thought to himself. But that wasn't what mattered. Nick walked towards the shower, he always liked having three a day but at school it was a strict two.

**(********)**

Jeff practically ran to his room, desperately throwing things in his bag. Uniform, toiletries, laptop… everything he'd need for the week. He packed his bag in record time and spun around to find Jake blocking the door way.  
>Jeff growled, frustrated, "Get out of my way, Jake." he bit out.<br>The older boy smirked and advanced on his little brother, "I know that you're not going to David's."

"You don't know anything." Jeff shook his head, "Why do you even care?"

"Because I don't want everyone finding out my brothers a _fag._" He spat out the ugly word, punctuating it with a light hit to Jeff's already bruised side, "People already say it you know? Prancing around with your pathetic Glee club. It's embarrassing."

Jeff cried out in pain as his brother targeted his existing injuries once more, "I'm straight, Jacob!"

His brother laughed and backed away, "You keep telling yourself that little brother. But I can't wait to see dad's reaction when he finds out. Say hello to your boyfriend for me."

Jeff watched his brother go and pulled himself painfully to his feet, a few tears leaked from his eyes but he brushed them away angrily and headed for Nick's. Reaching the house in even less time than last night, he knocked gently on the door.

Nick's mother opened the door and greeted Jeff warmly. She always gave him a soft hug and kiss on the cheek. As usual, when she saw a cut on Jeff, she worried.  
>"Sweetie, what have you done to yourself this time?" She laughed in her pretend stern voice. After a moment of acquainting each other she sent him up to Nick's room. Nick was still in the bathroom. He actually managed to let a few more tears out. He sprayed the deodorant on and walked out, almost slipping over when he saw Jeff. He smiled, but he was sure Jeff could tell it was fake.<br>"You okay? You look a little, uneasy." he asked walking to stand in front of Jeff.

Jeff blinked, no he wasn't alright. His side felt like it was on fire and he was crushed, he was pretty sure he was gay now - or at least he knew he liked Nick - and his family had practically disowned him before he'd even had chance to come out. He couldn't make Nick worry, he couldn't risk Nick getting hurt if he tried to protect him, he forced himself to smile even wider,

"Fine, Nicky. I just don't feel great. How are you doing?"

Nick remembered getting that message from Seb, asking if he could fix everything. He threw his phone onto his bed and hugged Jeff. "Thank you for going to Seb's with me…." he whispered, "I'm sorry how he behaved." Nick rested his head on Jeff's chest before moving away. "Anything you want to talk about?" he asked.

Jeff had to bit his lip to keep from crying out in pain when Nick hugged him, but he couldn't help but let out a small whimper, which he really hoped his friend missed.

"You didn't behave badly at all, it's not your fault he's a bastard." He felt Nick's shocked eyes on him but ignored them, he didn't usually like to swear but he couldn't help it, "And I… I would like to talk to you Nick. But, I can't. You understand that right?"

Nick couldn't think of anything to say. His mouth was moving but no words formed. He was shocked to be honest. He felt Jeff didn't trust him. After letting one tear fall, he asked, "C-Can I tell you something..?" _What are you doing you idiot! Don't tell him! He doesn't care about your father losing his job why would you even think to ask him! Just say something stupid, tell him your favourite colour is potatoes! Just don't tell hi-_"My father… lost his job" he frowned. He should have listened to his thoughts. "Jeff, promise me one day you will tell me everything…" he sort of enforced rather than ask. He held his pinky out and waited.

Jeff stared blankly at the outstretched finger, Nick's dad had lost his job? That was just… He'd always been so much closer to Nick's family than his own,

"Is he… I mean… Are you okay for money?"

Seeing that Nick wasn't going to answer until Jeff promised, the taller Warbler sighed, failing to battle the tears that were running down his face "Look… I didn't want you to know, because I don't want you to get hurt, but I can't deal with it by myself any more. I just… I don't think I can say it, so talk to Thad and he'll tell you some of it… and then I promise to tell you the rest. Okay?" Jeff linked pinkies with it best friend.

Nick couldn't help but cry with his best friend. Their pinkies stayed connected as he wiped a tear from his eye.  
>"We should be fine, he just has to find a job," Nick shuddered. There was that fake smile again, and everyone knew how hard it was to find a job around this place. Nick had been saving up, he had over 3,000 dollars in his savings and he was willing to give every last drop of it to his parents. He wanted to see them happy. He had been saving to go overseas but this was far important.<p>

Jeff nodded, seeing through his friends lies easily, "I … I have money saved, every time my dad goes on business trip he gives us money we don't need. It's yours. All of it… I stay here more than I stay at home and I …" Jeff looked up and his eyes locked with the warm, gentle ones of the boy he thought he loved, he stopped speaking, willing his friend to understand it wasn't charity, "I couldn't stand it if your family had to move, Nicky. I couldn't live without you."

Nick felt like a loser.  
>"It's fine, I have a junk load of money I will never use so…" Nick trailed off.<br>He stared into Jeff's eyes and it felt as if every trouble had, disappeared. He felt warm and loved but he knew it would never happen. Guys like Nick can't go chasing straight, soon-to-be businessmen like Jeff. He knew this all too well.  
>"I would have no meaning without you" he said, forcing a smile. But it was true, without six, three was nothing.<p>

Jeff chuckled weakly through his tears. He wished Nick would like him. It made him feel so crap that even though Nick was _gay,_he would never look at him like that. Jeffrey Sterling after all, was no Sebastian Smythe. In looks or money. "I'd do anything for you. You know that, Nicky?" He didn't wait for an answer, scared of what it would be, "So! What do you want to do?"

Nick wiped his tears away and thought long and hard. He checked under his bed for his tub of redvines. He wasn't supposed to have them. His parent are more of an organic type which usually meant no candy. But Nick always had a large tub of redvines stashed under his bed. He had about fifteen dollars in his wallet then smiled to Jeff.  
>"If we want to survive the night we need candy!" he laughed, standing next to Jeff.<p>

**(*********)**

Jeff woke up the next day in much the same position as they'd slept the night before. Stretching, he woke up Nick and tried not to grin as the shorter boy stretched like a cat relieving a sliver of tanned skin between his shirt and his boxers. The went through the usual morning routines and found themselves at Dalton gates before either one knew it.  
>They had no classes together and the next time they saw each other was in Warbler practice, as they walked into the room, Jeff caught sight of Thad seated behind the council's table and froze. <em>Oh God<em>. He'd forgotten the promise he'd made Nick. The colour slowly drained from his face and he turned to his best friend.

"Nicky, I… I still don't feel so good. I'm going to give Warblers a miss today. See you later. Bye."

He bolted. Collapsing on his bed he slammed his open palm into his forehead with brute force, _Stupid, stupid, stupid. How could you make that stupid promise Jeff?_ His mind screamed at him. _Now Nick'll find out, and he'll get hurt, and it will be all your fault! _

Nick was confused. Jeff never missed Warbler practise. He turned into the direction Jeff was once facing. Thad. He had to ask Thad but he was going to do it after practise.  
>"Warbler Nick…" David started.<br>"Have you prepared your audition?"

Nick hesitated, he forgot all about it.  
>"No, sorry" he replied.<br>The rest of practise flew by and Nick found himself in front of Thad.

"Thad….." He breathed in," What's going on with Jeff?"  
>Thad's smile instantly blew over.<br>"He is being abused by someone, I am guessing a local bully. He wont tell me who, but he usually has a couple of scratches and bruises, it is rarely serious." Thad replied, walking off.

Nick ran as fast as he could to Jeff's dorm, not bothering to knock.

"Who is it?" He screamed, tears ready to fall. _No you wont cry!_

Jeff bit his lip, trying valiantly not to cry, he looked up at Nick, arranging his face into what he hoped looked like confusion,

"What are you talking about, Nick? I'm just ill. I _told_you."

It was worth a try…

"Don't give me that I am not a fucking idiot!" He shouted, cursing himself for swearing at Jeff. He ran a frustrated hand through his hair and sat on the ground near the door. He tucked his knees up to his chin and laced his arms over.  
>"Who…. is…. it?"<p>

Jeff winced away from the anger radiating off his friend, he opened his mouth to lie again but caught the heated glare that Nick sent him and changed his mind. _This is it Jeff, just tell him already. You don't need to keep it to yourself any more._Jeff looked into his best friends eyes and past the cold fury he saw only concern, and that's what spurred him on. He looked down into his lap and the words came out as barely a whisper,

"Normally it's Jake… but he's… he's more-" The words choked off in his throat and he took a second before forcing himself to carry on, "He's not as tough on me. It's worst when, when _he,_when my - my d…."

He looked up, silently pleading with Nick to understand so that he wouldn't have to say it. Pleading with Nick to say it for him.

"….dad…" Nick screwed his eyes shut. _No no no! Mr Sterling was nice! Well you don't really know him. He can go die in a fucking hole where no one will ever find him again._

"Take your shirt off" Nick demanded more than asked. He needed to see, see it for himself. He didn't want to see, but if he didn't he good deny it all as a bad dream.  
>"Now…!"<p>

Jeff's head snapped up. _No. No he couldn't do that_. Nick looked so angry. Quite frankly it was terrifying he'd never seen him like that before.

"Nicky…." His voice turned pleading, he was begging and he hated it, "Nicky, please! There's nothing there, you've been with me all weekend… don't make me." Nick was unmoved, Jeff's voice rose in desperation "_Please_, Nick!"

"I want to make sure you are okay." Nick stated, but he didn't want to push Jeff. Forcing Jeff into would mean, apart from the fact he is straight, they could never be together.  
>"Why?" he paused. "Why do they do it?"<br>Nick stood up and made his way over to Jeff, refusing to sit down.

Jeff looked up at his friend and considered what he'd said. He wanted to make sure he was okay… No one had said that in years. Not even Thad - though to be fair, Jeff would admit he had played down the situation incredibly to Thad, he'd only told him because he was finding it hard to keep up with the Warbler's one day. Slowly, painfully, Jeff unbuttoned his shirt and slid it off his shoulders. He looked down, refusing to meet Nick's eyes, scared of what he'd find there.

"Because I'm an embarrassment." He whispered.

"Shit! Jeff this is fuc-. This is serious! They can't do that. Why do they do it?" Nick's heart was beating fast. Scratches and bruises, that's all he could see.  
>"What have you done for them to want to do this? Does it amuse them?"<br>Nick was too busy asking questions before what Jeff said sunk in.  
>"You're an embarrassment….? Why?"<p>

Jeff shrugged and wrapped his arms around himself protectively,

"You know… They want me to be this big business man like they are, or to play sports like Devon and to be loud and assertive and I'm just different. Dad reckons that I need to be kept in line… that that way I'll see that singing and acting and playing the guitar aren't important." And, Jeff sniffed dejectedly, "Jake called me a 'fag' yesterday," He glances at his friend apologetically when he said the word, "He said I was embarrassing the family…"

Nick winced at the word he knew all to well. Before Dalton, fag was his nickname.  
>"But you're straight Jeff, w-why would he call you that?"<br>Nick wiped a tear that had betrayed his efforts. He wanted to hug Jeff but knew how much pain that would cause. Nick kissed Jeff's forehead and patted his hair a little.  
>"I'll always be here for you Jeff,"<p>

"I… I'm not sure that I am straight, Nick. And Jake says I…" Jeff blushed didn't finish his sentence, he looked down, "I mean I don't know! It's all so…" He broke off, pulling his hair hard in frustration, "What am I going to do, Nicky? I'm so scared all the time… What am I going to do?"

Not caring about the pain he flung himself into Nick's arms, crying solidly into the junction between his shoulder and neck.

"Hey, it will be okay." Nick replied. He knew it was stressful but lucky for him the first person he kissed was David. Spin the bottle while being the only one sober gives you a lot of time to think.  
>"They don't know anything about you" Nick said, softly rubbing the back or Jeff's neck. He pulled Jeff away and stared into his eyes.<br>"There's one way to know if you are gay…" he said and before Jeff could ask how, he pressed their lips together.

For a moment Jeff didn't feel anything but shock, and then he was kissing back and it was pure bliss. Everything else seemed to melt away, he didn't feel any pain and all that mattered was that they were both there. But then Nick placed his hand on his side without thinking and the sudden jolt of piercing pain brought him back to reality. He scrambled back on the bed, pressing himself against the wall, one hand ghosting over his lips. He couldn't _do_this. He couldn't become the one thing his family didn't want him to be. It would just make everything worse, make the abuse worse.

"Nick," His voice was shaking, "I think I just need a couple of hours, can you… can you please leave? I need to talk to someone."

He watched Nick go, and it broke his heart, then he pulled out his phone phone and hit speed dial 5.

_"Kurt!" _

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	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hurro, everyone! :3 How are you all? As usual, this story contains adult themes that may be triggering! We don't own glee or Curt… or Riker…. (Though I wish I could) Reviews would be lovely! :3 - Chelsinator**

Nick left the room as instructed, his lip quivering.  
><em>Blaine<em>_  
><em>He ran down the corridor to his shared dorm with Trent - It's much cheaper to share a dorm - pulling out his phone he dialled Blaine's number.

The ringing stopped and Nick heard a happy, _"Hello Nicholas."_

"Blaine, I kissed Jeff!"

_"Really? I thought you were with Sebastian"_

Nick didn't want to talk about Seb. He turned to see Trent sleeping so he walked into the corridor, "No I'm not."

_"Sorry man."_

"Just, don't."

_"…."_

"I kissed Jeff and he told me to leave. What should I say to him?"

Nick hung up, he hoped Blaine was right. He walked back inside and collapsed on his bed.

**(************)**

"Kurt! Nick kissed me and I don't know what to do! How do I even respond to that? What do I do? What would you do I just…"

_"Jeff? Jeff you need to breath, honey. Hang on."_ Jeff heard Kurt talking to Blaine softly on the other end of the phone, then he heard a door close, _"Alright, I'm by myself now. What happened, Jeff? I thought you were straight…" _

"I though I was too… but some really serious stuff came up and then I said I wasn't sure any more and the next thing he was kissing me."

_"__Oh Gaga."_ The blonde Warbler heard Kurt sigh, _"Well did you kiss him back?"_

"Yes…"

_"Did you like it?"_

"Kurt! It was … I mean it was different." Jeff took a deep breath, "It was wonderful… I've never felt anything like that before, he was so gentle and it was just… why are you laughing?"

_"I'm s-sorry."_ Kurt giggled down the line, _"I just have no idea why you're calling me. I'd say it was pretty obvious, that would even be obvious to_**_Blaine_**_.__Now, g__o__and find Nick and apologise. He's talking to Blaine now and it sounds like you upset him."_

Jeff groaned, "God.. I didn't mean - Thank you Kurt!"

_"My pleasure."_ Kurt chuckled, _"You boys have fun now."_

**(***********)**

Nick lay on his bed.

_What were you thinking you stupid idiot?_

Why did he have to be gay? He hated this, he finally got to kiss Jeff, it was nice, but it was stolen.

_Stop thinking about Jeff! Think of something else!_

Nick closed his eyes and memories came flooding back.

~"**Ew! Guys we have a gay kid in our year!"~** That was Elijah Dack. Back in his old school he walked past his group and overheard him.

He wondered if Jeff would say anything like that to him as it was clear he is straight. Perhaps Jeff would go as far as Jeremy Bennett and call him a fag.

**~"Fuckin' fag, go hang yourself"~** Jeremy shouted at Nick. That was the day people from the higher years found out.

**Nick shut his eyes tighter and tried to get to sleep. But failed.**

**(*********)  
><strong>

Jeff was running, still shirtless, he wasn't even thinking about that now. He had to make Nick realise that he wasn't mad at him. Even if Nick, _had_ just kissed him out of pity, he couldn't lose Nick as a friend over this. He _needed_ him right no! He reached his dorm room door and knocked quietly, cursing himself for crying again. No one answered. In the state he was in, Jeff didn't stop to consider that he might be waking up Trent, he started slamming his fists into the door, crying Nick's name. He felt the skin on his knuckles crack before the door was opened.

Trent opened the door, "J-Jeff I w-was trying t-t... Jeff! Y-Y-Your body!"

Behind Trent, Nick was in a deep sleep. His face was red and his cheeks were damp. It looked like he was hugging himself the way he was sleeping. His arms were wrapped around his body and his knees were up to his face. God knows how he was able to do it without holding on to his knees. He was pretty flexible.  
>He shuffled a little and whispered "Don't….."<p>

Jeff recoiled from Trent, he'd forgotten about his chest and now he wasn't sure what do to… He didn't like being stared at like that. It was a mixture of pity and horror and Trent wouldn't take him eyes off him. Before either one had chance to say anything, Jeff heard Nick's whimper and he'd slipped past Trent before the other Warbler knew what was happening. Jeff kneeled by his best friends bed and gently brushed his dark hair away from his forehead, wincing as the blood from his knuckles stained his friends skin a little bit. Trent was still staring at him.

"Nicky, honey wake up. Wake up, Nick. It's okay…"

Slowly his friends eyes opened and they just stared at each other for a second.

Nick breathed heavy. He blinked a couple of times before rolling over.

"What are you doing here?" Nick cried.

If Nick wasn't mistaken, he was not in Jeff's 'good books'. He was punching his leg to stop himself for crying or shouting. Harder and harder, he lay there punch his leg, not even willing to look at Jeff.

Jeff stood frozen for a minute, then he flew into action, grabbing hold of Nick's hands, "Nick! Nicky! Stop it!" Nick stopped and looked up, obviously confused, "I'm sorry Nick," Jeff leant his forehead against Nick's, "I'm so sorry, I was scared and I was confused. But that was… that was pretty amazing, Nicky. I don't know whether or not I'm gay or bi or whatever but I.. I think I might be falling in love you." They were silent for a few moments. Then Jeff stole a quick glance over his shoulder and tears filled his eyes as he lowered his voice, "He won't stop staring at me, Nicky. It's scaring me."

Nick couldn't process anything but _'falling in love with you'_

He shook his head and broke the trance. He got up to walk to Trent but almost fell. He was hitting himself harder than expected. He shut his eyes and got grips with himself. He breathed out.

"Trent, sweetie?" he clicked his fingers.

Trent was trying to form words but managed little.

Nick ran a frustrated hand through his hair, "Please don't talk about this Okay?"

Trent nodded, Nick turned to Jeff and walked to him, nearly falling over, "Let's go to your dorm." His voice wasn't as sweet as it was to Trent. But Trent was slightly mentally disabled and he felt better when people didn't talk down at him. Nick understood the most.

Walking back to his room, Jeff started shivering and he couldn't stop. What if Nick didn't want to know him any more? They entered the room and Nick shut the door and turned silently to look at Jeff, who couldn't hold it in any more.

"I'm s-so sorry I pushed you away, I was just scared, I didn't know what to think and it felt so w-wonderful. My family would kill me if they found out I was actually gay Nick, and I can barely d-deal with the p-p-pain sometimes as it is… I understand if you were just k-kissing me because you felt sorry for me, but please don't stop being my friend. Please don't hate me, Nicky."

Jeff sank to his knees, sobbing, he couldn't stop. He was just so _scared,_and Nick _still_ hadn't said anything!

Nick sat next to Jeff and huddle his legs to his body as he always did when he had nothing to say. He glanced at Jeff. It was if Jeff had more tears than he had hairs on his body.

"I didn't kiss you out of pity" Nick noted how fast Jeff's head rose." I kissed you because I..." He just couldn't finish that sentence.

Jeff's breath caught in his throat. "Why, Nick? Why did you do it? Tell me. Please…" Jeff couldn't stop shaking, he was freezing and it had been a long day, his whole body convulsed with the force of them but he kept his eyes on Nick, waiting for the answer he needed to hear.

Nick stood up and took his Jacket off for Jeff. He was practically freezing to death.  
>"Because, I….."<br>This was it. Nick could admit it, finally!  
>He placed the jacket over Jeff's shoulders, watching how he gladly snuggled with it, wishing he was snuggling with Nick.<br>"I….."  
>He swallowed the lump in his throat.<br>"I love you Jeff….."

Jeff closed his eyes as those words washed over him, bringing more warmth that the Blazer ever could. Tentatively he leaned across and bridged the gap between, pressing him lips to Nick's softly, sweetly, gently

Nick kissed back, his tongue skimmed across Jeff's bottom lip. He cupped his face with his hands and pulled him closer.

**Reviews = Love**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hey guys! This one's a little short (but trust me the chapters will only get longer as they go on) and the next chapters in Text format and a little different but I hope you still like it!**

**As always, matures themes that might be triggering and we don't own Glee or the boys... I only wish that we did :D**

**Enjoy!**

**Meiko.**

Jeff was curled up with his back against Nick's chest in bed, it was slightly awkward considering Jeff was taller, but he was hunched over and Nick was stronger anyway. The dark haired Warbler was gently ghosting his fingers over the dark bruises that covered the blondes torso.

"Nicky… are we…

"I think we should…" This was going to kill Nick to say but it had to be done.  
>"We should just... keep it as friends for now. Until you are ready.. I don't want you to get hurt! Please, know if anything happens to you. I will be there."<p>

Nick kissed Jeff's neck and prepared to get up. He knew it would suck but Jeff's well-being mattered.

Jeff stared blankly at his friend, not comprehending what he'd just said.  
>"<em>No!<em> No, Nicky." His gaze hardened and for once there were no tears, "I'm sorry but no. They're going to hurt me anyway. They have done for years, and I _want_ this. You said that _you_ wanted this. You don't get to just kiss me, tell me you love me and then leave, Nick. It doesn't _work_ like that!"

Nick was tensing up.

"I know Jeff! But if loving you means you slowly dying from family abuse… I would live a loveless life forever." Nick dropped his head. Jeff probably wouldn't understand. "I don't want to sound selfish, and this is definitely going to but... It would mean taking care of you _and_ my family. I was going to use that money. I was going to travel." Nick looked up to Jeff, his tired expression plastered strongly, his eyes were heavy. "I really do love you and I want to be with you more than anything. But I want you safe more than that"

Jeff stood up, fists balled, he was getting angry. His voice was getting louder, he never shouted. "You know what Nicholas Duval? Fuck off!" He spat, "I fucking love you, you _asshole_. When are you going to get that through your thick skull. I want to be with you. It killed me watching you messing around with Sebastian. I want to be safe too, but you know what? The only time I feel safe is around you." He took a couple of deep breaths and when he spoke anger still spiked his tone like venom, but at least he wasn't shouting. "I never once asked you to take care of me. I have every intention of still living at home. This is not just your decision Nick."

When Jeff shouted, Nick fell to the ground with shock. His eyes were wide open and he couldn't move. He couldn't speak and as he sat there, he couldn't think of anything but how scared he felt right now. Jeff - quiet stay at home Jeff - was shouting and telling him to fuck off. His heart was racing.  
>"…..I…..I said it f-for you."<p>

Jeff's face instantly softened and he crouched down next to Nick, stroking one hand down his face, "Did you ever stop to think that that wasn't what I wanted? Nicky… you're my best friend, but after all this I can't go back to being just friends with you and I _need_ you in my life right now. My dad is going to hurt me no matter what. I need you there to help pick me back up again. But you have to promise me that the next time one of them hurts me you won't go in there and yell at them. Because I don't want to see them hurt you. Okay?"

When Jeff touched Nick's face, he flinched. He was almost afraid that Jeff was going to hit him. "I can't promise you that. I love you too much and I will be here for you, no matter what." Nick shook a little as he tried calming down, his breaths shuddered. "I-I love you…." Nick dug his face into Jeff's shoulder and hugged.

"I'm so sorry…" Jeff murmured, he'd seen the flinch, "I'm just as bad as my dad aren't I? You shouldn't have to be scared of me, Nick… I was just so afraid you were going to leave me. We've always had each other, ever since we were four years old. I can't do this without you…. " The rocked each other as the hugged and suddenly a thought occurred to Jeff, "Nicky? What did Blaine say to you when you called me? Kurt said you did…"

Nick pulled away. "H-he….. He said that if I am unsure that you like me. Which I was. That I should let it blow over. But then…." Nick rested his face in his hand.  
>"This is all so confusing!" Nick put his knees up to his face as always and sat, not knowing what to say. "I don't think you are anything like that monster you call a father."<p>

Jeff nodded, "It is confusing. Kurt once told me that not everything's always black and white. He's right you know? I don't think I'm gay, but I know that I love you. That's the only thing that I do know." He paused, thinking, "I'm not saying that my dad's right… but he does what he does because he thinks that he cares. He says he's trying to help me." Jeff looked down, slightly ashamed and not wanting to look in Nick's incredulous eyes.

"Help You!" Nick felt stupid. Jeff couldn't be serious. "He's trying to fucking shape you!"  
>At his words, Nick shuddered. "I….I-I….Sorry." he frowned. But it was true. No father beats their son because he isn't perfect to try and help him. Not one. Nick thought about leaving. He has caused too much damage. "Do you want me to go?" he asked stupidly.<p>

"_No!"_ He reached out and grabbed Nick's hand, "I'm sorry. I know you're right… It's just you get used to things you know?" He paused, "Kurt asked me if I wanted to go for a drive with him… I'll keep my phone on and we can text okay. I think I need to talk to him about… us. He's a good listener"

Nick nodded silently, not making a sound and he turned for the door. The pain in his leg almost as bad as the pain in his heart.

**Reviews = Love.**


	6. Chapter 6

**AN/ Hey Nifflers! How are we all? Hope you enjoy this and watch them use the 'b' word! - Chelsinator**

**Mature themes which might be triggering and we don't own Glee, Riker or Curt.**

**_(********)_**

**_To Nicky_**_: I'm sorry... I really do love you, you know?_

**To Jeffie:** Yes. I know.

**_To Nicky_**_: You're mad..._

**To Jeffie:** No just. IDK

**_To Nicky_**_: I'm sorry. This is all my fault. I should never have told you anything._

**To Jeffie:** Don't say that. Don't ever say that. I want to look after you, whether you want me to or not. I am here for you because you are beautiful. Inside and out.

**_To Nicky _**_: I... thank you. I just feel like I've dumped all this shit on you, you have enough going on without worrying about me all the time. Kurt's here. Give me 5._

**To Jeffie:** I worried for you before today. ok talk soon.

**_To Nicky:_**_What were you worried about? I never told you anything was wrong!_

**To Jeffie:** Your eyes did : (

**_To Nicky:_**_Oh... I'm really sorry, I was trying to spare you the worry. And I don't want you getting hurt, something people don't seem to realise_.

**To Jeffie:** and me...

**_To Nicky:_**_And you what?_

**To Jeffie:** Dont seem to realise it.

**_To Nicky:_**_Of course I don't want you hurt! Nick, I know what my dads like, if you try and have a go at him he will hurt you. And do you really think I want you anywhere near Jake after what he said to me yesterday?_

**To Jeffie:** I really don't care. I would rather be in pain then have you suffer. I know you are over hearing that but it is true. I just don't want to lose you.

**_To Nicky:_**_You wouldn't lose me! I'm still here aren't I? It's nothing I can't handle. And Listen to Blaine would you?_

**To Jeffie:** What do you mean? I... always listen to him.

**_To Nicky:_**_He told me he just gave you some advice. Nicky, could I stay at yours this weekend... I know it's not for like five days but..._

**To Jeffie:** Of course, I just gave my parents the three grand. They told me I shouldn't have worried but I guess that's what I do best. : )

**_To Nicky:_**_You are a worrier, guess I might end up having to go home, but we'll see. Kurt's being amazing. Don't think he believes I hurt my face playing football though... :S_

**To Jeffie:** Are you going to tell him?

**_To Nicky:_**_I... I told him that my dad and brother weren't nice people, and that they wouldn't be accepting. I'm not going to elaborate but I think he's worked it out. He isn't stupid._

**To Jeffie:** No he isn't. If anything, he's a fucking genius!

**_To Nicky:_**_Uhhuh... I really am sorry about today._

**To Jeffie:** Look, don't worry!

**_To Nicky:_**_...okay._

**To Jeffie:** How is the drive going?

**_To Nicky:_**_It's good. Kurt's really understanding, I missed him. What are you up to? Back with Trent?_

**To Jeffie:** Yea, his mom wanted me to make sure he had his medication so after that we watched a movie. He is asleep.

**_To Nicky:_**_I feel bad about before, but it was making me really uncomfortable..._

**To Jeffie:** He didn't know any better. But you and I both know he is loyal, he wont tell anyone.

**_To Nicky:_**_I hope not... it's bad enough you knowing and Thad sort of knowing._

**To Jeffie:** Its so bad because if Trent told anyone, no one would believe him. I feel so sorry for him sometimes D:

**_To Nicky:_**_Well.. you know him better than I do. He's lucky to have you though, you're an amazing friend_

**To Jeffie:** Yea, I just made sure he was in his bed and I am going for a walk. I'm just going in my jeans too. Can't be bother to change into shorts. Seb texted me again, I don't know what to do.

**_To Nicky:_**_Ignore him, you know he's obsessed with Blaine... Besides, it... I mean that really doesn't matter now does it?_

**To Jeffie:** No. I have someone else to call amazing now : D

**_To Nicky:_**_Good to know :D I just chewed out an anon for you. Nick... are we dating now? I don't know whether to call you my best friend or my boyfriend anymore._

**To Jeffie:** Love you BF

**_To Nicky:_**_I love you too :P _

**To Jeffie:** You don't think I have issues do you?: (

**_To Nicky:_**_Where's this coming from?_

**To Jeffie:** My uncle said I had issues. That my parents should keep an eye on me

**_To Nicky:_**_Then your uncle's a liar_

**To Jeffie:** I used to believe him : (

**_To Nicky:_**_I'll never let you again... _

**To Jeffie:** Why?

**_To Nicky:_**_Because you're worth more that that. You still out on your walk?_

**To Jeffie:** Yea, i am near the park

**_To Nicky:_**_Be careful out there.._

**To Jeffie:** Don't worry if anyone comes, i will show them my issues, Fuck...

**To Jeffie:** Sorry...

**(******) **

**Reviews = Love**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Hey everyone! Sorry this one took a little longer than the others, things have been kind of hectic and I didn't have time to edit it! I hope you're all still enjoying it!**

**As always this fic contains mature themes which may be triggering, this chapter in particular contains mentions of self harm. And of course, we don't own Glee or the boys.**

**Enjoy! - Meiko.**

Nick knocked on Jeff's door. Not too loud as to startle him, but loud enough for a warning he was entering.  
>"Hey there."<br>He said softly to Jeff.

Jeff opened the door and took in his boyfriend's - _boyfriend's -_tense limbs. He pulled him into a hug,

"You don't have issues."

Nick was happy Jeff believed that. But still, something was settling uneasy.  
>"My Uncle said-"<p>

I don't want to talk about him anymore, Nicky. He isn't worth it…. why did you walk for so long?"

Nick almost forgot. His face lit up. He searched his pockets. Front….. no….. back? …. no. Shirt! He pulled out two necklaces. Both had a nerdy robot, complete with Glasses, Tie and Moustache. He handed one to Jeff, it read 'Forever' His said 'Together'.  
>"I picked these up with the last of my money. I know it is a little corny, and early when you think about it, but I couldn't refuse."<p>

Jeff laughed out loud and threw the monstrous thing around his neck, he leant in and kissed Nick's forehead gentle, "These are ridiculous… I love it though."  
>The moved to the bed and sat down, Jeff's laptop between them, "I changed my tumblr profile… we're officially boyfriends. No going back now…" The blonde glanced up nervously, "That okay with you?"<p>

Nick could only think of one thing.  
>"Your family…." he said, his mind rethinking what Jeff told him.<p>

The colour drained from Jeff's face, "But you said!… You said we were boyfriends! Oh God, have I got this horribly wrong?"

"No no _no_, Jeffie, We are! We are! I was just wondering if your family will see?" Nick felt terrible, he didn't mean to set Jeff off like that. "Please text me or call me if they say or do anything…" He was waiting for a reply. "Ok?"

Jeff bit his lip, and then winced as it started bleeding again. He busied himself trying to find a tissue in the hope that Nick would forget he asked a question. He _couldn't_ promise him that.

Jeff was struggling to find a tissue. Nick, luckily, had a small pack of them in his pocket. He pulled one out and gently dabbed Jeff's lip.

"Please Jeff, I want to be here for you…"

They way Nick spoke was different. he almost sounded pleadingly. Like that was all he had to live for. He hoped Jeff could detect that.

"Nicky…" Jeff whined softly, "I'm just trying to protect you. I've got used to him hurting me. If he hit you it would hurt you more…" He closed his eyes, "You can understand that right? Any I'm not changing my profile back. I'm not going to lie to them about who I am. If they see it, then they see it. It's as simple as that."

"I understand Jeffie, but it is complicated" Nick sighed as he pulled the tissue away. "You don't want me to get hurt, which I understand and I don't want you to get hurt. You can tell me you are used to it but I wont believe you. It's against the law, and if he does hit me… I will hit him back or let my parents know. You wont get in trouble, your dad will and it will be my fault not yours." Nick knew this wouldn't please Jeff, but it was true. "I don't care if he hits me, as long as I get in the way so he can't hit you." Nick didn't make eye contact. He stared at his arm and bit his bottom lip. Fighting back tears that hadn't even formed yet.

"He…oh alright I promise. But you have to promise me that you won't tell your parents. There's Devon to think about… Dad's all he has." he reached to brush away his boyfriends forming tears, "Kurt said his dad would set up a guest suit for me in the basement so I can crash there at weekends, I told him thanks, but I really need to be there for Dev. What do you think?"

"I know you need to be the for Dev, and Kurt was sweet to offer. I don't know." Nick genuinely didn't have a clue. he felt so dumb and weak for it. He couldn't even fight for his guy.

_~ That's right you little pussy, go cut yourself. ~__  
><em>

Nick never knew why, but when he couldn't think, insults would comeback to him from when he was younger.

~ _He can't even catch a ball, he will probably be homo when he is older. ~__  
><em>

"Jeff…?" Nick closed his eyes. "I think I _am_ messed up. I can't think."

Jeff worried his lip between his teeth again, like he always did when we wasn't

sure what to do, then he leant over and gently cupped his boyfriends face, and gazing straight into his eyes, he kissed him slowly and passionately, only stopping when he felt Nick relax.

"Any time you're stressed or upset, come and find me and do that, okay?"

"Looks like I will be with you forever" He joked, only just realising how serious he was. Why did he have to be the lunatic. It just didn't add up. "I love Jeff Sterling, more than life itself."

Jeff looked him over critically, "You're not mad, Nick. You can't beat yourself up for getting angry when people say horrible things about you. I do it too…"

Nick felt terrible, did he make Jeff feel bad? He slid his hand to the side of his thigh, punching it for doing something so stupid.  
>"I'm sorry Jeff. If I am pathetic or lame for saying this, but nothing makes me smile more then when I see you smiling next to me."<p>

Jeff caught hold of Nick's hands and held on tightly, "You're not pathetic or lame. And I love you Nicky, but if I catch you hurting yourself again there will be hell to pay. Got it?" Nick didn't answer, "I said_'got it'_Nick?"

"B-but what if I deserve it?" He replied making a mental not to finish it when he got to his dorm. It would probably bruised by then but that will show him to be pathetic.

Jeff looked down, "Nicky, would you say I ever deserve what Dad and Jake do to me?"

"No! Of course not! Why would anyone say that!" Nick wondered where this was going. There was no way perfect little, well not exactly little, Jeff deserved this.

"It's exactly the same thing, Nick." Jeff's voice was low and urgent, "Nothing you could ever do would warrant you hurting yourself. Would you like me to start cutting every time I upset someone?"

"Of course not…." Nick lowered his voice, he knew where this was going. Should he tell Jeff about that one time he cut his wrist when he made his first boyfriend cry? No! Now was not the time. he looked back to Jeff's eyes. He wanted to say sorry, but wasn't sure if he could.

"Nick… I'm not trying to be cruel, I'm trying to prove a point. If I have to I will hurt myself every time I find out you have. Okay? You deserve so much happiness, Nick. I love you so much. Don't destroy yourself over me." Jeff pulled his boyfriend into a bone crushing hug, forgetting his ribs, he whimpered in pain but he made no effort to let go.

Nick lay Jeff down, knowing that hug hurt him. He lay beside him and hugged the blonde lightly or a second, leaving his arm over Jeff's body.  
>"Don't hurt yourself and I'll try not to hurt myself"<p>

"Deal." Jeff smiled slightly and then turned to the side, breathing in Nick's scent, "Do you think Blaine would be disappointed in me? He was my first friend here before you transferred. Do you think he'd think I was being weak?"

"W-what do you mean? You don't exactly punch your leg to keep your thoughts at bay… What would make you weak?"

"For letting my dad and Jake do… what they do…"

"You aren't weak, they are dumb" Nick hoped Jeff understood. "You are amazing but they just can't see it"

Jeff shook his head, frustrated. "I should have stopped them. You'd have stopped them."

"I would have, but you don't have to. I will stop them every time, no matter what!" Nick moved his head and placed it softly on Jeff's arm. It was as far up as he could reach, why did he have to be short?

"I love you so much, Nicky... will you sing to me until I fall asleep?"

Nick nodded.  
><em>"If I lay here, If I just lay here. Would lie with me and just forget the world?"<em>_  
><em>Jeff was dosing off quickly. Nick got up slowly and headed for the door.  
><em>"Forget what we're told, before we get too old. Show me a garden that's bursting into life"<em>_  
><em>He sighed.  
><em>"Let's waste time….. Chasing cars"<em>_  
><em>Nick walked out of the room and back to his dorm to get some well needed sleep.

**Reviews = Love**


	8. Chapter 8

**AN/ Hey everybody! So, this is just a little fluff for you all (I think it's called fluff) and I hope you enjoy it! We don't own glee or Riker and Curt - If we did, Riker would be in my pants :D Happy Reading! - Chelsinator.**

**Remember - Mature themes which might me triggering (though not in this chapter)**

Nick woke up tucked in his corner as usual. He wasn't feeling too good. He choked out a cough before Trent came over.

"A-A-Are you alr-right?" he asked.

Nick tried breathing in, it was a little hard. His face was pale and darkness circled his eyes. He coughed again.

"I'm not feeling well Trent, could you call head office for me?"

Trent nodded and ran for the phone. Pinned to the wall was the number for front office nurse. At Dalton, it was mandatory for students to ring the office when they were ill, so they could be 'examined'.

"_Dalton Office, Ms Drury speaking."_

"H-Hello Ms, It's T-T-Trent Nixon. N-Nick Duval isn't w-w-well, h-he looks b-b-bad." Trent spoke, sounding a little worried for Nick. He is never sick.

"_Okay sweetie, Nurse Sheather is on her way."_

The lady hung up.

Trent walked over to Nick, who had managed to move a little closer to the other end of the bed, and spoke softly," S-S-She's c-coming up. I d-d-don't think y-you'll be in c-class today."

Nick tried to cough out a 'yes' or 'thank you' but couldn't manage that. He nodded politely and looked wide eyed as Trent was nice enough to fix his blanket up.

"M-My turn to l-l-look after y-you." He whispered before leaving for his first lesson.

**(************)**

It was half way through the day before Jeff realised that Nick was ill, they didn't have any classes together until after lunch, but walking into Geography and seeing he wasn't there shook him, instantly he turned to Trent, the teenager still hadn't stopped staring at him, even though he was now fully clothed. Jeff took a deep breath and urged himself to talk to him,

"Trent, honey? Where's Nick?"

"Ill." Trent murmured, "I c-called the nurse, he d-d-didn't look t-too g-good though…"

Jeff was already running, he reached his boyfriends dorm and flung open the door without knocking

Nick lay in the back in the corner of his bed, the way he always lay. His face was far more pale than that morning. He had no clue what could have caused the sickness but one thing is for sure, Nick was never sick. He knew Jeff entered but he felt bad he couldn't acknowledge it. He went to speak but coughed hoarsely instead. Jeff looked worried.

Stopping in his tracks when he saw just how ill Nick looked, Jeff bit his lip, "Nicky!" He breathed, instantly he crossed to the bed and sat down, smoothing sweaty hair away from him boyfriend's forehead and feeling his temperature, "You're burning up." He said matter of factly, "This is what you get for wandering around until midnight, in Ohio, in January, without a coat." He was stern but concerned, he pulled Nick back against his chest and started to hum soothingly, "I'm not going to class, Nicky. I'll stay here with you."

Nick tried shaking his head. If Jeff skipped class he would be in heaps of trouble. Nick couldn't speak but he hoped Jeff would understand. He wanted to be certain.  
>"Jeff…." He managed to cough out. "Please go to clas.s"<br>Nick tried rolling onto his back but half way around stopped to clutch his chest. His lungs felt like they were burning. He finished rolling an mouthed the word 'Please.'

Jeff rubbed Nick's back, shaking his head. "Shut up, Nick. You wouldn't leave me if I was like this and I'm not leaving you. It just feels like a fever, you should be fine in a day or so… Now go to sleep, it's the only thing that's going to help."

Jeff stroked his boyfriend's sodden hair as he starting singing softly, a lullaby that his mum used to sing to him when he was little.

Jeff was freezing compared to Nick. Nick felt like he was freezing to death and couldn't believe Jeff when he said he was burning up. He couldn't feel any warmth from the blanket, and found it hard to believe he was sweating. He was even shaking slightly. He closed his eyes and took a shuddering breath. He still felt terrible about Jeff skipping classes.

Jeff woke up when he heard knocking on the door and blearily looked at the clock, 6.45…. crap. He hadn't meant to fall asleep and now he'd missed Warblers. Getting up he moved to the door and stepped aside as Thad strode in.

"People covered for you in lessons today, they said you were ill." Jeff nodded his thanks and Thad carried on, "I don't give a damn about whether or not you miss school, Jeff, but if you miss Warbler's practice again I will hunt you down. Okay?"

Jeff nodded blankly, still not fully awake and Thad continued, "Good. Congrats on you two getting together by the way. Did he…. talk to you?"

Wrapping his arms protectively around his torso, the blonde Warbler nodded jerkily, "I don't want to talk about this, Thad. Sorry about Warblers… but Nicky's sick and I really should be looking after him so could you just…" He gestured vaguely to the door and Thad smiled.

"Alright, I'm going. Talk later, Jeff. You can both catch up on what you missed…"

Jeff practically pushed the council member out of the door and returned to his boyfriend's side, he felt his temperature… it was cooler, that was good. He was about to lie down again when Nick opened his eyes.

Nick blinked a few times to adjust to the light.

"Did you go to class?" He asked, his voice still not quite strong. He tried getting up but he didn't get far. He managed to pull himself into a sitting position without straining too much. He felt better, but not quite perfect. Jeff still hadn't replied. Nick thought it was because he didn't hear. "Did you go to class Jeff?" He said again, coughing a bit afterwards.

Jeff busied himself tidying the room, he heard Nick's question the first time but he was hesitant to answer. Nick was going to be pissed… When he heard the ill boy asked again he winced knowing he couldn't keep on ignoring him.  
>"No, Nicky. I told you that I wasn't."<p>

Nick fell back on the bed and laughed, "What am I gonna do with you?"  
>He rubbed his face and asked," Can you please help me up, my chest is killing me and I need a drink."<p>

Jeff was caught off guard, he burst out laughing and couldn't stop, chuckling as he helped his boyfriend into a sitting position and grabbed him a glass of water. He caught Nick's questioning look,

"It's nothing, I just thought you'd be mad. It's okay anyway, the Warblers covered for me, they told teachers I was ill. Thad's pissed we missed practice though… are you feeling any better?"

"I'm feeling much better. thank you."  
>Nick took as sip of water, which kind of hurt his throat. He scrunched his face up at how sore it was.<br>"Just because I am choosing to let it blow over, doesn't mean I am not mad."  
>Nick said. and it was true, he clearly would have gotten better and Jeff didn't have to stay. Still. He took another sip, but didn't scrunch his face, he had a feeling he would look funny if he did.<p>

Face falling, Jeff looked up, "I… I just wanted to look after you, Nicky…" He frowned, unsure why he felt like he was going to cry, when he spoke his voice was thick, "You'd have done the same for me… I was worried. I couldn't just sit in classes and wonder if you were okay. I've only just got you and-" He broke off, shaking his head he turned away from, Nick and wiped at his tears not wanting him to see, he grabbed a box of throat medicine from the first aid kit and passed it to Nick, "Here…"

"W-what? I don't need medicine, what is it for? I am fine." Nick said. He hated medicine. That is how he managed to stay well away from sicknesses. He looked at Jeff. Was he crying. Nick stood up, holding on to his chest, and gave Jeff a one armed hug.  
>"My throat is fine." Nick said hopefully able to reassure Jeff away from the medicine.<p>

Jeff leant into the warmth of the hug, but he was unimpressed, "You're lying. And if you don't take it then I'm hiding it in your food anyway," He held up one hand when Nick looked like he was going to protest, "Unless you want me to miss more days of school because somebody wouldn't take his medicine and get better?" Jeff chuckled slightly at the surprised look on his boyfriends face, "I've know you for nearly thirteen years, Nick. Did you really think I'd forget your strange aversion to medicine?"

Nick gave up. He refused to touch the stuff so he opened his mouth instead.  
>"Aaaaaaaaaaaah."<br>He smiled when Jeff actually gave him the medicine. The smile did last long, he scrunched up his face at the horrid taste.  
>"You just like seeing that face!" he said while actually wiping his tongue on his shirt, spitting stuff out when it cough material.<p>

Jeff laughed again, something he'd been doing a lot today and hadn't done in a while, and reached out to ruffle the dark hair, "I'm not going to lie, it is hilarious!" His voice softened, "But really, I just want you to get better. Is this going to teach you to at least take a coat next time you go for midnight wanderings?"

Nick smiled, "Yep!" He teased ,"I'll just hide the medicine." He could help but laugh at the look on his boyfriends face. He took his water and had one final sip.  
>"I didn't think I was a boring singer" He shook his head a Jeff's reaction. "You fell asleep to me singing, don't worry though. I am only mucking around."<p>

Jeff smiled, "Well you did exactly the same thing to me before so I guess we're even." He frowned slightly, "You should eat something! You haven't eaten anything all day!" He smacked his forehead hard and groaned, "I'm rubbish at taking care of you! What do you want? I'll go and make it now."

"It's alright, I don't feel like anything." he frowned a little. Now he was going to sound like he didn't want to eat anything because he would look like a pig. He had to admit, he was a bit bigger than Jeff in that way. He breathed out. "Could you just get me an apple, that's all I feel like."

Jeff nodded uncertainly, "If you're sure that's all that you want… I'll be right back."

Heading to the dorm Kitchen, Jeff realised that he hadn't actually eaten anything yet either, he shrugged, it wasn't going to do him any harm not to eat for a day and he didn't have time anyway. Snagging a Green Apple and a Red Apple from the fruit bowl he practically ran back to Nick's dorm throwing them both too him.

"Didn't know which you'd want, now eat." He urged, knowing he was mothering the ill boy but not seeming to be able to stop, "Now what do you want to do?"

"You should know I only eat green ones" he laughed, not actually taking a bite out of either. "I would like to cuddle but I don't want you to get sick". He thought long and hard about something decent to say to Jeff but there was nothing. He was still shaking a little bit but it was because he felt cold, it was actually kind of warm in the room  
>"Where's Trent?"<p>

Jeff reached out and started rolling the red apple between his hands, he wasn't eating either, "I don't know… He hasn't been back yet. Aaron probably took him back to his room." Jeff sighed, "We can cuddle you know, I held you all day while we were sleeping, I've probably already got whatever you do…"

"N-no… it's fine. Perhaps we should visit Thad, ask what we missed."  
>Nick felt bad now, he told Jeff not to cuddle. And the look on Jeff's face.<br>"Jeff….." he said before pulling the boy in for a hug. He rested he head on Jeff's chest. Another time it sucked to be shorter than him. He closed his eyes and listened to Jeff's heartbeat.

Jeff closed his eyes and breathed in Nick's scent, it instantly relaxed him, he should have known that Nick would want to hug him… he wondered briefly if he would always feel like this, like he wasn't good enough for Nick and one day he'd realise it and leave him alone… He shook his head to rid himself of the thoughts, but still couldn't quite.

"Let's wait until he comes back, you're still ill, you shouldn't be wandering around. Or singing actually." He paused, "I love you. Nicky."

"Are you okay Jeff?" Nick asked, worried for his boyfriend. When Nick asked that, Jeff's heartbeat fasten. "Settle down or you are gonna have a heart attack" He laughed, trying to lighten the mood. He sat Jeff down on the bed and knelt in front of him, resting on his knees.

Jeff looked into the warm concerned eyes of his boyfriend, but he couldn't hold the gaze for long. He looked down, his fists balled up in the sheets on the bed, it was a few moments before he spoke,

"Are you going to leave me, Nicky?"

Nick was shocked. Did Jeff really just ask him that?  
>"Never…." the words flew freely as if they were subconsciously practised. "How could I leave someone as fantastically brilliant as you for one day let alone forever?" He pulled Jeff's face up so he was eye height. "I promise, to love you, until the stars start falling."<br>He pulled Jeff in for another hug and kissed his neck.

Jeff moaned softly as Nick kissed a particularly sensitive part on his neck, then bit his lip, turning scarlet with embarrassment he looked into Nick's amused eyes,

"I… that was…" He ducked his head, "Sorry. I'll never leave you either it's just, I'd understand if you wanted a boyfriend who was less… I don't know-" He searched for the right word, "Damaged?" He winced, "Never mind. Come on let's go back to bed, I'm still knackered and I bet you are too."

Nick crawled into bed with Jeff and kissed the sensitive part again. Slowly falling asleep he whispered goodnight.

**Reviews = Love**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: **

**Hey everyone! Sorry this one took a while but it's out now! I hope you all like it.**

**As always mature themes which might be triggering, this chapter in particular includes a lot of homophobic language. And we don't own Glee or Curt or Riker :)**

**Enjoy!**

**Meiko.**

**(***********)**

Jeff stirred looking down, Nick was still sleeping, curl into his body heat, head on his chest one arm curled loosely around his waist, he smiled softly and pressed a short kiss to his forehead, pleased that it was pretty near a normal temperature. He turned to the side and saw a note from Thad pinned to the headboard,

_**Trent told us that Nick still looked sick and you looked tired, we're covering for you again. Better get your ass in school tomorrow though - Thad.**_

He laughed, careful not to wake Nick, suddenly the opening bars of "Uptown Girl" sounded and quickly found his phone, thankful that Nick wasn't awake to laugh at him for that being his ring tone. His eyes widened at the name on the caller display he quickly detangled himself from a still sleeping Nick and made his way to the small bathroom that Nick and Trent shared, with shaking hands he clicked answer.

"J-Jake?"

It didn't take Nick long to wake up and realise Jeff was gone. But where. He heard sounds coming from the bathroom. He made his way over and listened through the door. Jeff was on the phone … But to who? Nick heard Jeff's voice shake and suddenly he knew.

_"__Hello there little brother,"_ Jake's deadly smooth voice rang loud and clear over the phone,_"You know… my friends have been telling me some interesting things."_

"J-Jake, I'm at school just please, leave me alone okay? We can talk about anything this weekend. **_Please_**?" Jeff knew he was begging, and he hated it, but he didn't want to have to deal with anything now.

_"No, I don't think I will, Choir Boy because do you know what they told me?"_ Jeff froze, he knew exactly what they'd told him, _"They told me that they had a look at your tumblr page, and that somebody has a nice little boyfriend."_ His brothers voice grew louder, _"So I guess you really are a filthy fag, after all. I should come over there and beat the living shit out of you and that fucking cock-sucker. Don't you think you've embarrassed this family enough, it's fucking disgusting -"_

Jeff was crying in earnest now, unable to keep himself quiet, "Please Jake don't, stop it… I'm not… _Just stop it!_"

Without any further thought, Nick burst into the room and took the phone from Jeff. "What is your fucking problem?" He unnecessarily shouted.

_"Nick…? He's dating you? Wow, even more disappointing"_Jake said.

"Stop abusing Jeff or I will snap your fucking neck!" Nick knew he was getting angry and he really didn't want Jeff to hear, but this needed to be said.

Jeff was crying even harder now, Nick was going to get himself hurt, he could here Jake's sneering tone down the phone,

_"__What lies has my little brother been telling you, Nick? I should warn you, he's a liar, can't help himself really, it's terribly_**_sad._**_"_

The blonde Warbler froze, what if Nick believed him? What if he left him? He found himself curled into a ball on the floor, he couldn't stop crying, huge raking sobs took him over and he felt a gentle hand on his back, even as Nick raged on down the phone.

Nick hated himself right now. Jeff was crying harder. "Like I'd believe that. Jeff can barely speak when he is trying to lie. But you wouldn't know that because you're a fucking clueless dumbass and hate anyone clearly more intelligent than you." Nick swallowed hard. "If you lay another one of your grubby hands on my boyfriend you will gave to deal with me!" Nick voice was hurting from shouting but Jake needed to get the message.

Jeff was too far gone to hear what Nick was saying, his mind was trapped in beating after beating, he closed is eyes and all he could see were fists and boots coming towards him, the one voice that he couldn't tune out came cutting through his flashbacks, A cruel laugh,

_"Please Nicky,"_Jeff winced, Jake shouldn't get to call him that, _"I can do whatever the fuck I want to the little faggot and there's nothing you can do to stop me. Just wait until dad hears, he'll be very interested…" _

Jeff whimpered and if possible he curled in on himself even more, feeling the cuts tear open on his back and blood seep onto his shirt, he couldn't find it in him to care, he was too trapped in his own thoughts.

Nick grew cross. "If any of you fucking touch him again, I will personally kick your asses!"

He hung up before Jake could reply. His eyes widened as he saw Jeff. He instantly hugged the blonde, not caring for the blood staining his skin crimson. He felt Jeff tense up. "I'm sorry… He needed to…. I…." Nick could think of anything to say. He should have hung up straight away, instead he had practically stolen Jeff's phone.

Jeff stiffened in Nick's hold, his brain not letting him focus, all he knew was that someone had grabbed him, he couldn't concentrate on what Nick was saying. Scared he scrambled backwards, back himself up into a corner, hands up to protect his face,

"_No!_ Please no! Just stop it! Don't _hurt_ me any more!"

Nick cried, Jeff thought he was going to hit him.  
>"Jeffie it's me…" Nick started but it was no use. Nick started hitting his leg as he usually did, but this time he did it in the hopes Jeff would snap out of it an of catch him. Nothing so far. He started hitting his thigh harder than he ever had.<p>

Jeff couldn't, he was crying, he was shaking and the sound of a fist hitting flesh wasn't helping. However when he found no blows connecting with him he did regain some of his senses, he looked up and saw what Nick was doing.

"Nicky!" He flung himself into Nick's lap, turning his head into the crook of his panting boyfriend's neck, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry! Please forgive me, Nicky, please?"

Nick was a little upset that the only way he could get Jeff's attention was through self harm. He was a little worried he'd have to find a razor but was lucky. He didn't realise he was still hitting his thigh but he didn't care. Jeff was crying on him. He lifted one arm up and hugged the blonde. He pulled Jeff's face up and planted a kiss on his cheek.

"I didn't… I should have snapped out of it earlier, but it was like I was back there and all I could see was them hurting me and I could just hear his voice." Jeff shuddered and looked up, his eyes shining with tears and determination, "It wasn't you, I should have realised that. I shouldn't have let you…" He stopped, turning pale as he realised that his boyfriend had been hurting himself, he'd been hurting himself and it was his fault, "I'm going to be sick…" Lurching over the toilet bowl his stomach rejected the little it had eaten recently, he starting crying again, thin frame shaking, "I'm so sorry…"

Nick patted Jeff's back, "Don't be sorry, old habits die hard." Nick knew that if Jeff had been facing Nick, he would have a confused look. "I hit myself when I don't know what to do, when I am scared. None of this could ever be your fault." Nick squeezed his eyes shut. "I-I…." He started hitting his leg again but not as hard. "I don't want you to go home on the weekend. I'm scared things might be worse." Nick said, a tear betraying him.

Jeff winced, at both what Nick had admitted and what he'd suggested, he retched again and closed his eyes, when he spoke his voice was a little hoarse and still clogged with tears,

"I have to go back, at least for a little while, to see Dev. But then Kurt said he'd talked to his dad about me being able to stay there whenever I needed too…" He shuddered, "Besides, I don't really see how it could be worse."

"Jeff!" Nick cried, suppressing a shout. "I told them next time they touch you I would kick their asses." Nick felt ashamed but all was said in the heat of the moment.

Jeff shrugged, "That won't stop them, Nicky. They don't care, besides you could probably take Jake but my dad's different…" He sighed as Nick enveloped him in a hug, "I'll go back for a day, check on Dev and then go to Kurt's, if he doesn't mind… hopefully I can avoid them while I'm there, but if I can't -" He swallowed, worriedly, "If I don't, and they hurt me, I'll keep my phone on me so that I can call you, okay?"

Nick started crying. It was obvious Jeff didn't understand why, "I wish I could stand right next to you when you face them. So when they go to hit you, I could push you out of the road and let them hit me instead." Nick kissed Jeff, "Because I love you."

"I love you too, but I can't have you getting hurt because of me." Jeff pulled Nick in for another kiss, "But I promise I'll call you after… It might not happen, it doesn't always-" Jeff winced, knowing this was a lie, "I'm getting blood all over you…"

Nick frowned. No way was Jeff telling the truth. He tried to lighten the mood and laughed "We should probably have showers." He kissed Jeff again, this time going to that spot and nibbling on the skin a bit before kissing it.

Jeff moaned loader this time and he felt his legs turn to jelly, he held on around his boyfriend's neck tightly, when he spoke his voice was breathless, "You have no idea what you do to me, when you do that." he nipped affectionately on Nick's bottom lip, "Do you want the shower first? I can't be bothered to go to my dorm…"

_We could always have one together_…. _No Nick! Don't think like that. You don't want to go hard not now._  
>"Are you sure? You can have one here and borrow some clothes. I can imagine they'd be a bit short but…" Nick was rambling trying to suppress that thought.<p>

Jeff shrugged, "My pants are clean, and you're a bigger shirt size than me anyway… you actually have muscles." He blushed, "I'll just roll up the sleeves." Going to leave the bathroom, Jeff turned around, biting his lip nervously, "I … you didn't have to yell at him like that for me. But thank you."

Nick almost fainted at how sweet his boyfriend was. He hopped in the shower quick, not bothering to grab clothes. He'd get out and Jeff would hop in. After scrubbing for what seemed like hours, he walked out, wearing nothing but a towel.

Jeff froze as he stared at his boyfriend, towel slung low around his hips. He'd seen Nick half naked loads of times - the had been best friends since they were tiny - but he'd never seen him like this. He watched the lean muscles in his boyfriends back as he leant over to get some clothes from the dresser. Nick turned around and caught Jeff staring, he looked away, turning slowly scarlet, "Sorry…" He mumbled.

Nick was so embarrassed about Jeff's reaction. He walked over and handed Jeff his _'I love Bacon'_ shirt, trying hard to make his muscles unnoticed. It didn't help he had been working out lately. "Here." He whispered.

Jeff nodded and practically ran into the bathroom, slapping his forehead a few times _Stupid. Stupid. Stupid!_They'd been fine for years, why did he suddenly have to start acting like an idiot around him? He glanced at his phone which was still on the floor, one new message.

**Fr Jake**_**:**__ Better be prepared for this weekend little brother, we're going to teach you what happens to fudge packers in our family._

Jeff swallowed bile at the vile term, he knew this was probably going to be the worst beating he'd ever taken. He sighed, wondering if he should tell Nick about the message. After a quick shower he pulled on Nick's shirt and smiled, it smelled of him. Stepping out into the bedroom he saw Nick sat on the bed reading, he hadn't noticed him yet, taking a deep breath Jeff walked in, he was always bad at lying, if he tried to hide that text Nick would see straight through him.

Nick was reading the Chronicles if Vladimir Tod. He put his bookmark in and looked at Jeff, finding it hard to suppress a laugh. He stopped when Jeff wasn't laughing.  
>"Okay?"<p>

"Yeah! Absolutely fine!" He cursed the fact his voice went up an octave… why couldn't he just _lie_? He hoped Nick would let it drop, but he knew that he wouldn't clutching the phone like a life line he moved forward, "What are you reading?"

Nick smiled at his boyfriends interest.  
>"The Chronicles of Vladimir Tod. It's about a half teen half vampire going through high school. " Nick smiled , he is such a dork. He guessed Jeff hadn't noticed how tight his shirt looked which was good. Jeff acted a little differently earlier.<p>

Jeff relaxed, he headed towards the bed and curled up next to Nick, stealing the book so that he could read the back, he placed the phone down on the bed next to them, forgetting that the message was still up on the screen.

Nick looked down. He read the text, there and then. He lowered his gaze. "Jeff….."

Jeff hadn't noticed, he was engrossed in the back of the book, but he caught Nick's warning tone and looked up expectantly, "What, Nicky?"

Nick was tired. "Why does he hate you?" He asked resting his head on the taller boy. He was comfortable. He felt a spark of electricity run through him as his body bumped Jeff's arm.

Jeff sighed and stroked Nick's hair gently, "I told you, I'm too different. It's my own fault really, I never tried to fit in with them. He doesn't hate me I don't think… he just hates who I am."

"That must be hard." Nick was trying hard not to dose off in front of Jeff, but the blondes steady heartbeat was like a soothing lullaby. His eyes flickered as is tried keeping them open. He dragged an arm over Jeff and hugged the blonde close.

**Reviews = Love**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Hey guys, it's Chelsinator! I am so glad you are liking this and I hope you are as excited as we are for updates! **

**Also, if you guys could check out my demon!Nick niff called What's Become Of Me, be sure to leave a review!**

**As usual there is Mature content that may be triggering and we don't own glee or the boys**

**(********)**

The rest of the week went on slowly, Nick, when he wasn't getting kicked out of the usual lessons, was close to Jeff. Loving and ready to protect him. He knew what was coming… it was Friday afternoon. Jeff and Nick both stay over one last night before going home and most of Dalton was empty. Nick just hoped that Jeff didn't change his mind and leave earlier.

Jeff was sat with his back to the bed, a book open on his lap, but he wasn't reading it he was staring blankly ahead. Nick was lying stretched out on the bed above him, playing idly with his hair while he finished his homework. Jeff's phone went off and dejectedly he checked the screen, chuckling despite himself, Nick had changed his brother's name in his phone a couple of days ago,

_**Fr Asshole: **__See you tomorrow faggot. Hope you're looking forward to it as much as I am._

Jeff rubbed his eyes tiredly, he'd been getting at least one text a day like this.

"Jeff? What's the square root of pi?" he asked turning in his spot to face Jeff, "My calculator broke." He said with a playful puppy dog pout.

Jeff was tired, which was understandable. Tomorrow was going to suck.

"I nearly got suspended from my maths class today," Nick said, filling the other boy in because they didn't have maths together. He smiled weakly, he wanted to see Jeff's smirky grin or something remotely close. Was that selfish of him?

Jeff rubbed a hand weakly across his forehead but answered immediately without thinking,

"1,77245385… approximately." He looked up, his smile was weak, but it was there, "I don't know how you're still here sometimes. What did you do this time?"

He handed Nick the phone, they'd gotten into the habit of doing this in the past week. Nick didn't ask to see the messages, Jeff just handed him them and the dark haired Warbler made a few choice comments before deleting the vile words from his boyfriend's phone. Jeff liked this routine, it was nice to trust Nick so entirely.

Nick was so tempted to call Jake up there and then but for Jeff's sake he deleted the message as usual.

"Nothing too bad," Nick replied. It couldn't have been as bad as the time he _was_ suspended from Math. "I told the teacher I didn't understand it and he freaked at me for not raising my hand to tell him... so I told him to suck my dick." Nick laughed. He really hated math, he was actually really good at it and he could do a lot of the equations from the top class but Dalton thought it would be fun to keep him in the bottom. He handed the phone back to Jeff, "There you go" he smiled.

"Thank you," Jeff whispered putting his phone away, "I don't know how you can talk to teachers like that, Nicky. They're _teachers_! You can't tell a teacher to suck your dick!"

Jeff knew that he sounded like a nerd, and he must look hilarious as scandalised as he was, but he couldn't help it. He'd always been a bit anal when it came to his studies… not that he always got great marks, if anything he was failing Geography.

Nick rolled his eyes.  
>"You should have heard how he was talking to me!" Nick was serious. The man all but attacked Nick because he didn't raise his hand. "Besides I could have said what I said the first time." Nick laughed, it was true. He may have extended a bit on that.<p>

Jeff chuckled at the memory, it was infamous in Dalton history already, "There is that I suppose." He nuzzled his cheek into the soft, unconscious touch of his boyfriend, "What do you want to do tonight, Nicky?"

"Anything but math" he laughed leaning in for a kiss on Jeff's sweet soft lips. Kind of wishing his own lips weren't so dry. "I love you Jeffie" he whispered.

"I love you too."

Jeff still loved the thrill he got when he said those works, it was even better when he heard them, in the past week he and Nick had gotten some of the closeness back that had been lost in the awkward transition between best friend and boyfriend and he loved it. The Warblers had all been really happy for them - Sebastian being the notable exception - and it had just been a genuinely good week, terrifying texts aside…

"I'll tell you what, I'll do you a deal. You do my Geography homework and I'll do your math?"

"Deal." Nick smiled. He was top of the class in Geography.

He moved his mouth to that spot on Jeff's neck. He just loved the little sounds Jeff made.

"Nick!" Jeff yelped, it still always took him by surprise when Nick did that, and it annoyed Jeff immeasurably that he hadn't managed to find Nick's weak spot yet, "Nicky! If you keep up like that we'll never get our homework done!"

He smiled. He kind of felt bad that Jeff didn't know his 'weak spot'.

"Jeff… I am not sure I have a spot like you….. Does that make weird?" He fiddled with his hands. "Yeah, homework…"

Jeff smiled softly, "You'll have one. We just haven't found it yet, that's all." He ran his hand down his boyfriends face gently, "Which is probably a good thing because it means I can't embarrass you in public like you do to me all the time!" He leant in again and peppered soft kisses along his boyfriends jaw line before capturing his lips in a passionate kiss. "What time are you going home tomorrow?"

Every kiss gave Nick butterflies, but how could it not? Jeff was perfect. "I'm going in the afternoon, I promised David I would wait with him. You?" he asked leaning in and sliding his tongue into Jeff's mouth, searching the half familiar zone.

Jeff pulled away panting slightly, "Morning. Dad's more likely to be at work…" He paused, allowing himself to think about things he'd been repressing all week, "You'll keep your phone on you, right?"

"Everyday, every minute. I wont sleep or eat or drink until you I have heard from you and know you're okay." He placed a sweet kiss on Jeff's nose and hugged him warmly, he could feel Jeff's breath on him and it gave him Goosebumps.

"That's just stupid." Jeff mumbled against his boyfriend's shoulder, "You need to eat and drink…" He paused, "I'll text you as often as I can… if I stop texting then you'll know why. But you're not to come to the house until I text you saying the coast is clear, okay?" Nick didn't answer, just tightened his grip, "Okay, Nicky?"

"How can I promise something that would kill me?" Nick hugged harder onto his boyfriend, he would have to hug his phone for a while. Nick tried changing the subject.  
>"Where are your geography papers?"<p>

"Nicky!" Jeff clutched onto his boyfriend, his voice rising in desperation, "Nicky please! I can't deal with you getting hurt too! Nick, I'm scared. Please promise me?"

Nick looked at Jeff with teary eyes  
>"I promise.." he whispered so soft Jeff had to strain to hear. He put his cheek next to Jeff's, feeling the urge to kiss him in the spot. He didn't because Jeff seemed to not like it.<p>

Jeff stretched his neck slightly, hoping fervently that Nick would take the hint. It might embarrass him no end when Nick made him moan in public, but Jeff loved the way Nick could make him feel with just one little kiss.

Nick smiled. He moved his mouth to the small part of Jeff's neck and peppered kisses on the spot. He bit down a little bit and sucked softly, flicking his tongue across the surface.

Jeff couldn't help himself, he threw back his head and moaned loudly, sinking to the bed when his legs gave out, running a hand down Nick's back he tugged him closer and pulled him in for a deep kiss, both boys fighting to control it. He pulled away and grinned sheepishly.

"I think you just gave me my first hicky, Nick." He laughed, "Trying to mark me as your own?" He teased softly, his eyes showing that he was only joking.

"I think you will always be mine, you know… the way your legs practically gave out and all" he laughed. "I wish you knew where my spot was, it is so much fun hearing you moan," he said, not actually realising what he said. "Shit, sorry…. I… U-uh"

Jeff laughed and captured the older Warbler's face in his hands, cupping it gently, "Nick, honey, we're dating you're allowed to say stuff like that." He blushed as a thought occurred to him and cleared his throat, "Besides… maybe… maybe your spot is in - areas we haven't explored yet?"

Nick's eyes widened.  
>"I-I…..U-uh. W-we…. eh" Nick was lost for words, they have never actually discussed, the unexplored.<p>

Jeff found himself getting more and more flustered, colour rushing to his face, "I'm not…! I mean I don't…! I'm not saying that we need to explore those places now! I was just…" He bit his lip hard and tasted blood from the almost healed cut, "Sorry, that was awkward…"

Nick pulled out a tissue, he seemed to carry them more often. He fanned it gently on Jeff's cut. "We aren't ready yet."

Jeff nodded earnestly, "I know that!" His eyes were pleading, "You know that I know that … it was just a stupid comment that's all."

Nick felt bad. Everything was awkward now. He worried his lips between his teeth.  
>"I love you Jeffie." he said. Genuine live in his voice.<p>

Jeff smiled, "And I love you." He kissed him softly, "But now you'd better get back to your dorm before curfew. Will I…" He paused, uncertain, "Will I see you tomorrow morning before I head h- off?" He'd almost said home, but he couldn't bring himself to.

"I certainly hope so. " he whispered, standing up slowly. "Bye Jeffie" he kissed goodbye and started leaving.

"Nick!" Jeff called, he watched his boyfriend turn around expectantly, "I… I mean how badly do you think…" He paused, "How badly do you think it'll hurt?"

Nick clenched his fist. "Unfortunately it could hurt a lot." He hated himself for saying it.  
>"Hopefully ill be able to make sure it never hurts again."<p>

Jeff nodded nervously, not even scolding Nick for thinking like that, like he normally did, he'd just needed to hear the words, "Okay… Night, Nicky. I love you."

Nick sighed. "Goodnight Jeffie. Sleep well." he said blowing a kiss to his boyfriend as he walked out the door.

Jeff gave a hollow laugh as he was left alone in his room. That was likely.

As it was he lay tossed and turned until nearly seven in the morning, his alarm went off at nine… Just as he was getting out of the shower, he heard a soft knock on his door. He looked at himself quickly in the mirror, he'd been very careful not to let Nick see his chest after that first time, but his bruises were yellow in some places now, fading in others, his cuts starting to heal. All in all he looked a little better. Pulling on a pair of bright green skinny jeans he answered the door to his concerned boyfriend.

Nick hugged Jeff instantly.  
>"I want you to be safe… And I want you to..." Nick took off his favourite ring and handed it to Jeff. He placed it in Jeff's palm and closed his fingers over, lacing their hands together. "I want you to have it… For luck" he whispered.<p>

Jeff closed his fist over it, knowing it would never fit him he took off the Necklace that Nick had given him on that first day, that he hadn't taken off yet and slipped the ring onto the chain. He kissed Nick, almost desperately,

"Thank you, sweet." He gestured to his bed, "Do you want to sit down? I'm not ready to leave yet."

Nick nodded. He couldn't find anything to say. He was scared for Jeff but did everything in his power not to hit himself. He sat with Jeff and hugged the boy as if he were facing his destiny.

Jeff finished packing his bag and looked at himself in the mirror, bright green skinny jeans, baggy black and bright pink T-Shirt… pretty standard for him, he'd always dressed like this, but now he looked in the mirror and it just screamed flamboyant.. he hesitated, trying to decide whether to change but he decided against it. It was going to happen no matter what. Finally finished he went to sit next to Nick on the bed, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. "I suppose I'd better go." He brushed away the hair on his forehead, trying to hide his trembling hands but he knew Nick had seen them.

Nick took hold of Jeff's hands and laced their fingers. He tried to hide how much he was shaking.  
>"I had a nightmare last night. You didn't call me and….." Nick started tearing up.<br>"Please keep in touch!" He said kissing his boyfriend a warm and unwanted goodbye.

Jeff kissed back forcefully, his tears falling on Nick's cheek, "I'll text you for as long as I can." He promised, "I love you, so much." They got up and walked into the car lot, Jeff climbed into his baby and blew on last kiss to Nick before he drove away.

**Reviews = Love**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Okay... so I know people are worried about Jeff, so I apologise in advance for this chapter. Another texting interlude... I'll get chapter twelve up either later today or tomorrow! **

**Mature themes that may be triggering as always, and we don't own the boys!  
><strong>

**Meiko x**

**_(**********)_**

**_To Nicky:_**_I just got back. No ones here, it's sort of creepy_

**To Jeffie:** Are you okay? I wish I could come over, but I promised David Sorry.

**_To Nicky:_**_I know, it's a good thing that no ones here though right?_

**To Jeffie:** I suppose, just. Text me when someone gets there.

**_To Nicky:_**_Maybe no one will come home all weekend, they could have gone on a business trip and not told me._

**To Jeffie:** Lets hope so. My parents told me they were going to give me a bit of an allowance, would you like to go to BreadStix some time with me?

**_To Nicky:_**_Can they... Nick don't get mad at me for asking, but are you sure they can afford it?_

**To Jeffie:** I told them a billion times not to give me money. It was for them. They refuse and I.. I wanted to take you on a... date...

**_To Nicky:_**_That would be nice, we've never been out on a date before... they trashed my room. My stuffs everywhere. Well they trashed my side of the room. Jake's is fine._

**To Jeffie:** Oh god, is anything broken?

**_To Nicky:_**_A few photo frames, the one of me and you. The one of my mom. They smashed my mirror. Wrote things on the walls. Any clothes that I left here are trashed. I'm guessing it was Jake. Dad would never do this to his precious house._

**To Jeffie:** I am so sorry! Fuck! Do you want me to come round and help clean it up? David wont mind.

**_To Nicky:_**_Maybe later. I'm still on edge that someone's going to come home. Besides you promised David. We're going to have to go clothes shopping though, I don't have an awful lot at Dalton._

**To Jeffie:** If I could Jeff, I would by you some now, but I would have to cancel the date. We could always have a romantic candle lit dinner in my room.

**_To Nicky:_**_Don't worry about it, you don't need to buy me anything. I have enough to last me through until I can get to the mall. You're coming with me though, you know I hate clothes shopping by myself. Give me ten, I just stepped in glass._

**To Jeffie:** Do you want me to come around? Seriously! David wont mind and you are going to need help.

**_To Nicky:_**_No I'm fine, I just underestimated how much glass there was._

**_To Nicky:_**_I just heard the front door slam..._

**To Jeffie:** Don't let them hurt you !

_*************** 30 minutes later ***************_

**_To Nicky:_**_Nick... I need you. Can you come and get me please?_

**To Jeffie:** I'm on my way!

**Reviews = Love**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Okay guys, this one is serious. Major warnings for homophobic language AND physical abuse. If you are triggered easily, I suggest taking caution whilst reading. We don't own Glee or the guys** **- Chelsinator**

**(***************)**

Jeff sat slumped against the wall in his bedroom, he tried to call Nick but he couldn't find the energy instead he just sent him a hurried text. If he closed his eyes all he could see were the kicks and blows and all hear could here were the vile names he was being called.

It hadn't been so bad until they'd started insulting Nick, and then he'd blown. Quiet mild mannered Jeff had burst, yelling at them, venting all of the anger that he'd held in for so many years - and he'd paid for it.

One of his eyes was so swollen he could barely see out of it, his lip was re-split and blood poured from him nose, he had one arm cradled protectively towards his chest, obviously broken. He suspected a couple of his ribs were cracked, they were certainly bruised, and his groin hurt from the repeated kicks his brother had sent home there,

**"****_Let's see you shove this up your boyfriends ass when I'm done with it!" _**

His father had stood back and watched for the most part, making cutting comments, but the few hits he had got him had done considerable damage.

Miserably Jeff looked around his room, at the vile words daubed on his wall in red paint, The glass and shredded clothing all over the floor. His dad had left shortly after, telling him that until he came to his senses he wasn't his son any more. Devon had never come home and Jeff suspected he'd been sent to a friends house. Jake was still somewhere in the house and that terrified Jeff - he should never have asked Nick to come when he could still be in danger, but he needed him so much right now.

**(****************)**

Nick hurried into his car on receiving the text, David understood. He was one of the most supportive people of their relationship. Sebastian was in the room when Nick explained Jeff was hurt. All he said was he tripped and hurt himself, he just needs a hand. He didn't go in depth but Sebastian just laughed. He drove faster than really necessary, surprised he didn't get pulled over. He stopped at Jeff's house. He breathed in. He saw movement in the house but it was too short to be Jeff.  
>"Jake…" he whispered.<p>

Nick ran to the door, not bothering to knock.

"What is your problem!" he shouted at Jake, who was luckily in the same room.

"Aww, Did Jeff need a fwend? Fucking pussy!" Jake shouted in return.

Nick ran up to Jake and pulled him by his shirt, his fist ready to make contact.

"He's not worth it you know…" Jake trailed on.

"Shut up!" Nick shouted.

"Heh, he's pathetic, spineless and worthless. Not even worth his fathers love" Jake snickered.

"Shut the fuck up!" Nick shouted, finally punching Jake fair in the face.

"Well…. You're quite tough for a fag!" Jake replied to the punch, wiping blood from his lip.

**(*****************)**

Jeff heard the front door slam again and groaned, then he heard yelling and hurt as he was a shock of panic went through him, he tried to get up, but he couldn't even start too, only having one hand to balance on and his ribs and groin screaming in protest. So he tried to cry out, but that hurt too much too, finally he grabbed his phone and sent out a quick text, hoping that Nicky still had his on him.

**To Nicky:** _Careful. I'm in my room when you can get here._

Jake advanced on Nick. He punched the younger boy in the gut and threw him against the wall. Nick gasped for air. This was no time to stop, throwing another punch Nick stuck Jake in the stomach. He slid down the wall and coughed.

"This stupid world should be free of gays. It's not natural, you are a freak," Jake whispered into Nick's ear. Nick took this as an advantage and punched Jake in the face again.

"You should hear my catch phrase" Nick laughed kicking Jake. As he ran up to Jeff's room he screamed, "Suck my dick!"

It didn't take him long to reach Jeff but when he did, he was shocked. Tears started falling freely and his unsteady breathing made him hiccup.

Jeff looked up to see his boyfriend standing in the doorway, knuckles bleeding. Crying. He tried to push himself up again but instead curled in on himself letting out a sharp cry of pain,

"Nicky." He whimpered, softly, brokenly.

Nick didn't hesitate. "This is going to hurt Jeffie, but I have to do it." He whispered gently. He put one arm under Jeff's legs and the other under his arm. Jeff needed to get out of here. He cursed himself when Jeff cried in pain. He lifted the taller boy up off the floor and whispered, "Come on.".

It would only be a matter of time until Jake got up so they had to leave quickly. Nick struggled a little, carrying Jeff, but he had to do it. He slowly made his way to his car, Jeff still in hand.

Jeff whimpered as pain shot through him, it was everywhere. He buried his head in Nick's shoulder, crying louder as they passed Jake,

_"__Running away fag? Remember what dad said!"_

Painful sobs racked his broken body as he cried solidly on his boyfriend, soaking the shoulder of his shirt quickly.

Nick sat Jeff in the car, apologizing when Jeff winced. He hopped in the other side and helped Jeff with his seat belt. He sat down for a while before driving off.

"Sorry…" he whispered. He started the car and realised, Jeff's necklace and his ring were gone. He breathed in harshly, pain in his stomach. It was surely to leave a mark tomorrow. He looked at Jeff, he was barely conscious. Nick started driving off slowly, making his way to his own house.

"Sorry… I'm so sorry Nicky." Jeff felt himself slipping out consciousness, the only thing on his mind was apologising. He felt like such a failure, such a burden. "Please don't hate me," He mumbled feverishly, "I love you so much."

Nick couldn't help but cry at that, "Just rest Jeff, I love you too."

Nick reached his house. _Should he take Jeff to the hospital? Would he appreciate it or hate it?_ He would hate himself either way. He stayed in the car in his driveway with Jeff. He was hitting his leg hard, and feel asleep in the car with Jeff.

Jeff fell into a feverish sleep. When he woke up again, Nick was fast asleep next to him, his hand grasped in Jeff's good one. A surge of pain went through Jeff and he gritted his teeth to keep from crying out. His head felt a little less fuzzy now but he was seriously hurt. At least his arm and … he blushed just thinking about it, his _groin,_needed attention. Probably his ribs too… he was reluctant to wake Nick but he couldn't see an option so extracting his hand he raised his arm painfully and shook his boyfriends should gently,

"Nick! _Nicky!_" He rasped out, as loudly as he could.

Nick awoke slowly, looking up at Jeff.

"Shit! Jeff, the hospital." Nick shouted. He would have taken Jeff if he hadn't been so indecisive. His hands fumbled as he turned the keys in ignition.

Jeff smiled softly, "Thank you, Nicky." He winced at the movement talking was giving his ribs, "Thank you for saving me."

"Thank you for letting me." He whispered. It didn't take long to get to the hospital, Jeff went in straight away, no delays. Nick wasn't allowed in though and it was killing him. He waited in a chair tapping his leg gently with his fist.

Soon enough nurse came out and looked at him gently, "Are you Mr Duval?" Nick nodded jerkily, "Jeff tells me that his family's away. And you are listed as emergency contact on his forms for while he's at school…" She sat down next to him, "Now Jeff tells me he was mugged, is that correct?" She didn't wait for him to respond, "There is heavy bruising on his groin area, consistent with being beaten with a blunt object, Jeff wasn't really in a fit state to tell us anything but in this case we'd presume he was most likely kicked repeatedly," She took a deep breath and carried on, not waiting for a response, "Almost all of Jeff's ribs are bruised and two of them are cracked, we've strapped him up for that. He has a hair line fracture on his left wrist and we've put that in plaster for him. I know the bruising on his face looks bad but it's largely superficial. He's going to need a fair bit of help in these next few days, walking is going to be very painful for him what with the damage to his ribs and groin but he should really be doing it to help strengthen himself. Don't let him do anything too strenuous." She looked at him sternly, "Now. Would you like to see him?"

Nick nodded he was lost for words. He followed her into a room where Jeff was laying on a hospital bed, his eyes were shut and he was presumably sleeping.

"I'll let you wake him up" she said kindly leaving the room.

Nick didn't know what to say, so he sung instead.  
><em>"Watch them fall, to their knees. As I lay I think I'm flat lining."<em> He breathed. Tears falling from his eyes,_" Watch them fall, thick as thieves. As I lay i think I'm flat lining."_

Jeff moved slightly, clearly causing pain.

_"Sorrow wait until tomorrow, hold me close never go, know that I would die for you. I'm so insane, I still feel the sharp pain running down my spine boy, know that I would die for you"_

_At the last line Jeff woke up._

The blonde opened one of his dark eyes, staring blurrily at Nick, he was topless with crisp white bandages wrapped all around his torso, his arm was in a bright blue cast which he'd already decided he wanted people to write on in gold. He could only see through one eye the other one was practically swollen shut,

"Hey there. I'm sorry for scaring you…"

Nick looked up happy for Jeff to wake up, but one question clouded his mind.  
>"He hit you…. there….?" He started to shake.<p>

Jeff looked into Nick's concerned eyes, honestly confused. Where did he mean? Jeff couldn't think of a place he hadn't been hit…

"Where, Nicky?"

Nick swallowed the lump in his throat, embarrassed about saying it. Instead, he moved his hand down to his pants and sort of cupped it.  
>"….Here…." he said, not making eye contact.<p>

"Oh!" Jeff looked down, ashamed, "Yeah… That was Jake, and he kicked me actually. Something about not being able to," He gulped and worded it more delicately than his brother, "Initiate anal sex, if it didn't work…" His eyes snapped up, "They took my necklace and your ring! I'm so sorry, Nicky. Dad said he didn't want his son wearing faggy jewellery, I think they knew they were from you… but the second they let me out of here, I'll go to the mall and I'll buy you a new ring, I promise. I'm so, so sorry!"

Nick shook his head, "Don't worry." He sat at the end of the bed. "You're allowed to leave, but I don't want you to spend your money on me. You need more clothes" Nick took off his necklace and out it on Jeff. "D-do, you need help up… does it hurt?" He cursed under his breath at the stupid question. Of course it hurt, the few blows he got still hurt.

Jeff shook his head, but then tried to stand and yelped, glancing apologetically at Nick,

"Yeah… but it's nothing, I can't handle. What about you? I heard you fighting with Jake… what did he do to you?"

"Jeff let me help," Nick said putting Jeff's arm over his shoulder.

"He hit me here," Nick said, placing a hand softly on his gut, it hurt. He winced a little but hoped Jeff didn't notice. "And he kicked me and slammed me in the wall. But I am fine" that was a lie. Nick was hurting, not just from the damage Jake caused in him, but the damage Jake caused on Jeff.

Jeff gasped, it was one thing to hurt him, it was completely another to lay a hand on his boyfriend, "Do you need anything? Because I could get that nurse in here…" He closed his eyes, "Jake actually only really did the kicking." He admitted, "It was my dad who rearranged my face and broke my arm…" He stood up, leaning heavily on Nick, his legs shook beneath him but he was able to edge forward slightly, "Nick what am I going to do?" He asked softly, tears pooling, "Most of my clothes were in that room, and I don't think I'm up to buying new ones right now… I just want to go back to Dalton."

Nick nodded, "I'll tell my parents I will be boarding this weekend. Trent is gone so you can stay in my dorm with me, I'll sleep on the floor if I have to," Nick knew Jeff wouldn't like it but he was in no shape to share a bed. "I'll help you shower, I'll lend you some of my baggier clothes and I'l bring you ice for your… w-when you need it."  
>He helped Jeff walk to the door and sat him down while he went to reception. He used the money his parents gave him to pay for it and helped Jeff up again.<br>"Let's go." he whispered. "Hospitals creep me out."

"You didn't have to pay for that," Jeff sighed, panting heavily front the effort of just walking to the car, "I could have got it! Nick… I think I'm going to have to start boarding permanently at Dalton, at least until dad calms down and I can try to talk to him." Nick helped him into the car and turned to stare at him incredulously.

"It would be cheaper on you if you stayed at my house…." Nick started. _Wait? What did Jeff say?_ "You aren't seriously thinking of going back?" Nick was dumbfounded. He sighed, "Come one, let's get you back to Dalton so you can have a shower.

Jeff looked down sadly, "He's my dad… and I don't want to burden myself on your family. They have enough troubles at the minute without…" He stopped, eyes wide, "Nick! What the hell are we going to tell the Warblers?"

Nick started driving off. "I-I don't know… what did you tell the nurse?"  
>Nick was thinking, he honestly couldn't remember. "Also, are you comfortable with me helping you. Like places in the shower?"<p>

Jeff blushed, "That I was mugged… I couldn't tell the truth, but you know what the Warblers are like, they're so overprotective! And I can't lie for the life of me.." He sat for a second thinking about his boyfriends question, "I'm not… I wish that the first time you saw me naked didn't have to be because none of me works. But it can't be helped and I don't think I'd be able to do it myself." Silent tears ran down his face.

"Broken and battered, your still gorgeous to me Jeff," Nick smiled. "I can help you lie to the Warblers and, you need the help. It might be embarrassing but if it helps, the shower in my dorm is huge. I'll have one with you so you aren't alone in there to hurt yourself" Nick frowned a little, but now wasn't the time to feel self conscious.

They pulled into the parking lot of the almost empty school. Nick helped Jeff to his dorm with a bit of trouble. Only because of stairs.

Nick help to lower Jeff gently down on the bed and forced him to lie down, Jeff lay there looking at the ceiling, his chest feeling like it was on fire. He was angry at himself, angry at his brother and his dad, angry at his mom for leaving him there. He coughed, convulsing as his cracked and bruised ribs screamed in protest,

"I'm sorry for getting you dragged into all of this, Nicky." He forced out, "And I'm sorry for letting them hurt me…"

Nick looked about to say something but there were interrupted by a knock on the door. Nick opened the door slightly and David barged in.

"Dude I saw your car, everything oka-" he didn't finish when he saw Jeff, "W-…..W-wha-"

"He was mugged." There, Nick lied as simple as that. He. Was. Mugged.

"Now isn't exactly a good time, perhaps you could come around later, or even call?"

David got the picture and left. Nick looked at Jeff who still had a bit of blood on him.

"Come on, you have to shower eventually" he said, tired in his voice.

Jeff nodded, a couple of tears slipping out, "Everyone's going to know by tonight." He whispered, "I love David, but you know that he can't keep a secret of the life of him."

Nick helped Jeff to the bathroom and both boys simply stood there, looking at each other, neither sure what to do. Jeff sighed slightly and leaned heavily against the wall.

"The doctors said I need to take all my bandages off and then reapply them after showering, you'll need to do that, also I need to tape a plastic bag around my cast or something," He paused, when he spoke his voice was softer, sweeter, "Nicky… I'm not going to lie to you, the bruising is a million times worse than the last time, it's not going to be easy for you to see. Are you sure you can handle it… because I can probably just about manage it on my own?" His shaking legs were betraying his own words.

Nick shook his head. "We're in this together, I see your bruises…. and you see mine…" By the looks of it Jeff didn't understand. Nick walked towards Jeff and slipped his hands under his shirt. Lifting it slowly above Jeff's head he said, "My thighs are usually covered."

Jeff's shirt was completely off and Nick had to look away, biting back tears. He left the room for a short moment and brought some clothes for both of them and a plastic bag.

"Jeff, I want you to put your arms on my shoulders…" Jeff did as he was told while Nick fiddled with his pants. Soon Jeff's pants were pooling at his ankles and he was in nothing but underwear.

"They're next, " He whispered, allowing Jeff to get used to it, Nick took his shirt off too. Hesitating before taking his pants off. Where Jake hit Nick on his stomach was bruised, and the self-harm Nick caused himself was too. "You ready..?"

Jeff couldn't look at Nick's bruises without wanting to kill himself for not stopping it, those his brother had done and those he'd done himself. Nick already looked like he was going to cry or kill someone from just seeing his chest, so Jeff couldn't imagine how he was going to react in a minute, the bruising underneath his boxers was, to put too finer point on it, horrific - it also made peeing extremely painful, he'd narrowly avoided having to have a catheter fitted - He looked away from Nick and nodded his consent, tears flowing freely down his face.

Nick bent down in front of the blonde, preparing for the worst. He slid Jeff's boxers down as slowly and painlessly as possible. It wasn't enough, he felt Jeff tense up. It looked horribly painful, Nick looked away.

"A-and he did it to stop you " He swallowed the lump in his throat ," stop you from having sex with me?"

Nick helped Jeff lift his legs up and out of his pants. Standing up and turning around, he pulled his pants down, ashamed of what Jeff might think of it. He turned back around and took Jeff's arm so he could put the plastic on it. He then moved to the bandages. He sighed.

Jeff kept on crying, so ashamed, "He did it, so that I couldn't have sex with anyone if it wasn't a woman," He sniffed, "Oh Nicky I'm so sorry. I'm sorry you have to see me like this, I'm _disgusting_… And you," He took a deep breath, but he couldn't stop the tears from falling, "You're so beautiful, I'd understand you know," He saw Nick's confused look and clarified himself, "If you wanted to leave me. I'd understand…"

Nick didn't want to hear this. He pulled Nick in for a soft hug and walked him into the shower. After Nick made certain Jeff was all cleaned up, he helped him get dressed.  
>"You'll get the bed tonight." he said ,"You know how Trent is with his bed, so I will sleep on the floor." He breathed in and helped Jeff over to his bed.<p>

"Nicky, no!" Jeff tried to protest, "You're hurt too, I can sleep on the floor, it's fine, honestly."

Nick laid Jeff down. "No, you are in no state to share a bed. The floor is fine Jeff, and that's that!" He softened his tone a bit, "Would you like anything to eat or drink?"

Jeff frowned, he hadn't actually eaten or drank anything all day now that he came to think of it, but he really didn't want to. The pain was intense and he couldn't take an of his meds for at least another two hours, he shook his head, "I'm not hungry, thank you." He said in a small voice, hoping Nick wouldn't realise how long it have been since he'd eaten and drank. Nick's phone started ringing, a glance at the screen told them it was David. They should have expected it. Loud mouth he may be, but he was the oldest Warbler now and he saw them all as surrogate little brothers.

Nick didn't want to answer but the look Jeff gave him made him pick up.

"Yea, he-…. He's getting there." Nick said.

A pause.

"I promise I will look after him," His voice was subtle and soft until - "I wasn't intent on doing _that_ to him anyway!" Nick shouted. He was pretty sure Jeff could hear the laughing from the other end of the phone.

Jeff giggled slightly, wincing at the pain, he held out his hand for the phone, turning pleading eyes on his boyfriend gave him a disapproving look, rolling his eyes and pressing a quick kiss to Jeff's forehead, Nick passed him the phone,

"Hi David, it's me."

_"__Jeff! God mate are you alright? You looked awful! What did they do to you?"_

"David calm down, it's really not that bad." Jeff ignored an incredulous snort from next to him, "Cracked and bruised ribs, broken arm, bruising of the face…" He purposely left out the other area, not wanting to have to explain it.

_"__Shit man… do you know who did it? Cause no one hurts a Warbler, you know that right?"_

"I…no, David. It was just some guys, I'm pretty tired… could I maybe-" He trailed off and heard David chuckle softly,

_"__Yeah of course Jeff, I'll check in on you both tomorrow okay? Get some rest and pass me back to Nick,"_ Jeff did as he was told, and heard the gentle mumble of David talking to Nick, _"Thad's going to be pissed off if you two miss more rehearsals man…" _

"I-I know, I wont miss any, but Jeff… he… Thad needs to understand that Jeff needs rest. I will try my hardest not to miss any but if Jeff needs me he needs me. If walking out on the Warblers to help a friend could mean losing my position, I should quit now." Nick had a tired look on his face.

_"Man, Thad will be fine with it, he only kids. I'll let you go, you sound as if you need just as much rest."_

"Bye."

Nick turned to Jeff who was sprawled across his single bed, and sighed. "Do you need some ice for your…." Nick didn't want to finish. Why did this make him so uncomfortable, he had one too and he has seen Sebastian's before.

Jeff bit his lip, wincing harshly as he pulled on the stitches, finally he shook his head. "No I'm alright… Nicky? If you have to sleep on the floor could you sleep close to the best so that I can reach down and hold your hand?" He blushed, "I mean… I understand if that's a really uncomfortable position, it's just I… I'm scared that I'll have nightmares and I need you there…. you can say no, it's okay."

"Of course I will hold your hand." he whispered. He didn't bother to grab a pillow or blanket. He lay down next to Jeff who was on the bed and held his hand tight.  
>"I love you Jeffie Bear" he spoke softly and lovingly.<p>

Jeff smiled softly as Nick used the name he hadn't heard since he was about seven, "Love you too." He yawned, "I hope that things look better in the morning."

"As do I." Nick replied, crying himself to sleep.

**Reviews = Love**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Here you go guys, sorry it's a little later than I promised, hope you enjoy it now.**

**Mature themes that may trigger, this one has homophobic language and some (almost) smut. And the boys and Glee still don't belong to us!**

**Meiko x**

**(**********************)**

**Dear:**_ Nick and Jeff _

**You are invited to attend a Warbler party. You don't need to bring anything but yourselves.**

**Where:**_ Warbler Practise Hall_

**When:**_Tomorrow_

**Time:**_6pm _

**There will be alcohol at this party!**

**From:**_Thad and David_

Today was the day. Big Warbler party. A bunch of drunken musicians nothing more. It had been at least a month since the 'accident' - as Nick liked to call it - had happened. Jeff was taking it well, he was walking almost perfectly now and the blonde really wanted to go to this party. He wanted to get drunk and forget all his troubles. How could Nick refuse that? Though he had vowed not to drink as much, the last time he drank too much he'd nearly had sex with Sebastian, and Seb was going to be there. At least if he kept his senses he would be fine.

_Four o clock__  
><em>

They still had a few hours to get ready.  
>"Jeff, remember." Nick started, kissing his boyfriend playfully on the lips, "As soon as you want to go, let me know and we will go to your dorm. Trent wont like us crashing in mine tonight as he isn't going."<br>Nick kissed Jeff again, why was he so freaking beautiful.  
>Lately Nick had found himself having to leave the room because of certain things Jeff did. And then there was that dream. But Nick didn't want to think about it. Tonight was going to be fun.<p>

Jeff frowned, "But I don't want to go early," He sighed, "I'm finally off those killer pain meds and clear to drink…" He paused, conveniently ignoring the fact that it was still illegal for him to drink anything, "I just want to go to this party with the guys and forget that I was ever 'the one that got beaten up by his dad' okay Nicky?"

"I understand Jeff, I just don't want you leaving alone." Nick smile at his boy friend, "So that's why you should let me know." He place a kiss on Jeff's cheek and offered a smile.  
>"I don't plan on drinking much anyway."<p>

Jeff cocked his head confused, "How come?" He asked quietly, "You've always drank at Warbler parties before… and you know that they'll just start playing spin the bottle… and that's only fun drunk."

Jeff grinned and pulled his boyfriend in for a deep kiss, "Besides, I'll embarrass myself if I get pissed and you're sober."

Nick laughed. "It can't be as bad as Voldemort's potato." Nick smiled. That was partially the reason. "Besides, I just don't feel like drinking."

Jeff chuckled, tucking himself into his boyfriend's side and giving him a one armed hug, "There is that. And it's your choice, Nicky, I just thought that maybe you'd want to is all." Jeff fidgeted, trying desperately to get comfortable, the bandages on his ribs had finally been removed and the bruising around his groin had diminished if not gone completely, but he was stuck with the cast (now adorned with all of the Warblers signatures and a special message from Nick, in gold pen) for another two weeks or so, "I can't wait to get this stupid thing off!" He whined quietly.

Nick grinned sneaking a glance at the clock. They were getting closer.  
>"You will feel like a totally different person." He smiled. "You have to ask if you can keep what I wrote."<p>

Jeff smiled down at it and traced his finger over the words lightly, "As if I wouldn't." He said softly, he bit his lip, bringing up the conversation that was sure to rile Nick up, it always did, "Nicky… I know that you don't want to talk about it… but don't you think I should try talking to my dad and Jake? I mean I'm better now… they-" he broke off, not quite believing it himself, "They wouldn't hurt me again."

Nick looked at the floor, smile dropping slightly.  
>"Maybe someday." He whispered, not able to bring himself to look at the blonde. He took another look at the clock and realised the time. "We should be going." He smiled.<p>

Jeff pushed himself upright with his good arm but he was frowning, Nick wouldn't even discuss it. Jeff understood that he wanted to protect him but he could make his own decisions too… but thinking about it Jeff couldn't blame Nicky for being how he was, the blonde Warbler wasn't sure what he'd have done or how he'd have coped had he found his boyfriend in the state Jeff had been in.

"Okay…"He murmured, holding out his hand for Nick, "Ready?"

**(************)**

As they entered the Warblers Lounge, Jeff couldn't help but choke out a laugh, for a bunch of supposedly straight (with some notable exceptions) boys, they certainly knew how to throw a good "girls night". Sleeping bags almost covered the floor, except for a section left out to be "the dance floor", tons of junk food had been placed around the room and a karaoke machine was set up in the corner. Piles and piles of alcohol were on a table in the corner and Jeff wondered - as he always did at these parties - how they had managed to acquire it.

David was already topless and belting out "Cry me a River" on the Karaoke machine… Jeff suspected that the oldest Warbler had started drinking a while ago. Most of the other boys were dotted around the room. Sebastian looked away when they walked in. He hadn't talked to Jeff other to make scathing comments since he heard that Jeff and Nick were together and after the supposed "mugging" he was the only Warbler who hadn't been outraged, stating simply that Jeff clearly didn't know how to take care of himself. He'd been quickly shouted down by both Nick, and surprisingly Thad, who Jeff suspected didn't believe the cover story.

All of the Warblers had been more protective of Jeff since the incident and it could get a bit stifling. He was glad for a night to relax and enjoy himself.

Thad came walking up to them and offered them both a drink. Nick had to accept - it was the first drink of the night, though probably the only one he would drink - and turned to Jeff.  
>"Shall we join the crowd?" he asked, taking a sip and realised that the concoction would most likely be almost entirely vodka with a tiny bit of whatever else they could get in it.<p>

Jeff took a sip of his drink and winced, too sober to deal with the shear amount of alcohol in it just yet, he nodded but moved a little closer than completely necessary to Nick. Since the incident, Jeff just hadn't felt as comfortable around large groups of people, he was more jumpy, less trusting. He hated it, but he turned to Nick to get him through. The first week he'd had back at Dalton had been a shaky one, but he was slowly getting through it. He knocked back his drink and grabbed onto his boyfriend's arm ,a little tighter than he needed to.

"Sure," he smiled, "Let's go."

Nick smiled a little, at the thought that Jeff trusted him. Thad came back up to the boys and nudged Nick. "Don't Rain On My Parade is on the karaoke machine" He said.  
>Nick's face grew red with embarrassment. After Thad caught Nick singing it, he never let him live it down. He pushed Thad playfully and pulled Jeff along to go talk to Aaron and Flint.<p>

Jeff stood trying to take in what Flint and Aaron were saying, but he couldn't help staring at his boyfriend. He looked so confident and natural when he was singing, it was really beautiful. And even belting out Barbra (which wasn't normally his style) he was amazing. He didn't realise he'd completely tuned out until Flint nudged him, smirking knowingly,

"Dude, we were talking to you here! Stare at your boyfriend in your own time." He handed Jeff another cup, "Drink up."

Jeff downed it and winced.

Nick smiled softly. Jeff was going to be totally out of it before spin the bottle, which to Nick's surprise, actually wasn't being played yet. Nick leaned over and placed a kiss the side of Jeff's mouth and cheek, smiling into it.

Jeff caught Nick's cheek as he pulled away, pulling him into a deep passionate kiss, he didn't pull away when the Warblers (led by David) started catcalling and whistling but then he heard a snide comment.

"Oh please." It was Sebastian, "We don't want to see it. Besides, Nick and I both know no one can top my kisses." He winked, he was clearly a little drunk.

Jeff pulled away sharply and looked down at his knees, obviously embarrassed, he saw a warm hand squeeze his knee and he looked up to Nick glaring furiously at Sebastian, though a little flushed himself.

Nick opened his mouth to say something to Sebastian but quickly shut his mouth.  
>"There's always spin the bottle, give everyone a chance at your so called amazing kisses" Nick held Jeff's knee. He glared at Seb then turned back to kiss Jeff again, biting softly on Jeff's bottom lip.<p>

Jeff had to fight hard to not lose himself in the kiss, he still wasn't drunk enough that he could make out with his boyfriend in front of everyone and not get embarrassed. He downed what was about his fifth drink and ignored the slightly worried look that Nick sent him. Thad had set up Spin the Bottle in the meantime, he turned to Sebastian, eyebrow raised - Thad had never liked Sebastian.

"Go on then." He challenged, "You think you're so amazing, you can go first."

Everyone sat around the area, Jeff and Nick having to sit separately. They weren't allowed to kiss unless the bottle landed on them. Sebastian spun the bottle and it did in fact, land on Jeff. Nick didn't want to watch.

"Prepare to be amazed, Jeff." He snickered.

Jeff winced, and closed his eyes, waiting for the inevitable, sure enough Sebastian's lips soon hit his own, they were colder than Nick's and had a slight taste of smoke … interesting, he hadn't known Sebastian smoked … it wasn't _bad_ it just wasn't _Nick_. Suddenly he felt a tongue snake in and he pushed Sebastian hard away with his good arm,

"No tongue the first time! You know the rules!" He hissed angrily.

Nick's gaze hardened on Sebastian.

"Settle petal," Seb said laughing, "We all know you enjoyed it"

Nick sat, a million things running through his mind. Did Jeff find out Seb smokes? Would he know that Nick tried a cigarette? Everything in his mind cleared as Jeff spun the bottle.

Still glaring at Sebastian Jeff spun the bottle lightly, slightly nervous, this room was full of boys who were practically his brothers, it was just _weird_. Slowly it landed on David who smiled gently and opened his arms to Jeff, crawling across the circle, a little awkwardly with his broken wrist, Jeff found himself in front of David. He leant in and the kiss was short and gentle, David seeming to guess how nervous, Jeff was. Jeff returned to his part of the sofa and threw a small smile at Nick.

Nick smiled back softly. Everyone seemed to have spun the bottle but Nick now. Jeff had downed god knows how many drinks now and Nick wondered how it was possible he was still awake. Jeff was definitely more alive now. He didn't care who the bottle landed on and he wasn't nervous. Finally, Thad spun the bottle, and it landed on Nick. Thad came forward, before Nick could even process it landed on him, and placed his lips to Nick's. They were soft, warm and welcoming. There was no way Thad could be straight after this kiss, it was amazing. But he was drunk. Nick found himself kissing back, but he couldn't help it.. They weren't as good as Jeff's kisses but they were a close second, tied with Sebastian's kisses.

Jeff watched his boyfriend make out with someone right in front of him and he couldn't quite believe it. Well no actually scratch that, he _could_ believe it. Jeff had been wondering - especially lately - how Nick put up with him. He was needy, he was snappy sometimes and he was just downright damaged, but Nick always assured him that he loved him, and only him. Yet here he was kissing someone else, passionately. Of course Nick would want someone as gorgeous and well rounded as Thad, it made perfect sense, he sat there frozen until Sebastian leant over, smirking cruelly,

"Looks like you've been replaced Jeffie boy. How does it feel?"

That was the last straw for Jeff, he stumbled backwards, landing on his bad arm with a cry, which pulled Nick and Thad away from their kiss, he locked eyes with his boyfriend for a second, tears pouring down his face, before he got up and ran for his dorm, ignoring David's cries for him to wait. Nick hadn't said anything.

"Jeff!" Nick cried. Standing up he was ready to chase after Jeff until Sebastian got in his way. He leaned in slightly and said,

"Come on Nicky, you want me back so lets just make out." Leaning in more so their lips were almost touching, Sebastian put his hands on Nicks butt.

"Fuck off!" Nick shouted pushing Sebastian away and running out the door to try and find Jeff. _You're such an idiot! You don't deserve Jeff!_ Hot tears streamed down his face as he saw Jeff sitting against a wall near his dorm.

Jeff ran, how could he be so stupid to think that Nick would actually want him, nearing his down room he stumbled and fell, not having the energy to get up his just crawled towards the wall. His head was spinning and his heart felt broken. He started slamming his back repeatedly into the wall without thinking, aggravating healing wounds,

"Stupid. You completely fucking idiot of course he doesn't want you! How could he want you when he could have Thad? Or Sebastian…." he hissed to himself, keeping slamming his back against the wall, tears flowing freely down his face. He didn't notice when Nick came into view.

"Jeff!" Nick shouted seeing his boyfriend throwing his back against the wall. He ran towards the blonde and put his arm between Jeff's back and the wall. He cried out in pain as his hand was pressed hard between the two. Jeff stopped and Nick pulled his hand out.  
>"Jeffie, I am so fucking sorry, I-I" Nick looked pathetic. he felt it too, how could he do that to Jeff. His arm throbbing in pain he finished his sentence, "I'm an idiot and… I understand if you want to break up with me. I am the worst boyfriend ever."<p>

"_No!_ I don't want to break up with you!" Jeff buried his face in his knees and sobbed, loudly "I just _knew_ I wasn't good enough for you. Why would you kiss Thad like that Nicky? I know it's just a game but that… that wasn't playing and you _enjoyed_ it. You didn't even care that I was there. You didn't hear what Sebastian said to me…" He bit his lip and when he spoke again it was soft, lost, almost broken, "Don't you love me any more?"

Nick pulled Jeff in for a hug. "I will always love you. I can't think of anyway to make this up to you Jeff, but I want to do anything I can to do that!"

Jeff nuzzled his nose to Nick's, "Sebastian said you'd replaced me." He whispered, the blonde thought for half a second, he didn't want to do this. He wasn't ready and he was scared. But he was so scared that he knew he'd never be able to do it sober and maybe Nick wouldn't replace him if he gave him his. Before Nick had a chance to respond Jeff kissed him, more passionately than he ever had before. He pulled the two of them up with surprising strength considering he only had one working arm and pushing Nicky backwards into his dorm - kissing all the while. He gently steering his shocked boyfriend towards the bed and straddled him, undoing his shirt slowly while he kissed him, he moved his mouth down, trailing soft kisses past his ear and down his browned neck. Peppering them across his muscled chest until he reached a place just above his boyfriend's left nipple. Keeping his good hand stroking the brunettes collar bone and his bad one resting to one side he began to lap at this place gently suckling. He was rewarded with a high keening noise followed by a wanton moan and his boyfriends hips bucking. Jeff looked up, eyes wide and innocent, looking somehow so young considering what he'd just been doing.

"Nicky… I think we found your spot!" He smiled.

Nick could barely process what was happening but he definitely enjoyed that spot. What was Jeff up to? His mind was seriously stuck. He had no clue what was happening but he was sweating and his pants got slightly tighter. He nodded and ran his hands up under Jeff's shirt. _What are you doing? You don't want this! Or do you?_

Jeff paused slightly, unsure. He didn't want this. He wasn't ready for this. This is was terrifying even as drunk as he was. But surely, Nick wanted it? And that was all that mattered, his hands crept down and tentatively he cupped his boyfriends erection through his jeans - something that they'd never done before. He felt Nick's hands reach for his ass and then squeeze. That's what made him stop.

"N-Nicky? Do you want this?" He realised that he hadn't even asked. He was such a horrible person…

Nick's eyes snapped open at the question.  
>"I….." He swallowed the lump in his throat, "Only if you do." He whispered. An apologetic gaze on his face. Nick did want this, at least he thought he did. But he knew Jeff was so innocent and he definitely didn't want to push him. It still was an awkward topic for Nick too.<p>

Jeff's eyes filled with tears and his face fell as he sat up and rocked back on Nick's hips,

"I love you so much Nicky… and I want this I really do. But I don't want to do it when I'm drunk. I want it to be romantic and gentle." He sniffed and rubbed at his eyes, he was sobering up a little now, "I'm sorry, Nicky, please don't be mad. I thought I could do it. I thought it was what you wanted… and I didn't want you to replace me like Sebastian said…"

Tears streamed down Nick's face and he pushed Jeff off of him and ran for the bathroom and shut the door behind him. He cried in there, hugging himself. His boyfriend tried to have sex with him so that he wouldn't lose him.

"I would never do that," he called through sobs. He was starting to shake a little now. He wasn't feeling well. Lately when he drinks alcohol, he nearly has sex with people. He felt terrible. He made out with Thad, and he couldn't deny it. It wasn't just a kiss, it was almost intimate. He just screwed everything up. "You don't have to have sex just because I want to." He said his voice more soft now. "I will wait until it is romantic and everything is fine. Not when your doing it so I will love you."

Jeff followed his boyfriend and sat on the floor with his head leant against the bathroom door, "I'm sorry," He called softly through it, "I'm so sorry, Nicky. I shouldn't have started that if I wasn't sure I could follow through…" He took a deep breath, "I've just… I've never been in a serious relationship with anyone before and I've never been in a relationship at all with a guy. I don't know what I'm doing, Nick. And I thought it was what you wanted," he was crying again, "I'd understand if you don't want to be with me any more." Silence, "Nick? Please come out?"

Nick slid the door open. He was a mess. his hair was knotty from running had through it, his face was red from crying and he was breathing heavily. "Every time I drink, I do stupid things. I nearly have sex and one time I….." Nick stopped himself. "I hate it but one time I tried a cigarette…."

Nick had been so good, he hadn't hit his leg since Jeff was abused last. But that was over. He started hitting his leg hard and said " I don't want you to have sex with me because you think I don't love you. Ever. We both know that isn't true. I will never stop loving you." Nick saw Jeff's gaze go down and he instantly covered his still hard cock. Embarrassed that Jeff hadn't been turned on in the heat of the moment and he had.

Jeff looked up at his boyfriend and caught his hand before it hit his thigh again, he pulled Nick down so that he was sat opposite him, "I know, Nicky. I was stupid. We've both…" He gulped, "We've both done stupid things tonight, can we just forget it and move on?" He pressed a light kiss to Nick's forehead, "I've tried smoking before too, Nick. I didn't tell you because I thought you'd be mad. But I stole some of Jakes, I thought it might make me feel good." Jeff looked down at Nick's lap and blushed. "…mine diminished significantly while I was crying through the door," he whispered, "Just as well really, don't know what I'd have done otherwise." He didn't meet Nick's eyes.

Nick rubbed his eyes tiredly.  
>"I should probably have a shower and….." Nick's hands went to cover his bulge, as an attempt to explain what he needed to do. He shook again. That unwell feeling growing back to him and he ran to the toilet, posed over it, nothing happening.<p>

Jeff followed Nick, and rubbed his back gently, "I'm sorry… I'd offer to take care of it for you but I… well I…" He closed his eyes, "Just not tonight. You can shower here if you like," He paused and bit his lip, uncertain, "Will you stay here with me tonight?"

Nick started crying. Why couldn't he just throw up already. This was a terrible feeling. He nodded in response to Jeff.  
>"I have boxer shorts on for tonight." He said, remembering he promised Trent he wouldn't be home tonight. Suddenly, Nick grasped the side of the toilet and threw up. He was gross, he would have to wash his mouth out a billion times before he thought of kissing Jeff again. "You don't have to worry about it…" he said ,"I will get rid of it like the other times." Jeff gave Nick a confused look and Nick realised what he had said. He hadn't told Jeff about how much Jeff turned him on.<p>

"Oh," Jeff murmured quietly, "I didn't realise I… in fact I thought that I didn't…"

He couldn't finish his sentence, honestly he'd thought Nick wasn't turned on by him at all, all it took for Jeff to get hard was for Nick to kiss his neck. That was a danger zone because on more than one occasion it had led to… well, it had ended things prematurely that was for sure. But Jeff hadn't thought he had that effect on Nick at all.

"I'm sorry…"

Retreating from the toilet bowl Nick said "Don't be sorry… I-I have to have shower now, it's getting a little uncomfortable." He said not making eye contact. He was going to have to do a good job at not moaning Jeff's name while he released himself as usual.  
>"I guess we know where my spot is now." he offered a smile as he looked at his chest where a small purple mark appeared.<p>

Jeff gave his boyfriend a sheepish grin and darting in to kiss his cheek, "Guess so. So tonight wasn't a total bust!" He stepped out of the bathroom, "See you in a minute babe, I'm getting into bed." He blew Nick a kiss and then closed the bathroom door before pulling off his shirt and going to inspect the damage he'd done to his back earlier in the mirror. He sighed, he was such an idiot.

Nick really needed this shower. He flinched a little when the water pelted on his arm. He almost forgot he put it between Jeff and the wall. He brushed it off and…. began… He started to masturbate, thinking purely of Jeff. The way he smiled and the way he attacked that spot. It didn't take him too long to get rid of the burden, he tried desperately not to moan Jeff's name, but he wasn't sure he succeeded. He hopped out of the shower and changed into just his boxer shorts. His leg starting to bruise already from tonight. Water still dripped from his hair onto his body. He looked at Jeff and instantly worried about his back.

Jeff caught sight of his boyfriends leg over his shoulder and his face fell, "Oh, Nicky. You didn't?" He bit his lip, "Do you remember what I told you I'd do?"

Nick was stuck, he genuinely didn't remember he shook his head. Choosing not to speak, knowing the only words that would come out would be about Jeff's back.

Jeff bit his lip, not wanting to do this to his already hurt body but not wanting to go back on his word, he looked at Nick, his eyes full of only love, when he spoke his voice was gentle, "I told you that every time you hurt yourself that I would hurt myself, so that eventually you'd stop." Still worrying his lip between his teeth, Jeff took both his fists and drove them into his stomach before Nick could stop him.

"_JEFF!"_ Nick screamed as his boyfriend fell to the floor. Tears falling back down Nicks face. His breathing picked up and he was positive if he kept breathing like this he would faint. He knew the cast on Jeff's arm would have added pain. "Don't _ever_ do that again!" He cried.

Jeff looked up at Nick through his eyelashes weakly, and smiled slightly, "I won't if you don't." He wheezed, his breath knocked out of him for a second, "That was the deal remember?"

Nick backed to the corner and sat down, his legs giving up on him. He was shaking uncontrollably. He pulled his legs up to his face - something he hadn't done in ages - and cried into his knees. Not sobbed, but full on cried.  
>"I'm so sorry!" He cried. He thought back the urge to hit himself because he knew what would happen.<p>

"Honey…"Jeff dragged himself towards his crying boyfriend and slung his good arm around his shoulders, wincing, "You don't need to be sorry. I did this to myself, but you need to understand that I need you to stop. And I _know_ you, I know that you won't stop hurting yourself, they only way you'll stop is if it's hurting me." Jeff kissed his soft hair, "I don't mind getting hurt, if it keeps you safe."

This didn't help Nick in the slightest. Of course he was going to hurt himself again. It doesn't take him long, but he always does. He always hits himself on the leg though. It was a force of habit since a young age. Perhaps he would have to find a new way. Of course he could always stop.  
>"I'm such a hypocrite, I tell you not to hurt yourself. And then I hurt myself. Please, I - you don't need to keep me safe. I have done it since I was young. And…." He moved in to kiss Jeff. "It hurts me more when you hurt yourself because of me."<p>

"Nick…" Jeff's voice cracked, "That fact that you've been doing this for years without me knowing makes it even worse. I don't want to hurt myself but I don't want you hurt either and if this is the only way then I really don't give a shit!" Jeff kissed him sweetly, to soften the blow of his words, "I do need to keep you safe. In exactly the same way you're so damn overprotective of me. See?"

Nick wove his hands through his hair and tugged slightly after hearing his boyfriend's words. He winced a little but hope Jeff would think it accidental. He didn't say anything. He kissed Jeff, slowly making his way to Jeff's spot. He wanted to lighten the mood for Jeff. He kissed it, then bit a little on the spot. Working it with his teeth.

Jeff moaned loudly, calling his boyfriends name, but Nick refused to stop, all too soon, Jeff's toes curled and he felt his senses take over. His eyes blacked out for a second and when he came around he looked down and then looked away from Nick, face bright red,

"Well," He sighed, "That's embarrassing."

Nick sucked hard on the spot. "Paybacks a bitch" He whispered pointing to his spot. Completely shocked when Jeff leant forward and placed a kiss there.

"I'm just glad that I found it…" Jeff whispered, "I thought that I didn't make you feel… you know?" He looked down, "I should take a shower now, this is hardly comfortable." Jeff sighed and stared at his favourite pair of bright blue skinnys, "I liked these pants too…"

Nick nodded. "I'm gonna go lay down." he said, kissing his boyfriend passionately on the lips before getting up.

Jeff smiled and headed for the shower, cleaning himself thoroughly and changing into a clean pair of boxers, he roughly towel dried his blonde hair and then slipped into bed next to Nick, pressing his cold feet against Nick's warm legs to warm them up.

Nick hugged onto Jeff… resting his head on Jeff's chest. "Please sleep well Jeffie Bear. He whispered.

Jeff sighed, "I'll do my best, babe. Love you."

***  
><em>Jeff was sat in Warbler practice, his head spinning, Thad was talking about something or other and everyone was singing, suddenly he turned around and Nick was in the corner, having sex with Sebastian, Jeff screamed and both boys turned to look at him, carrying on with what they were doing. Sebastian sneered at him.<em>

_"__What, Jeffie boy? Watching how a real man does it? You wouldn't have the first idea. You're pathetic. A little boy who isn't old enough to play with men."_

_"__No! Nicky! Nicky tell him you're in love with me! Tell him!"_

_Nick, looked at Jeff, his eyes blank and emotionless, "Why would I do that? You were fun Jeff, but now I'm done with you. What would I want with someone as needy and hideous and damaged as you?" He laughed coldly, "Get lost, will you? Go somewhere you're wanted."_

_The scene dissolved around Jeff and suddenly he was in his room, blows raining down on him, he couldn't escape, he couldn't run,_

_"__-faggot-"_

_"-you're pathetic-"_

_"__-fucking cocksucker-"_

_"__-not old enough to play with real men-"_

_"__-fudge packer-"_

_"__-needy-"_

_"__-lets's see you stick it up his ass now-"_

_"__-hideous-"_

_"__-scream, go on. Scream like a pretty little girl -"_

_"__-damaged-"_

"STOP!" Jeff sat up in bed, shaking uncontrollably, his hair sticking to him, his whole body shiny with a sheen of sweat, tears running down his face. Why couldn't he stop shaking?

Nick awoke to movement and a loud shout.  
>"Are you okay Jeffie?" He asked almost instantly as he opened his eyes. The state before him was heart breaking. Nick put his hand on Jeff's shoulder but Jeff hopped out of the bed.<p>

Jeff backed himself into a corner, the force of shaking was actually starting to hurt, "Don't. I'm fine. I'm fine. Fine. I promise I'm fine. Just go back to sleep Nicky, I'll be okay."

"Now you're not fine.. What happened?" He asked. His heart was now racing.  
>Jeff didn't budge<br>"Jeff tell me what fucking happened?" He cried.

Jeff sank to his knees and gripped his head in his good hand, "You were… we were in Warblers and you have having sex with Sebastian and he told me I was pathetic and not enough of a man for you. And… and I begged you to tell him that you loved me. But you said that you didn't, that…that you were done with me and I was hideous and d-d-d-damaged. And then I was as home and Dad and Jake were hurting me, and they w-were saying things. Vile things. And they were just going round and round in m-my head and I c-c-couldn't stop them and I didn't have you and I was s-s-so scared, Nicky! Make it stop Nicky, get those things out of my head!"

Nick was mortified. he couldn't picture those words coming out of his mouth. There was only one we he knew that would cheer Jeff up but it was hardly the time. He walked to Jeff and wrapped his arms around him. Letting out a sob when Jeff flinched.  
>"You don't really think I would say that do you?" he asked.<p>

Sobbing, Jeff shook his head, "No. It was j-just so real. And hearing you s-s-saying all the things that I think about myself hurt. I know it was just a dream. God." He hissed, rubbing furiously at his eyes, hurting them a little, "I'm such an idiot!"

Nick shook his head, "You are just scared"  
>Nick couldn't think of anything to say, so he sung.<br>_" Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry_

_You don't know how lovely you are_

_I had to find you_  
><em>Tell you I need you<em>  
><em>Tell you I set you apart<em>

_Tell me your secrets _  
><em>And ask me your questions<em>  
><em>Oh, lets go back to the start<em>

_Running in circles_  
><em>Coming up tails<em>  
><em>Heads on a science apart.<em>

_Nobody said it was easy_  
><em>It's such a shame for us to part<em>  
><em>Nobody said it was easy<em>  
><em>No one ever said it would be this hard<em>

_Oh, take me back to the start."_

He placed a kiss on Jeff's cheek.  
>"I love you more than you could ever imagine Jeff!"<p>

Jeff curled himself into Nick's arms, sobs quietening slightly, "I love you too, Nicky. Never leave me okay?"

Nick stood up and led Jeff to his dorm. Jeff clearly confused. Nick picked up a box that contained jewellery in it. He pulled out a ring that was too big for him. He put his hand out asking for Jeff's finger.  
>"In giving you this ring, I promise to never leave you."<p>

Jeff's eyes filled with tears and he kissed Nick, passionately, "But… I don't have anything to give you!"

"Just your love" Nick smiled. He took Jeff by the hand and led him to his bed. Nick's bed was much smaller than Jeff's. Jeff was already half asleep when they got to the bed so Nick placed him gently on there, taking residence on the floor. He took hold of Jeff's hand and whispered "Goodnight my dear."

**Reviews = Love.**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Hey everyone, it's Chelsinator! This is just an easy going chapter and I hope you enjoy it! We don't own Glee or the boys and some chapters contain Mature content that may be triggering. BE SURE TO REVIEW :D**

**(********************)**

Jeff stirred in his sleep and rolled over, nearly falling off the bed. He'd forgotten that they'd moved to Nick's room, he peered over the edge of the bed at his still sleeping boyfriend on the floor and leaned down to brush a soft kiss to his forehead. When Nick still didn't wake up, Jeff grabbed his phone.

**_6 Missed Calls:_**  
><strong>David (3)<strong>

**Thad (2)**

**Aaron (1)**

**_2 SMS_**

**Fr Thad:** _Jeff, bud we need to talk. I'm so, so sorry for last night. I don't know what happened! Meet later and talk it out? I hope you and Nick are okay…_

**Fr Sebastian:** _So. David said I had to apologise to you both, it's not like I said anything that wasn't true but whatevs. Talk next time I see you, 'kay? Say hi to Nicky boy for me ;P_

Warm arms wrapped themselves around Jeff's waist from behind and he handed his boyfriend his phone.

"I don't know what to say to them…"

Nick closed his eyes. He had completely forgotten what he had done with Thad.  
>"The best you can do is talk to them." Nick placed a kiss on Jeff's shoulder.<p>

Jeff wrapped his good arm around himself protectively, still shaken from his nightmare in the night. He was normally so forgiving… normally the pushover of the group…

"W-what if I don't want to, Nicky. He _kissed_ you. And you know what Sebastian said to me…"

"I-I Know Jeff. But please try to keep in mind. Everyone was under the influence of alcohol. And I kissed Thad back." Nick shuddered, he only had one drink that night too.

Jeff bit his lip and thought for a minute, Thad had always been a good friend and he really didn't want to lose him over this, he nodded slowly, "I'll talk to Thad… but I don't want to speak to Sebastian. He isn't sorry, Nicky. You _know _he isn't."

Nick closed his eyes and thought for a minute. "I can speak to him if you like?" Nick said.  
>Nick looked down at Jeff's hand and almost forgot the ring he placed on one of Jeff's beautiful fingers. He blushed slightly.<p>

Jeff sighed and looked down at the ring, smiling as he spun it around, "You don't have to do that. He just doesn't like me for whatever reason… I'm just getting a little sick of his sarcastic comments." Suddenly Jeff blushed, remembering something, "Oh God…" He groaned, "Last night! I - I mean I tried to…" Colour drained from his face, "God… I'm so sorry Nicky!"

Nick cupped Jeff's face.  
>"We just weren't ready." He said, placing a gentle kiss on Jeff's nose he then placed their cheeks together. "We'll know when we are ready…" He whispered.<p>

Jeff's breathing slowed down and he nodded, glad Nick wasn't mad at him, he looked down at his phone screen and tapped out a message to Thad.

**To Thad:** _I'm not angry, I'm just confused. What was that Thad? I'll meet you later for coffee._

Jeff looked up at Nicky questioningly, "Does that sound okay?"

Nick nodded. Of course it was okay. "It's fine. Do you have a hangover at all? You drank a lot."

Jeff rubbed at his temples and nodded irritably, "My stomachs fine, but I've got a killer headache, I didn't get much sleep. I probably deserve it though… I did some ridiculous things last night. Did I -" A though suddenly occurred to him, "Did I hurt your arm yesterday?"

Nick forgot all about it. It wasn't insanely sore but it hurt a bit. Nick believed it was the way he was laying until Jeff reminded him. He nodded. "But it's alright now." He said.

Jeff groaned again and hid his head in Nick's shoulder, "I'm sorry, Nicky… I didn't mean to. God, I was _horrible_ yesterday." He sat down on the bed, taking Nicky with him, and curled up under the covers with him, bodies pressed close together to fit in the single bed, "I don't know how you put up with me…"

"You completed me. I love you, you are no burden. Please understand that." Nick replied hugging his boyfriend.

Jeff curled into the embrace, hugging his boyfriend back hard, "I'll try to," He murmured, "I should probably get up and go and talk to Thad. Would you… I mean I know I said that you didn't need to… but would you maybe talk to Sebastian for me? I know that it's just the way he is… but I don't need any more nightmares like last night and sometimes the things that he says…" Jeff trailed off, embarrassed.

"Of course Jeffie." Nick smiled. How could he refuse? Nick always accepted favours, sometimes he just couldn't say no.

Jeff smiled softly and after getting dressed quickly and sharing a gentle kiss at the doorway they split off in opposite directions to find the two Warblers, Jeff found himself outside David and Thad's door, he hesitated for a second before knocked. David answered and instantly Jeff found himself swept up in a bone crushing hug.

"You okay, Jeff?" He asked, his voice full of concern, "I laid into Thad and Seb for you." He glanced over his shoulder and lowered his voice, "Go easy on him though, okay mate? He feels horrible."

Jeff nodded slightly and David backed out of the room to give them some space. Jeff stared at Thad, sat slumped in his computer chair and bit his lip. Suddenly unsure what to say,

"So, what happened, Thad." He asked, not unkindly, "Why did you kiss him like that?"

**(*********************)**

After parting with Jeff, Nick started running for Seb's single room. Before knocking on the door, he had to fix his skinny jeans up because they were halfway down his bottom. He knocked impatiently.

"Hmm Nick. I knew it was only a matter of time before you came back to me" Sebastian smirked on entering the door.

Nick tried hard to not growl at how disgusted he was in Sebastian. "What's your problem?" Before Sebastian could speak, Nick started again. "You weren't like this before and during our relationship! I would liked to have been your friend but it seems you have another thought with Jeff."

Nick was letting his anger out. He hit his leg a couple of times before Sebastian stopped him and said "You stopped doing that when we were together and promised to never do it again." Sadness in his heart.

Nick's eyes widened. He and Sebastian planned a lot of things together, they made promises too. Even for if they broke up. "Please, get along with Jeff and I will hang around you more, I miss our friendship." Nick whispered. Nick didn't know what to do or think when Sebastian leaned forward. It was only for a gentle kiss on the cheek, nothing seductive.

"I can't promise that" He said emotionlessly and slammed the door in Nick's face.

**(**********************)**

Thad didn't say anything, "Well?" Jeff demanded, his voice softened, "Look Thad… I don't want to be mad at you. But you made out with my boyfriend _in front of me_. And you weren't drunk, I know that because you _never_ get drunk at those parties. You more than any of the Warblers knows what I'm going through at the minute. What did I ever do to deserve that, Thaddeus?"

Thad winced at the usage of his full name and he looked up, "I'm so sorry, Jeff. I've been so confused lately and I didn't know what to do. You, Nick and Seb are the only gay Warblers and I couldn't make out with Seb… you know what he's like."

Jeff raised his eyebrow, having a hard time accepting this excuse, "So you made out with Nick, right in front of my face because you were confused? No. I'm sorry Thad but no. I was fucking confused! You didn't see me making out with guys left right and centre!" Jeff took a deep breath not wanting to shout, "Did you even work out what you were hoping for?"

Thad nodded slowly, "I think… I think I might be gay. But I just don't know. I'm so sorry Jeff!" He really did sound distraught, Jeff nodded sharply, but sat on the bed next to his friend.

"I know how hard this is, Thad. And I'm always here if you need to talk. But if you touch my boyfriend again then that's it. I'm so scared of losing him… I don't know what I'd do if I did."

Thad took Jeff's hand awkwardly, brushing his fingers over the promise ring - that was new - he looked at Jeff sadly, "Anyone with half a brain can see that you two were meant for each other, mate. That kiss didn't mean anything to him."

Jeff nodded gratefully and got up, "I'll see you around, Thad." He smiled before leaving. He just wanted to find Nicky.

**(*****************************)**

Nick started jogging down the hall. He skid to a stop when he almost ran into Jeff.  
>"How'd it go" he question gleefully.<p>

Jeff bit his lip and steadied himself on Nick, "He said he was just confused… and he didn't want to kiss Sebastian to work himself out. I told him that, that didn't make it okay but that I was there if he needed to talk." He shifted nervously before meeting his boyfriend's dark eyes, "He also said the kiss didn't mean anything to you. How did it go with Sebastian?"

Nick shrugged. "He listened. But I doubt he will follow through what said " That was true but he wanted to steer from subject, he hit himself and that meant bad news if Jeff found out.

Jeff nodded nervously… he'd never really been bullied before, not by anyone other than his own family, but that was how Sebastian made him feel. He stood lost in thought for a moment, twirling his ring around his finger, wondering what he'd would do if Sebastian continued being the way he was towards him. He was so preoccupied that he didn't notice when Nick started speaking to him.

"Jeff…. You listening?" Nick smiled at how suddenly his boyfriend snapped out of his thoughts. "I was thinking… If… If Sebastian plays nice, would it be okay if I were friends with him?"

Jeff's heart tore in two, Sebastian hated him. He hadn't even told Nick some of the more cruel things he'd said. And they were ex's… he didn't want to lose Nicky. One the other hand, Nick needed all of the friends he could get - what did it matter if he had to put but with Sebastian being a dick to him. He's put up with worse at home. He smiled and hoped Nick wouldn't notice how forced it was.

"Of course, Nicky." He said, his voice strained, "You know I'd never tell you who you could and couldn't be friends with."

"i just want everything to be okay" he whispered, thinking in his head. His thought broke when Jeff handed Nick his phone. It was a text from Seb and it was unread. After reading it he didn't know whether to smile or not. It read : _**look after nicky boy, or someone else will.**_

Jeff shrugged, "I get texts off him a lot. He still really likes you, Nicky. I imagine he's a good friend, if he doesn't hate your guts." He muttered the last part dejectedly.

Nick pulled Jeff in for a hug. "He doesn't hate you, he is jealous of you. I can't understand why, if I were him id be jealous of me. Look who I am dating."

Jeff buried into his boyfriends warm embrace, "He keeps telling me that I'm not good enough for you… he's right." He whispered. "What do you want to do today, Nicky?"

"How bout we get a coffee? Although I'll get tea because I can't actually drink coffee. But its not about the money we spend but the time we use." he placed a kiss on Jeff's nose and laced their fingers together. Even though he knew Jeff wasn't public about it.

Jeff froze for a second before tightening his grip on Nick's hand. Then he stopped, pulling Nick to a halt beside him. He hadn't left campus since the incident, he turned wide, scared eyes on Nick and hoped that he understood.

"I understand." He whispered. "Would you like to come to my dorm, I will make you coffee?"

Jeff bit down on his lip, hard, catching Nicky's disproving look he stopped, "I just… It's not that I don't _want_ to get off campus… and you don't deserve to be stuck here just because of me… it's just that the last time-" He looked down, refusing he meet, Nick's eyes, "I'm _scared_, Nicky."

Nick hugged Jeff. "I understand. I want you to know I am willing to stay with you. Anytime . Any day."

Jeff shook his head, "No. Come on, let's go."

Nick was blown away at sudden strength Jeff had as he pulled Nick along. They reached the Lima Bean and Nick took and paid for the orders.

Jeff frowned at the coffee in front of them, "You need to stop paying for everything, Nicky. I have money," He reached out and grabbed Nick's hand, "Speaking of which, do you want to finally get that clothes shopping done today?"

Nick nodded. Of course he actually wasn't going to buy any clothes, he would gladly go.  
>"I don't mind paying…. Do you want anything to eat as well?"<p>

Jeff shook his head, he hadn't been hungry lately, "Nah, I'm okay…" He groaned, "I fucking hate clothes shopping, Nicky. Why the hell did they have to destroy all of my clothes? What did that even achieve?"

Nick shrugged his shoulders. What did any of that really achieve? "Have you received any texts…. From Jake…?"

Jeff froze and took his hand out of Nick's to cover his phone, almost subconsciously, "No. Nothing. I guess they just don't want to know…" He murmured, cursing that he couldn't lie.

Nick had his hand opened, gesturing that Jeff should give him the phone, but Jeff was some what reluctant. Nick shot him a confused look.

"Nicky…" Jeff shifted uncomfortably, "You don't need to see. The things he says are pretty vile…" He sighed and handed Nick his phone, "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you."

Nick was disgusted. He almost crushed the cup holding his tea with his bare hand.  
>"Ignore his texts. " He said plainly.<p>

"I have been doing," Jeff sighed quietly, "But he just keeps sending them. Are you mad at me Nicky?"

Nick shook his head. "Not you…" He said. "…me" he whispered quietly, certain Jeff didn't hear.

"You?" Jeff was incredulous, "You never did anything! This is all on me and Jake, Nicky… never on you."

Nick flinched at the words thrown at him. Maybe Nick had a mental illness like Trent, one that caused home to believe everything was his fault. "Shall we go shopping?" He whispered.

Jeff nodded, sadly. He wished he could make Nick understand…

Nick and Jeff made their way to the shop in no time. Jeff was trying things on but Nick could get the thought that perhaps he did have a mental illness.

Jeff came out of the changing rooms, throwing a pare of bright violet skinny jeans on the "yes" pile. He turned to his boyfriend who was lost in thought, his brow furrowed. Sighing he cast a quick glance around to make sure no one was there and pressed soft kisses to his forehead, trying to smooth out the worry lines.

"I know what you're thinking, Nicky. You're not mad."

Nick sighed. "I was just wondering if maybe… I have a…." He certainly wasn't comfortable saying this out loud. He lowered his head and twiddled his fingers.

Jeff nodded and wrapped his arms tightly around his boyfriend, "I know honey. But you don't, I honestly don't think that you do… we're just both dealing with a lot at the minute." Nick relaxed into his grip and Jeff smiled slightly, "Now. Violet or Red skinny's?"

Nick thought. Then started laughing hysterically. "Red goes faster" He said with a wink.

Jeff grinned, happy Nick was laughing, "Well there is that." He allowed. The blonde eyed the small pile of clothes critically, "Do you think that's enough?"

It wasn't. Nowhere near, Jake and his dad had destroyed almost everything he owned, but he hated clothes shopping…

Nick thought long and hard. Of course it wasn't enough. "You can borrow some of mine when or if you need to." He said, helping Jeff collect the pile. "If I do have one… will you still love me?"

Jeff nodded, respecting his boyfriend by matching his off hand tone, "Of course I will. But I really don't think that you do. You can go have a check up if you're worried though."

"I hate hospitals."

Jeff nodded and grabbed his boyfriends hand, for once not caring that they were in public, "I know that you do, honey… but if you don't go then you'll never know. And I _know_ you Nick, you'll worry yourself sick."

"I can't afford it anyway…" Nick closed his eyes and warmed to Jeff's touch.  
>"I promise I wont worry much.."<p>

"I can though…" Jeff looked down, "Look, Nicky. I know how you feel about charity but this isn't charity! You're my boyfriend and I love you and I know that you're okay but I need you to know that. Besides you paid for me when I was in hospital. I was pretty doped up on painkillers but don't think that I didn't catch that."

"No.. .no Jeff don't worry." They reached the checkout, the lady eying them suspiciously.  
>"It's just, I have bad anger. My mood changes frequently and I hurt myself. Some sort of mental illness has to be in order."<p>

The woman snorted, she was clearly eavesdropping. It just made Nick feel worse about himself

Jeff heard the woman's derisive snort and felt an unfamiliar feeling of rage bubbling up inside him, he barely had a moment to remember how much he hated confrontation before he was swinging around to face her.

"Excuse me?" He asked, his voice icy and unforgiving, "Do you have a problem?"

Nick's eyes widened at the tone of his boyfriends voice.

"Well," The woman started, "Sounds like someone has personality disorder. Probably started when you chose to be gay!"

Nick shuddered at the comment.

Jeff squeezed his boyfriend's hand, "We didn't _choose_ to be gay you interfering bitch. It's just something we _are_." He cocked his head and glanced at her ringless hand, "Huh." He sneered, "You're, what? Forty-six, Forty-seven? No wedding ring. Interesting." He leaned in and pulled his credit card out of the machine, grabbing the bag of newly paid for clothes with his good hand and handing them to Nick, "Now you listen here you fucking harpy. I love this boy more than anything in the world and I will _not_ have people like you talking shit to him. Especially when you've obviously never been in love in your life. Just fuck off and mind your own business, okay? Come on Nick."

He pulled the shocked boy out of the shop and kept going until they were far enough away, he leant heavily against a wall, starting to hyperventilate. "Oh _God_, Nicky… I started a fight. I was so _mean_. God, Nick, I'm sorry. She just…." He trailed off panting, he was panicking.

"Jeff calm down and breathe" Nick was shocked but Jeff need reassuring everything was fine.

Jeff looked up and drew his boyfriend into a bone crushing hug, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have started a fight like that in the middle of the shop. But no one gets to talk to you like that, Nicky. _No one._"

Nick struggled his breath in the hug. "You mustn't worry about me ever…" Nick said.  
>"I'm hardly worth it."<p>

"Shut up." Jeff growled into his shoulder, "You're worth that and more. And I'll always worry about you. Are you telling me that you wouldn't have said anything if she'd been talking about me like that?"

"I…. Just, don't get hurt because of me." He whispered, grabbing his boyfriend's hand, they started walking to the car.

Jeff chuckled weakly, "Oh please… even _I_ could take _her_."

Nick refused to let go of Jeff's hand. He was a little shaken up. "What's personality disorder?"

"Honestly, I'm not sure honey. But it doesn't sound as bad as a mental health issue… you should maybe look into it? Though I still don't think there's anything wrong with you. There's nothing wrong with getting angry, I just did. I called a strange a bitch," The word felt funny coming from his mouth, "God… I know she was being vile, but I was perhaps overly harsh."

"I'm with you all the way." He whispered laying his head on Jeff's chest.

Jeff nodded, hugging Nick to him, slightly awkwardly, he hissed not for the first time and rapped his knuckles against the bright blue cast, "I know I say it at least once a day, but I can't wait to get this bloody thing off."

**Reviews = Love**


	15. Chapter 15

_**A/N**_

_**Hey everyone,**_

_**First off I am so so sorry it'd taken me this long to update, I'm swamped with Uni work at the minute and I had a death in my family, but basically I'm just an idiot who kept forgetting. **_

_**So I hope all of you reading this are still with us! I promise not to let the wait get that long again. I really like this chapter so I hope you do too!**_

_**Mieko x**_

_**WARNINGS: Some homophobic language and severe injury.**_

_**We don't own anything you recognise, only the OC's are ours.**_

Nick walked around his room. Today was going to be the worst school day ever. He had a maths day. Almost an entire day with someone he wanted to rip to shreds. This was only for the lower classes, an excuse to get them _more interested in maths._ It would never work. Nick just didn't like the man. He would gladly watch him die. Well no he wouldn't, that is harsh. He paced awkwardly around. Trent came out of the bathroom. Nick looked at him with loving eyes. Trent was the closest thing Nick had to a brother.

"N-N-Nicky… H-How do y-yuh-you know y-you like s-s-someone?" He asked

"Everything they do makes your heart melt." He replied smiling. Did Trent have a crush on someone? That would be so cute.

Back to maths. One of the worst things about today was he had to spend it with Sebastian who was in the second lowest class. Why did Jeff have to be so smart?

**(***********)**

Jeff sat at his desk and bit his lip, hard. He knew that Nick was stuck doing math all day and he couldn't help but feel sorry for him, he knew how much Nick despised his maths teacher. Sighing he turned back to his Spanish book, and tried not to worry too much. Nick had been distant lately, ever since that day at the Mall. Jeff honestly didn't believe that there was anything wrong with his boyfriend, but Nick had convinced himself that there was and no amount of begging from Jeff would convince the brunette to take any tests so that he could know for sure and set his mind at rest. Quickly Jeff pulled out his phone and ran off a text underneath the desk.

**To Nicky:** _How's it going? Told any teachers to "suck your dick" yet? 3_

Nick laughed.

**To Jeffie:**___Not yet, Seb is annoying me. I would tell him to but he would take it seriously. lol. How is your lesson love?_

Nick ran a hand through his hair. He was the only person answering questions and didn't deserve to be there. He was even smarter than the people in the class higher than him. He didn't mind of course, the only reason he was in the bottom was because of his attitude.

Jeff glanced quickly up at his Spanish teacher and saw that she was preoccupied, Nick seemed in surprisingly good spirits, considering who he was stuck with all day.

**To Nicky:** _Just stab him with your pen… it's what I'd do. It's okay, Spanish is easy. You still want to come with me later to get this cast off? Te amo corazón mío, no matan a profesores de matemáticas ¿de acuerdo?_

Nick laughed. He was just glad he was good at Spanish.

**To Jeffie:** _Voy a tratar lo mejor posible. Te amo tanto oh! La suya en la eternidad!_

Jeff smiled softly,

**To Nicky:** _You too honey, always. Was that a yes to coming to hospital with me? You don't have to, I know how it makes you feel._

**To Jeffie:** _I don't care. I need to make sure you keep my words._

He laughed a little. The day would end quicker now.

**To Nicky:** _As if I'd do anything different. Thad's sat next to me reading these texts over my shoulder. He's bouncing like a puppy because I'll be able to dance again… He's not listening to me when I tell him that I can't dance for a few weeks yet until the muscle strengthens. Do you recon I can get away with dancing early? I miss it…_

Jeff turned to Thad, casting a wary look at their teacher,

"Stop reading over my shoulder. It's rude."

"But you're getting your cast off!" Thad was practically cackling, "Dude, that's awesome! You and David are our best dancers."

Jeff rolled his eyes and turned his attentions back to the teacher, waiting for Nick to reply.

**To Jeffie:** _I suppose you could try, just nothing too strenuous! How long till the day ends? I am excited for you._

"Nick Duval! Are you texting!" His maths teacher shouted.

Nick realised his phone was in his lap, "Nah, I'm fucking wanking" He said sarcastically.

The teacher just rolled his eyes. "If I catch it out again, you're in trouble"

Nick rolled his eyes.

**To Nicky:** _Stop mothering me, I'll be fine. Just another 2hours honey. Need any help with anything?_

**To Jeffie:**Nah! I think the teacher thinks I was masturbating though.

Jeff's phone buzzed twice and he looked down curiously,

**From Asshole:** _I bet your healing up nicely you cock sucking pervert. But we have new plans for you. Be seeing you very soon, little brother_

**From Nicky:** _Nah! I think the teacher thinks I was masturbating though._

The colour drained from Jeff's face and he sent out a hurried text to Nick

**To Nicky:** _Can you get a hall pass and meet me at the north wing toilets? Now. Please, Nick? I need you._

He put his hand up,

"Señorita, yo no me siento bien. ¿Podría por favor, ser excusado?"

**To Jeffie:**_I'm on my way!_

Jeff reached the toilets first and slid down the wall, clutching his knees to him, mimicking a position he'd seen Nick take a million times. He was scared. Jake had been texting him constantly for the last month, but it was just words, not direct threats like this one. He hid his face in his knees and desperately tried to control the shaking that took over his slender body. He hoped Nicky would make it, he knew it was unlikely his maths teacher would let him leave.

"Sir, I need to use the bathroo-"

"You aren't leaving!" The teacher butt in, sternly.

"Do you want me to come all over your face?"

"You can go."

Nick ran down the hall, smiling at some of the laughs and comments from the other students. He reached the toilets.

"Jeffie! You here?" he called.

"Nicky-" Jeff choked out, he wasn't crying, tears wouldn't come, he was just shaking so much that speaking was hard. He leant over and vomited all over the floor, he heard footsteps and Nick rounded the corner.

Nick went cold. "Jeff what happened?"

Jeff just shook his head weakly, before his stomach gave up the last of it's contents. He held out his phone.

"Just read it," He whimpered, falling back against the wall, pale and shaking.

Nick read it and shook his head. "I won't let him touch you. Come on. We can tell the school your appointment is now." he said helping Jeff up.

"You can't stop him," Jeff whispered, leaning heavily on Nick, "If he wants to hurt me then he will." Jeff sighed, he was tired, he was so tired of this. Why couldn't he just have a family that loved him? "Nicky, why won't they just leave me alone? Where are we going anyway?"

"For a walk until you can get your cast off. I won't ever let him touch you again. I promise " Nick held his pinkie out.

Jeff linked pinkies with the dark haired Warbler,

"I know Nicky, I'm just scared. I don't want to hurt again." He sighed, "I shouldn't have dragged you out of class, you'll get in trouble."

Nick laughed. "He thinks I'm wanking. Come on let's go"

Jeff chuckled softly, "I shouldn't be surprised… Careful where you hold on to me. You don't want to get my puke all over you." Jeff frowned down at his ruined Blazer.

"Come on you can get changed first." Nick said.

Jeff smiled gratefully as they headed towards his dorm, he sat weakly on the bed once they got there, his head was spinning. He hadn't been eating a lot lately and violently throwing up what he had had in him hadn't gone down to well.

"You pick me something to wear mmkay Nicky?" He murmured drowsily, "I'm just going to lie down for a second."

Nick picked out something loose for Jeff. Nothing too tight. "Come on Jeff, you're eating before we go." he said walking into the kitchen.

Jeff whined pitifully as he pulled on the clothes… he felt weird not in skinny jeans.

"Nicky, I'm not hungry…"

"I want you to eat. You threw up you could faint." Nick said, sternly.

Jeff sighed, he wasn't doing it intentionally. It's just since the incident he hadn't been hungry, so he ate the bare minimum that he needed to, he'd been losing weight, which he hoped Nick hadn't noticed. He hated it actually. If anything he knew he needed to gain weight and he certainly wasn't trying to make himself skinnier… He'd just never been able to force food down when he wasn't hungry.

"Fine, but nothing too much okay?"

Nick smiled. Jeff downed it pretty quickly. They started walking to the hospital, it was safer then Jeff driving the way he was.

Walking to the hospital, Jeff had his good hand gripped in Nick's tightly. They were silent most of the way there and that was one of the things Jeff loved most about being with Nick, they could just not talk and be completely comfortable in each others presence, as they got closer, Jeff turned to Nick.

"You don't need to come in with me you know? You can wait outside if you'd prefer?"

"I want to be there with you. I will just close my eyes. " Nick said. It was going to be uncomfortable but he did it anyway. They found the way in a small room, his eyes shut and gripping Jeff's hand tightly.

Jeff sat there as the Doctor entered, he caught the look he gave his and Nick's clasped hands and froze,

"I-I want a different Doctor."

Nick shook. He didn't see what happened but he had a good guess. "He won't hit you Jeff and that's coming from me."

"No." Jeff replied, his whole body shaking, "You didn't see the way he looked at us. I want another doctor."

The Doctor sneered at the blonde, Nick still hadn't opened his eyes, "I can assure you, _Mr_ Sterling, that I am fully qualified to perform a little procedure such as removing a cast. Now if you could please stop being so _hysterical_ and your…" He coughed pointedly, "_friend_ here could leave, then we can get started."

Nick froze. "Do you trust yourself if I leave?" His tone was bland. He only had to get a cast taken off. If Nick were to bump him he could get a cut or something.

"I trust myself… I don't trust him." Jeff glared at the doctor, though the fact he was still shaking told Nicky that he was scared, "What is your problem with me?"

"Not problem, _sir_." The Doctors polite tone dripped with sarcasm, "I'm used to dealing with little girls in Paediatrics, just didn't expect to see one here." The doctor was clearly `trying to sound like he was joking but both boys saw through it. Jeff let out a small gasp and looked down, his eyes filling with tears.

"Sir, please just take his cast off. That's all we are here for." Nick said. His tone more harsh as to seem slightly threatening.

The Doctor raised an eyebrow, "I'd _love_ to, young man, but I can't do anything while he's shaking like that. We wouldn't want to cause an accident now would we?"

Nick nodded and turned to Jeff. He didn't even realise his eyes were open.  
>"Jeff. " he whispered. "Please, you want it off."<p>

Jeff nodded, and breathed heavily, desperately trying to calm down. The doctor got to work and the blonde kept an uneasy eye on him at all times, finally the cast came away in two halves.

"There now," The doctor drawled sarcastically, "That wasn't too hard now was it?"

Jeff bit his lip, still upset, "Can I… Can I keep the cast. Please?"

Raising one eyebrow the Doctor moved to take it away, "No I don't think so, after all that isn't protocol…"

The taller Warbler's eyes filled with tears once again, he _knew_ that wasn't true. Nicky had got to keep his cast when they were ten and he'd broken his leg. Why was this guy being such a jackass?

"Sir, I will pay for the cast. He really wanted it. Let me pay for it." Nick said. He wanted Jeff to have it.

"I'd love to, but it's against regulations to accept money from a patient," Jeff started whimpering quietly, and the Doctor looked at him in disgust, "Oh fine! Just take the damn thing!" He hissed, slamming it into Jeff's hands roughly, "Good day, _gentlemen_."

He spat out the last word and stormed out of the room, Jeff turned crying into his boyfriends strong chest.

"Why do people always hate us, Nicky?"

"They don't understand us" he replied. "Come one, let's go" he took Jeff's hand and led him out.

Jeff nodded and let Nick lead him out of the room, still sniffling quietly, he was clenching and unclenching his newly freed wrist, it was skinnier than the other having lost muscle mass,

"I feels weird." Jeff muttered, almost to quietly for Nick to hear, "Shouldn't he have given me advice on after-care and building up the muscles and stuff?"

"He was just an idiot." Nick said. They left the hospital and Nick notably saw goose bumps on Jeff's arm. The street was quiet. Hardly a car in sight.

"Yeah, I know." Jeff sighed, "I just don't know what to do now… what if I end up hurting it more._ Fuck_ it's freezing!" Jeff started as the swear word left his lips. He looked around, "We should cross here."

Nick nodded. "You start, I just gotta find my phone."

Nodding Jeff started out into the road, he turned around, not looking and called to his boyfriend.

"Nicky!" The dark haired boy looked up, "I love you!" Jeff called smiling, he didn't see the car coming.

Nicks eyes widened. He knew that car. It started speeding up and he knew for certain.  
><em>"Jeff!"<em> He shouted pushing him.

Jeff fell heavily. The first thing he noticed, was that he'd ripped most of the skin off his left side, and probably broken his newly healed arm again. The second thing he noticed was the car speeding off around the corner, his brothers car. The third thing was Nicky curled up on the floor, a small puddle of blood surrounding him.

"Nicky!" He choked, limping towards his boyfriend, Nick groaned and Jeff thanked God he was alive, "Nicky, honey. What hurts?"

Nick couldn't form any words. Everything hurt. His breathing picked up and he coughed up some blood. His vision fading slightly.

"Nicky? Nick no, honey! I need to you stay awake. Keep talking to me Nicky, sing, _talk!_ Do something!"

Jeff called an ambulance quickly and then cradled Nicks head in his hands, "Come on, baby._Live in my house I'll be your shelter, just pay me back with one thousand kisses, be my lover, I'll cover you…"_

Nicks eyes shut and he floated into unconsciousness. His body in so much pain, he wasn't sure he could live like this. Every now and then he felt Jeff shake him violently which only hurt more.

Jeff sat in the waiting room, his head cradled in his good hand, his clothes stuck to his side where the blood had seeped through, he hadn't even told the hospital he was injured and they hadn't noticed. That didn't matter. Nick just had to be okay. He'd called his boyfriend's parents but they were away, his dad still applying for every job he could find, finally a nurse walked towards him, she was smiling - that had to be a good sign right?

"Good news is he will live." She said. "Your boyfriend will have to stay in hospital for a while." Her face was sympathetic and understanding. "He's hooked up to a breathing machine right now and he isn't awake. You can see him if you want. "

Jeff nodded and practically ran into his boyfriends room, "Oh Nicky…" He breathed stroking down his face, "I love you so much, I'm so sorry."

**(**************)**

Over the next week or so, Nick stabilised, his parents came home and the visited occasionally, but Jeff never left, he slept in a cot bed next to Nick. Dalton had allowed it under the proviso that he completed all the work that Thad brought over for him every day, and he did that easily. The only other thing he had to do was watch Nick. He still hadn't told the hospital he was injured and he was in a great deal of pain, but he figured that was the least he deserved for putting Nick in here.

Exactly a week after the accident, Jeff was singing softly to Nick, when the brunettes eyes fluttered open.

"W-What's going on? Where am i?" He winced. Nothing was sinking in. "Who are you?"

And with those three words, Jeff's heart broke, "Nicky…" He choked out, "It's me. It's Jeffie. We've been best friends since we were four, Nick. I'm your boyfriend… tell me that you remember me!"

Nicks eyes adjusted. "Who?" He asked again. He never felt so confused about anything.

Jeff's eyes suddenly went blank, "My names Jeff Sterling." He replied, monotone, "I'm seventeen, we go to Dalton Academy. We used to be best friends but we've been dating for a while now… I'll go and find a nurse." He stood up to leave, but Nick's hand reached out and grabbed his wrist.

"Don't leave me alone in here." Nick pleaded. "Jeffie…"

Jeff paused, unsure if Nick was just mimicking him from before, "Do you… do you remember?"

Nick felt shamed. He couldn't turn his head away but he tried. He cried out in pain.

Jeff reached out, "Don't move!" He pressed the call button for the nurse, "It's okay if you don't love me anymore. I still love you, honey. _Live in my house. I'll be your shelter, just pay me back with one thousand kisses, be my lover, I'll cover you…_" Jeff sang softly once again, hoping to jog the other boys memory.

"Jeffie…I love you." He whispered. He tried sitting himself up but coughed up some blood. He moved his hand slightly, hoping Jeff would hold it.

Jeff grabbed hold of his hand gently and squeezed as the nurse entered, "I love you too."

**(*************)**

Two days later and Nick was definitely looking up, he was off all of this machines and sitting up, talking and eating. He was still delicate and the amount of broken ribs and the severe head wound he'd received meant that he couldn't be moved just yet. Jeff still hadn't received treatment for the layer of skin he'd scraped off and his re-broken wrist, he was scared his side was getting infected, but honestly he barely noticed it, he was too intent on getting Nick healthy again.

He was sat tentatively on Nick's bed, with his arm draped loosely around his shoulders, "I'm so sorry that this happened Nicky." He had finally decided that Nick was strong enough to hear this, "I want you to promise me _never_ to do anything that _stupid_ and _reckless_ again. You shouldn't have pushed me out of the way, I could have lost you." He was gentle but firm, making it clear how much he loved the dark haired Warbler.

Nick started shaking. "I would suffer that for the rest of my life if it meant you were safe." He attempted standing. He got to Jeff but collapsed under his weight. "I'm sorry for pushing you"

Jeff bit his lip and cursed, not for the first time, the fact he couldn't lie. "It's fine Nicky, you were doing what you thought was right and I… I wasn't h-hurt anyway."

"Did he say anything? Do I have a…. An illness?" Nick tried getting up but not succeeding.

"You don't." Jeff confirmed softly, "You're likely stressed and you have anger management issues but we knew that. You just need to reduce the stress in your life and you'll go back to coping better. So I was thinking… that I'd understand if you wanted to leave me."

"Jeff no!" He cried. "S-say you'll stay?" He whispered, his cries breaking into sobs.

"Of course I'll stay," Jeff soothed, kissing Nick's hair, "I just thought you might want to… It's my fault you're here." Nick leaned over and trapped Jeff's broken wrist, causing the blonde to cry out in pain, and then look away, ashamed at being caught out.

"Jeff, w-what is wrong?" Nick said investigating Jeff's arm. His gaze went to Jeff's side. He tried to make his way to Jeff. he succeeded this time. He slid Jeff's shirts up and was mortified at what he saw.

"I-it's nothing, Nicky," Jeff stuttered, not being able to look into his boyfriends shocked eyes, "It…. I mean it doesn't even hurt too bad."

Nick pressed a finger lightly to the blonde's side.

Jeff hissed in pain, "Okay… so maybe it hurts a little." He scowled, "I deserve it for getting you hurt, and the doctors didn't need to be wasting their time on me, when you needed to get better."

Nicks bottom lip quivered. He leant in and shared a passionate kiss with Jeff. Something he hadn't done in a while. "What did I do to you?" He asked.

Jeff shrugged, "You saved me from getting killed." He sighed at his boyfriends confused face, "I'm not built the same way you are Nicky. I'm more… frail. And my body was still healing from the beating they gave me. There's no way I would have survived that car hitting me. Losing some of my skin and gaining another broken wrist seems like a pretty fair trade for my life, don't you think?" He kissed, Nick again. "But you still shouldn't have risked yourself."

Nick kissed his boyfriend again, trying hard but failing to not kiss Jeff's spot. He had barely kissed Jeff let alone suck on his neck and he couldn't help himself.

Jeff moaned in response, he'd missed this. But eventually he broke away sighing, "I suppose I should really get myself seen it, it's been nearly two weeks, my wrists killing me and I'm pretty sure my sides infected."

Nick nodded, flustered in the moment. "Now…" he led on, staying in his spot.

Jeff sighed and gave in, pressing the button for the nurse to come in. An hour later, and with countless lectures from Hospital staff, Jeff's side was cleaned up and bandaged and his wrist encased in plaster once more, his time purple. He looked down at it and sighed,

"I'm never going have this out of plaster for longer than an hour again am I?" He chuckled softly.

Nick offered a smile. "Hospitals aren't as bad as I think….are they Jeffie?" Nick asked, feeling defeated and that his fear was just petty and senseless.

"No," Jeff whispered, hugging Nicky as strongly as he dared without hurting him. "No they're not. Besides, I'm here, and I'm not leaving you until you're discharged, which won't be too long so long as you're careful." Jeff swallowed nervously, "Jake's been texting me…"

Nick held out his hand. This time Jeff refused to give it to him. What could they be about? "Jeff, I want to help you. I have caused enough damage on you-" Nick was cut off by Jeff sobs.

"I just wish he'd leave me alone. I never did anything wrong, Nicky. I didn't do anything wrong and they're meant to be my family. They're meant to love me." He hadn't broken down like that since they'd beaten him up, "I don't know what to do anymore Nicky, I'm scared all of the time. And now they've hurt you too. I'm so sorry Nick… I'm so sorry that I let them do this to you." He grabbed his phone and passed it nervously to Nick.

Nick's eyes fluttered shut. "It's my own fault they hurt me Jeff, not yours." Nick whispered, "Do you think they will let me out today? I still don't like hospitals." He nuzzled his head to Jeff's neck. "We can block him from your phone can't we?"

"This could never be your fault, honey." Jeff murmured, "And I could… but I don't want to. I already deleted Dad's number and Dev doesn't have a phone. What do I do if he needs me?" Jeff closed his eyes, he felt sick. He couldn't help feel like he'd abandoned his baby brother.

Nick yawned. He hadn't had a good sleep since the accident and nightmares. "You can't help what happened and what is yet to happen. You wont want to hear this but if something were to happen to him - and I regret saying this - it was going to happen anyway." He whispered, instantly realising how much of a jerk he sounded like.

Jeff nodded jerkily, tears slipping silently down his pale face. He tightened his grip on Nick, "Go to sleep, love. I'll still be here when you wake up."

Nick shook his head. "I'm too scared to. Anyway, I can't knowing the emotional state I've left you in. I-I am so sorry" Nick said, kissing Jeff's forehead.

Jeff shook his head, "None of this is on you, Nicky. I just haven't been sleeping, but that isn't your fault - you're not the one who's been texting me death threats every five minutes."

Nick was struggling to keep his eyes open. "I'm here for you, Jeff. I care about you and I would get hit by a car everyday if it meant you would stay safe." He whispered. "My parents are still struggling and I…" Nick closed his eyes and yawned. "I…" words wont processing. He was so close to asleep it wasn't funny.

"What, honey?" Jeff whispered into Nick's hair.

"I'm worried for them…." He yawned once more. His eyes watering as they shut. He wrapped his arm over Jeff and drifted into a soft sleep. He knew he wanted to wake up. He wanted to be awake with Jeff.

"Go to sleep, we'll talk tomorrow." Jeff smiled softly, crooning to his boyfriend until he slept.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N:** **A/N: Aloha! It's Chelsinator! Hope you enjoy this next chapter - don't forget to review. We don't own Glee or 'da guys'.**

**(**********************)**

The first week since Nick had been home from hospital had been hell for Jeff. He'd gone back to his house to me fussed over by his mum and Jeff had been forced to go back to Dalton.

The Warblers - and everyone else - had essentially been told truth, with the fact Jake had been driving the car conveniently left out. And for the most part they were sympathetic, rallying around Jeff and offering him support. The notable exception was - as always - Sebastian.

Jeff was failing, and failing fast. The desperate work he had to do to catch up with all of the work he'd missed while at the hospital, combined with the fact he couldn't sleep, and wasn't eating. And the fact that he drove the two hour drive to Nick's house every chance he got was breaking him. And Sebastian had taken to following him around, making snide comments about how it was Jeff's fault Nick got hurt. He called him a screw up, he shoulder barged him every chance he got.

Jeff knew that he was only doing it because he was jealous, because he wanted Nick. He also knew that on one level Sebastian was genuinely worried about Nick, but it was getting to him and he was getting closer and closer to breaking point.

Jeff had been rather distant lately. Nick saw this easily. "Is everything okay, Jeff?" He questioned lovingly, sitting in the cafeteria with Jeff. "You just seem off."

The blonde rubbed his eyes tiredly and picked at the salad he had no intention of eating,

"I'm fine, Nicky… honest. How are you? Want me to get you more food? A drink?"

Nick nodded. "It's still a bit hard to eat hard foods but I have drink in my bag." He said, he had other stuff as well but he wasn't intent on eating it. Since the accident Nick's parents were very clingy. "Whatcha doing later?" he asked

Jeff smiled slightly, ignoring the dizziness that suddenly took him over, he felt so drained all of the time now. But Nick didn't need to know that. "Nothing, sweet. What do you want to do?"

"Trent's out, so maybe a movie or even a candle lit dinner. We could have a.. date.. if you want to?" He smiled.

Jeff let out a deep shuddering breath, he felt on the verge of tears all the time at the minute, "A movie actually sounds pretty perfect."

Nick smiled widely, he couldn't contain his excitement "What movie ? Also I have a surprise for you in Warbler practise." Nick's smile - if possible - widened.

"You pick, Nicky." Jeff ran his hand through his hair, "I honestly don't mind." He leant over and kissed him gently, he was always gentle with Nick since the accident, "I can't wait."

Nick couldn't wait. Practise came quicker than he expected and he was getting a little nervous. Everyone filed in and Nick's nerves shot up more. Thad put a reassuring hand on his shoulder and he chanced an apologetic look for flinching. 

"Hey everyone, I just wanted to sing something for Jeff and some of you know that already. So Jeff, the Warblers and I…" He paused for a moment. "I want to sing something for you."

_ (Da da da da, da da da da, da da da da da)_

_I don't know if I can yell any louder_  
><em>How many times have I kicked you outta here?<em>  
><em>Or said something insulting?<em>  
><em>(Da da da da da)<em>  
><em>I can be so mean when I wanna be<em>  
><em>I am capable of really anything<em>  
><em>I can cut you into pieces<em>  
><em>But my heart is… broken<em>

_(Da da da da da)_  
><em>Please don't leave me (Da da da da, da da da da, da da da da da)<em>  
><em>Please don't leave me (Da da da da, da da da da, da da da da da)<em>  
><em>I always say how I don't need you<em>  
><em>But it's always gonna come right back to this<em>  
><em>Please don't leave me (Da da da da, da da da da, da da da da da)<em>

_How did I become so obnoxious?_  
><em>What is it with you that makes me act like this?<em>  
><em>I've never been this nasty<em>  
><em>(Da da da da da)<em>  
><em>Can't you tell that this is all just a contest?<em>  
><em>The one that wins will be the one that hits the hardest<em>  
><em>But baby I don't mean it<em>  
><em>I mean it, I promise<em>

_(Da da da da da)_  
><em>Please don't leave me (Da da da da, da da da da, da da da da da)<em>  
><em>Please don't leave me (Da da da da, da da da da, da da da da da)<em>  
><em>(Don't leave me)<em>  
><em>I always say how I don't need you<em>  
><em>But it's always gonna come right back to this<em>  
><em>Please don't leave me (Da da da da, da da da da, da da da da da)<em>

_I forgot to say out loud how beautiful you really are to me_  
><em>I can't be without, you're my perfect little punching bag<em>  
><em>And I need you, I'm sorry.<em>  
><em>(Da da da da da)<em>

_(Da da da da, da da da da, da da da da da)_  
><em>Please, please don't leave me (Da da da da, da da da da, da da da da da)<em>

_Baby, please don't leave me (Da da da da, da da da da, da da da da da)_  
><em>(No, don't leave me)<em>  
><em>Please don't leave me (Da da da da, da da da da, da da da da da)<em>  
><em>(I always say) I always say how I don't need you<em>  
><em>But it's always gonna come right back to this<em>  
><em>Please don't leave me (Da da da da, da da da da, da da da da da)<em>  
><em>Please don't leave me (Da da da da, da da da da, da da da da da)<em>  
><em>I always say how I don't need you<em>  
><em>But it's always gonna come right back to this<em>

_Please, please don't leave me (Da da da da, da da da da, da da da da da)_  
><em>Please, please don't leave me<em>

"Don't leave me Jeffie." He smiled, noticing Jeff's facial expression.

Jeff's face crumpled and he hid his face in Nick's shoulder, "Never, Nicky. _Never._I love you so, so much. And that was _beautiful_. I love you, honey. Always and forever. I'm yours."

Nick kissed his boyfriend passionately then thanked every Warbler that participated.  
>"How about The Haunting Connecticut for tonight?" Nick asked, he loved scary movies - even though they never scared him.<p>

Jeff bit his lip, Nick knew how much scary movies terrified him, he looked up embarrassed, "I don't know, Nicky…"

"I'll be there to protect you." His breath blew against Jeff's ear as he spoke.

Jeff shuddered and his knees suddenly felt weak and it wasn't just from hunger for once, "Okay, Nicky. Okay."

Nick smiled. "See you at six?" He questioned, knowing the effects he had on Jeff.

**(*******************)**

Jeff walked towards Nick's dorm, a rare spring in his step, when he ran slap bang into Sebastian. The taller Warbler sneered at him.

"On your way to a date with, Nick?"

Jeff rolled his eyes, refusing to rise to it, "Yes. Get out of my way, Seb. I'm not in the mood."

Seb put one hand on Jeff's shoulder to keep him in place. His fingers were digging in and Jeff knew it would leave a bruise.

"You know he doesn't care about you right?" Sebastian carried on in a low, cruel voice, "He's just keeping you around because he feels sorry for you. Some day soon he's going to realise how much of a fuck up you are and he's going to leave you for me."

Jeff tried to wrench himself from Sebastian's grip, but the other boy was too strong, "Shut up! Just leave me-"

"I mean, why would he want you?" Sebastian interrupted, "Just look at you. You're pathetic. I bet your own family doesn't even want you-"

That was when Jeff broke, he pulled back his fist and put all of his stress and anger into one punch to Sebastian's face. And that's when Nick came around the corner.

Before Jeff could say anything, Sebastian was whimpering, "He just punched me Nick! I didn't say anything and he just… punched me!"

Nick was confused. "Jeff, w-why would you do that?" He questioned.

"I didn't!" Jeff stood, eyes wide, like a deer caught in the headlights, "I wouldn't - he… he said… I can't repeat it, Nicky. Don't make me?" He pleaded, "But he started it, I swear he did. I didn't mean to punch him Nicky, I promise I didn't… you know that I don't like fighting… I…"

Jeff was on the verge of a panic attack, but Sebastian had pulled himself up, blood streaming down his face, an evil glint in his eye. He turned to Nick, "He's lying. I didn't say a God damn thing."

Nick didn't know what was going on. Sure, Jeff doesn't hurt people but Sebastian wouldn't lie, he was so nice to Nick the other day. He glanced between the two before his breathing picked up.

Jeff's heart broke. Nick didn't believe him. He actually had to think about this. The blonde's eyes filled with tears and he backed away slowly, running towards his dorm room. He hadn't meant to punch Sebastian, but he's been picking on him for weeks now. And the painful grip on his shoulder accompanied by the harsh words had made him flash back to being beaten up by Jake and his dad…. that comment had been the final straw, he'd just lost control. He sank onto his bed, curling into a foetal position, he couldn't believe that Nick didn't believe him.

"Jeff!" He called out as his boyfriend ran away.

"Hm. Now that _idiot_ is out of the way, we were going to have sex when we were together last." Seb said.

"You! This is all your fault! Y-you are a terrible person. _I HATE YOU!"_ Nick screamed at the top of his lungs, no doubt Jeff would have heard. He ran off in the direction of Jeff's dorm and broke down in front of the door. He leant his head on the door with a thud.

Jeff was scared. His chest had seized up and he couldn't breathe. He couldn't catch any breath. He hadn't had a panic attack this bad in years. He fought desperately to stop crying and to try and get some air into his lungs, just as Nick tried the door to find it unlocked.

Nick was instantly scared. His boyfriend was having a panic attack and running out of breath. Jeff's face turned pale and his eyes closed shut. Nick rushed over to Jeff.

"Jeff… _JEFF_!" He screamed.

He put his ear near Jeff's mouth then started shaking. He took a deep breath and breathed into Jeff's mouth. He started pumping his boyfriends chest. "Wake…..up….." he said during pants. He breathed into Jeff again and started pumping. Jeff's eyes flicked back open.

"Nicky…" He whimpered, "I'm so sorry, I -" He trailed off, Nick looked pissed.

"Why did you hit him!" He shouted, his voice catching in his breath ,"I thought you hated violence."

"He…" Jeff looked down, Nick needed all the friends he had at the minute, he couldn't do this to him, "I can't tell you Nicky…"

"So what… you just hit him! For no reason? After what happened to you!" Nick shouted again. How could Jeff be such a _hypocrite__?_

"No!" Jeff shouted, tears running down his face, "It wasn't like that. I just snapped, I-"

"If you aren't going to give me a proper excuse…" His voice softened. "I guess we can't be…. together." Nick wasn't even crying. He sat there emotionless.

"Nicky, no!" Jeff grabbed for his hand, "Please, Nick. Don't say that, I love you!"

"I….I" Nick closed his eyes and shook Jeff's grip away, he headed for the door.

**To Seb:** Wanna talk? Sorry bout earlier

**(*******************)**

Jeff was left, sat on the bed in his dorm room, crying. He didn't know what to do. He couldn't do this.

**(*******************)**

**Fr Seb:** Came to your senses? You know where to find me 3

Nick walked to Seb's room, knocking softly on the door. He flinched when he saw blood stains still on Seb's face. "I'm sorry about that man… I." Nick paused "I am single now."

**(**********************)**

Jeff curled in on himself and tried to sleep, how could Nicky do that. How could he just leave him? Why couldn't he trust him? He pulled out his phone.

_**Reviews = Love - The next chapter is told in texts again :)**_


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N:**

**Hey everyone :) So this chapters ridiculous short, it's just a few texts between the boys... I'll try and get chapter 18 up tonight too to make up for how short this one is...**

**Enjoy!**

**(And we still don't own them)**

**Mieko x**

**(*******************)**

**To Nicky:** _Nicky... please. Please don't leave me like this. We need to talk. Please Nicky._

**To Jeff:** Leave me alone

**To Nicky:** _You don't understand. I can't tell you why I did it, but you should know me Nick. Can't you just give me the benefit of the doubt?_

**To Jeff:** We're over. We shouldn't have to hide anything

**To Nicky:** _I'm doing this for you. I don't want you to lose Sebastian as a friend. Why can't you just trust me?_

**To Jeff:** You hit him! you don't hit people. Just, leave me alone.

**To Nicky:** _You'd have hit him too! I didn't mean to, it just happened. Please..._

**To Jeff:** I am with him now, he said you are lying. I believe him

**To Nicky:** _He's lying... He is. I can't tell you what he said but I promise you he's lying, I don't want you to stop being friends with him, I just don't want you to hate me either._

**To Jeff:** It's a bit late for that. You had no reason to hit him

**To Nicky:** _That isn't true! I just can't tell you what the reason is. You... you hate me?_

**To Jeff:** Yea! You're sounding like a bit of a dick right now!

**To Nicky:** _Nicky... don't say that. I need you._

**To Jeff:** Don't call me Nicky

**To Nicky:** _I love you..._

**To Jeff:** I don't love you

**To Nicky:** _You can't... No. You can't mean that. You don't just stop loving someone, just like that. What about that promise ring? Doesn't it mean anything to you?_

**To Jeff:** It is just an inanimate object.

**To Nicky:** _You wouldn't have given me it, if it didn't mean anything._

**To Jeff:** It doesn't mean anything now! Just fuck off!

**To Nicky:** _You don't mean that. You can't. You saved me Nicky... please, just come and talk to me?_

**To Jeff:** No

Reviews = Love


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: hello everyone. This chapter is very very very um… Warning filled? So watch out for sex, violent language and self harm. Enjoy!**

**Chelsinator.**

It had been a week since Nick broke up with Jeff. He was now going back out with Sebastian. And It was cool. They experimented with a lot of different things. Nick went out on a date, which had never actually done with Jeff, and it was amazing. Nick hadn't hit his leg since the last time and he smiled a lot more. He was at his house on his own, just sitting and practising his drums.

**(*************)**

The Warblers were worried about Jeff, he'd just completely shut down. He'd gone from barely eating anything to not eating at all, he stopped coming to rehearsals, he ghosted through lessons and he was distant. The first time they saw Nick and Sebastian coming into rehearsals holding hands they understood why. What they didn't understand was what had happened. As far as they knew Sebastian was still pursuing Blaine, and he was, Nick was just his distraction, perhaps even a vehicle to make him jealous. Either way they needed to talk to Jeff, he was practically killing himself over this.

**(*************)**

Nick was getting bored of his drums and checked his phone. He smiled, he had a text from Seb.

**Fr Seb:**_Hey, doing anything 3 _

**To Seb:** _Nuthin Sweetie_

**(*************)**

Jeff was lying on his bed staring blankly at the ceiling, playing with his promise ring, which he couldn't bring himself to take off, when the hammering started on his door.

"Go away!" He called,

"Jeff Sterling, you open this door _right_ now or I'm breaking it down."

"No, David! Can't you see I don't want to talk to you."

Thad's worried voice joined David's irate one, "We're worried, Jeff. You need to tell us what happened."

Jeff bit his lip and sighed, moving to unlock his door.

**(*************)**

**Fr Seb:** _Feel like doing anyone?_

**To Seb:**_Let me shower I will be right round ;)_

**(*************)**

"Jesus, Jeff." Thad hissed, "You look fucking terrible." He reached out and poked the blonde in the side, "Have you even been eating at all?"

Jeff dodged out of the way, "Not much…" He looked down, "What do you want, guys?"

**(*************)**

Nick showered quickly. He put on his amazing smelling aftershave. And grabbed his keys. It didn't take long for him to reach Seb's house. His parents weren't home.

**(*************)**

David stared at the boy he considered his surrogate little brother incredulously, "Are you kidding me? We're here to make sure that _you_ don't kill yourself. Just tell us what happened, Jeff!"

**(*************)**

Nick smiled at his boyfriend. Sebastian looked hot. He had nothing but his underwear on and winked at Nick.  
>"Ready for some fun?" Seb asked licking his lips, pulling out a cherry lollipop he must have been sucking on for sometime. He kissed Seb and tasted the sickly sweet flavour.<p>

**(*************)**

Jeff told them, he was sick of keeping it in. Both were furious.

"This is fucking ridiculous!" David growled, "Why would Nick even trust the git? It's blatantly obvious that he's still obsessing over Blaine. And the dicks been saying crap about Kurt for months."

Thad nodded, "We'd have kicked him out of Warblers ages ago but…" He paused, blushing, "Well he's really good. And we don't want to lose again!"

**(*************)**

Sebastian rolled Nick over and pushed his cock down hard on Nick's. He let out a soft moan.  
>It didn't take Seb long to undress Nick completely.<p>

**(*************)**

Jeff's eyes just filled with tears and Thad pulled him into a tight hug, "I just… I just don't understand why he doesn't love me anymore."

**(*************)**

Sebastian played with Nicks now hard cock.

"Blow me…." Nick breathed and just like that, Seb's lips were around his dick, dipping and humming around it.

**(*************)**

Thad rocked Jeff, murmuring comforting things to the younger Warbler, while David whipped out his phone.

**To Nick-star:** _What the fuck mate? Want to explain why Jeff is crying in Thad's arms right now?_

**(*************)**

Nick heard his phone go off but he was beyond gone.

"Rough… Or smooth?" Sebastian asked. A devilish smile escaping his feelings as Nick whimpered when Sebastian left his cock.

"Rough…" He breathed. Before he knew if, he was lying on his stomach.

**(*************)**

They waited fifteen minutes, until Jeff cried himself to sleep and then David called Nick.

Nick bumped his phone with his foot. Not aware he pressed answer. Sebastian entered the brunette in one swift motion.

"Fuck!" He cried out, his cries turned into moans as Seb began to thrust.

David listened for a second before his eyes grew wide and he threw the phone at Thad. Thad's face turned red with embarrassment and anger before clicking the phone off.

"Shit." He sighed, looking down at Jeff, "Do we tell him?"

"No." David shook his head decisively, "He doesn't need to know. Pass me the phone."

**To Nick-Star:** _Next time be careful when you press the answer button. I hope it was worth it, dude. _

**(*************)**

"Are you gonna… 'Cause I am." Seb whispered as the only warning he gave Nick. Warm sticky liquid filled his insides. He moaned loudly and came on Seb's bed. He was sweating and bright red.

**(*************)**

When Jeff woke up there was a sandwich, a red apple and a bottle of coke on his table. Along with a note, scrawled in Thad's writing.

_**From now on you eat, or I swear to God I'll kill you myself Jeffrey Sterling. And you're coming to Warblers practice later. Who gives a damn if Nick and Seb will be there? They aren't worth your time. - Thad.**_

Jeff sighed and took a bite of the apple.

**(*************)**

The next day at Warbler practise Nick couldn't help but feel he was being stared at. He was lonely, of course Seb was there - but he still felt empty.

Jeff sat there hunched on a couch, for about half a second before he saw Sebastian lean in to kiss Nick. Then he was off. He couldn't cope with this.

David turned to the newest Warbler couple, coldly. "Could you please keep PDA to a minimum?"

"Could you shut your mouth?" Nick questioned. Lately he had been a dick.

"Nicholas Duval what did you say?" David asked.

Nick kept his cold expression. Thad pushed in saying "Nick, if this is how you behave, you're suspended from being a Warbler. Leave now."

Nick stood up and walked out. No goodbye, no plead. He left to his dorm to think. He was healthier with Seb but he wasn't safe. He for so angry he punched the wall above his bed causing it to crack.

Jeff hesitated, then knocked tentatively on Nick's dorm room door. He knew that Nick was in, he's heard him and he knew Seb was still in Warblers. He still wouldn't tell Nick what was going on… but maybe they could at least be friends again.

Nick opened the door, his harsh expression softened. "What do you want?" he said softly.

"I want…" He paused sadly, "I want us to be friends again Nicky… I know that you," He choked back a sob, "I know that you don't love me any more. But I miss you."

Nick's eyes started to give into his feelings and a small tear escaped his eye. "I….I.."

Jeff nodded sadly, "Okay. Never mind." He turned to walk away but looked over his shoulder, "I- I understand you're mad at me. But don't call me worthless anymore. You have no idea how much that breaks me."

He placed his hand softly on Jeff's sore shoulder. "I'm sorry…. I… I was a dick." He whispered.

Jeff winced sharply away from the touch, "You were. And not just to me." He eyes Nick, nervously, "You need to look at yourself and decide if you like who you are. Because I sure as hell don't right now. But I know the real Nick is in there." He turned to walk away again, "Text me when you find him, okay?"

Nick sobbed, lonely, pulling out his phone.

**To Jeff:**I don't know who I am anymore. I am so sorry

**To Nicky:** _Then look. No one else can do it for you. I was wrong, but I didn't deserve half of what you threw at me_

**To Jeff:** I-I know. I hate myself more than ever, especially after what I did

**To Nicky:** _I don't need to hear about you hating yourself. If you want to fix it then fix it._

**To Jeff:** I ruined everything. I am so sorry.

**To Nicky:** _Talk to Sebastian. Make him tell you the truth. You won't believe it unless you hear it from one of us and I can't say it. I promise you, he is lying._

**To Jeff:** I want to hear it from you... I still... I...fine I will try

**To Nicky:** _If you manage to get him to admit to most of it, I'll tell you the rest._

_**Ten minutes later**_

**To Jeff:** He says he dug into your shoulder... he won't say anymore... I want to know what's going on!

**To Nicky:** _He's still lying. Come around and I'll tell you but... I can't cope with you not believing me Nick. If you come round it's with an open mind. And without him._

**To Jeff:** I understand, I am coming now

(*********)

Jeff sat nervously on his bed, waiting for Nick to arrive. He needed to do this. He needed his best friend back.

Nick knocked quietly on Jeff's door, he could imagine he looked like and emotional wreck. His hair was knotted and his face was pale. He bit nervously at his lip and waited for Jeff to open the door.

Jeff looked Nick over, he looked a mess. But Jeff knew that he didn't look any better. He sighed,

"Sit down Nicky." He gestured to the bed and Nick sat on it, Jeff hovered before nervously sitting far away on his computer chair, he looked down, "Well. What do you want to know?"

"I…Everything." He whispered.

Jeff nodded nervously, "Well… Sebastian hasn't exactly been _nice_ to me for a while now. You _knew_ that," He gave the brunette a measure look, "But the week you were at home recovering and I was here he got … meaner I guess. I don't know of he was just jealous or if he actually just doesn't like me but he kept saying things like-" Jeff's voice cracked, "Like that I was bad for you. And he kept shoulder barging me in the corridors," Nick looked like he was going to say something but Jeff held up a hand, "I'm not done. That day, when I was on my way to yours he stopped me, but I told him I wasn't in the mood so he grabbed my shoulder and he…" Jeff broke off, "Would you like to see that? Would it help you believe me?" He asked a little bitterly.

Nick nodded. When he saw the bruise he knew how wrong he was. "I…" He started shaking. "I messed everything up!" he screamed at himself. He brought his fist down hard to his leg. With as much force as ever. He didn't stop when Jeff tried to make him either.

Jeff sighed as he sat with his T Shirt off, the shoulder was red and swollen with a hand shaped bruise and small finger mark shaped cuts. He also hoped that Nicky hadn't noticed how skinny he'd got, you could see his ribs now. He just hadn't been hungry at all, he sighed irritably when Nicky wouldn't stop hurting himself.

"Look. Do you want to hear the rest or not?"

"I've made you're life terri- Oh my God. Jeff! Why are you so skinny!" He questioned. He slid his arm over to Jeff and he softly touch the blonde's ribcage. "Please tell me…" He whispered.

Jeff sighed, "That comes later. So he was holding my shoulder it hurt. The he told me that you didn't care about me, that you were only dating me out of pity and eventually you'd realise how much of a 'fuck up' I was and date him." Jeff closed his eyes, tears coursing down his cheeks, that was exactly what _had_ happened, "He was saying h-horrible things and h-h-he was hurting me s-so much. I didn't know what to do. It was like I was home again, l-like I'd flashed back and then he s-said that it wasn't a surprise you didn't w-want me, that my own family probably didn't." Jeff was shaking, "And that's when I punched him. I didn't mean to Nicky, I swear I didn't! I just panicked!"

Jeff stopped, not daring to look at Nick for fear he'd call him a liar. He hoped that Nick would forget there was any more to the story but he doubted it. Nick would want to know everything, especially how he'd lost so much weight.

Nick pulled in for a hug, though it was not as comforting as it was before. With all the weight Jeff lost, Nick felt he was a different person. "I screwed up….. I am so sorry Jeffie Bear." Nick cursed under his breath. "How did you lose all that… weight…?" He cried.

Jeff screwed up his eyes and rubbed at them furiously, "I haven't actually been eating properly since the incident with Dad and Jake, and it's just got worse this last week or so. I don't eat a lot because I'm either not hungry or I can't keep it down. Knowing how worthless you thought I was didn't help." Jeff hung his head, "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you what Sebastian said Nicky… I didn't want you to lose a friend just because he… he hated me." He looked up, eyes shining, scared, "You do believe me right? I swear to you, I'm not lying!"

"I…. I believe you.." he cried. "I am so sorry…" Nick stood up. Readying to leave, he knew Jeff wouldn't want to look at him now. "I am a terrible, terrible person." he whispered, shuffling slowly across the room.

"You're not." Jeff cut in softly, "But you need to go and talk things through with Sebastian. You…" He broke off, trying not to cry, "You love him. I'm sure you can talk about it this. He only insulted me after all, it doesn't really matter in the long run."

"I didn't want to be lonely. He called Blaine's name." He said, last thing he said before leaving the room. He was talking about when they had sex, although it was… sexy… Seb called out Blaine's name when he came inside Nick. Perhaps Jeff would ask David what he meant, or perhaps he would brush it off. Nick made his way to Seb's room. Only just remembering he was no longer a Warbler until he could try out for next year.

Jeff sighed and pulled out his phone

**To Nicky:** _I still love you. Talk to Sebastian, apologise to everyone you were horrible to and we';; talk about if you can ever love me again._

**To Jeff:** Would you ever love me again?

**To Nicky:** _I never stopped. Even when you were calling me worthless and telling me that you hated me._

**To Jeff:** I am so sorry... I love you too... but I am so terrible. ¿Alguna vez me perdonas?

**To Nicky:** _Ya tengo, querido corazón 3_

(*****************)

Nick knocked on Sebastian's door.

"Come in!" Seb called. Nick walked silently in the room. "What's u-"

"You don't care about me…" Nick said.

"What?" Sebastian's tone hardened.

"You lied to me so you could try and forget about Blaine. It didn't work when you practically screamed his name when we had se.x" Nick's eyes started to water.

"So you didn't like sex? Well you can stick your dick up Jeff's arse and see how he reacts. He wont love you after what I made you say."

Nick fought back the urge hit his leg and whispered "He does love me!"

"Get the hell out of my room Nicholas!" Seb shouted.

"Sebastian..?"

"Out! Thanks to you, I have a fucking sore dick!"

"Thanks to _you_, I'm not a Warbler anymore… they wont accept me next year, even if I am amazing…" He screamed. His one only passion. The thing he cared most for had dissolved around him as if it were a distant dream. He left the room, slamming the door shut. He walked a bit before collapsing in the hallway.

(**************)

Jeff lay down on his bed, massaging his sore shoulder when his phone beeped,

**Fr Thad:** _Nicky boy managed to get himself suspended from the Warblers. What do you want us to do?_

Jeff sat upright, eyes wide,

**To Thad:** _We talked, at the very least we're going to be friends again. Text him, give him another chance. Please. He needs us don't take this away from him._

He waited nervously until he got a response

**Fr Thad:** _Fine. But he's knowing this is all on you. I don't give a damn until he apologises for being such a douche._

(********************)

Nick heard his phone go off but he couldn't handle anything now. He threw his phone hard against the wall and heard the screen smash.

"_ I don't know why we're so lonely_

_To me it tastes like love, taste like love. And all my hubris is often inspired. And all my friends say I'm gonna sink. And all my brains went to my head. You left me dead upon the kitchen floor. But still I begged for more. And more and more and more and more and more and more and more_  
><em>I can't do anything right. So I sell my soul to the night. To be setting fire with you can't take this anymore. With you I fall through the floors. Without you I'm nothing at all<em>  
><em>These sunsets are a million years old. But they have never looked this beautiful. Cause you were never there"<em>

Nick sung to himself choking on each word. He felt beyond terrible.

(************)

Jeff wandered down the corridor, looking for Nick, when he found him he sighed and knelt down, hugging him hard around the shoulders. He noticed his phone, smashed on the floor near him and tutted sympathetically.

"I talked to Thad. Here." He called the council member off his own cell and pressed it into Nicks hand, "Just talk to him, it's not over yet. I promise."

He heard Thad pick up, _"Hello? Jeff?"_

"Talk to him." Jeff whispered.

"H-hello" he stuttered.

_"What is your problem dude?"_"I-I…. I am so very sorry… I should just resign completely from the Warblers…" Nick shook.

Jeff watched nervously as his friends talked.

_"__Shut up."_ He heard Thad say tiredly, _"Now I don't know what exactly has been going on with you but I know that I'm the one who's been trying to make Jeff eat - unsuccessfully - and they he cried himself to sleep whilst hugging the other day. I want to make one thing very clear. I'm not giving you this second chance because you deserve it. I'm giving it to you because Jeff has been through hell and back this year - don't think I believed that mugging story for a minute - and he asked me to. So you get your ass to Warbler practice tomorrow and you apologise to everyone. And you sort your attitude out. Got it? We miss the real Nick, man…"_

"Got it…" he whispered as Thad hung up.

"I-I want you to eat something, with me, tonight…" he said looking up to Jeff. Only sorrow in his eyes. "P-p-please."

Jeff shifted uncomfortably, "I do eat, Nicky. You really don't have to worry."

Nick nodded. "I feel like the worse person ever. Everything just… I screwed everything up"

"No you haven't." Jeff whispered, "I haven't been eating properly in a while. That's not your fault. And Sebastian lied to you…" Jeff bit his lip as he sat next to Nick, his back leant against the wall, "Why did you believe him over me?"

"I didn't want to believe you would hurt anyone…" He said leaning his head shakily on Jeff's good shoulder.

"I'm sorry that I disappointed you." Jeff sighed, "I'm as bad as my Dad… I just, he scared me. And when he said that my family didn't care it… it hit home I guess."

"You don't disappoint me Jeff. Never." He said before kissing Jeff on the lips. He really missed this.

Jeff kissed back for a second before he pulled away regretfully, "Not yet." He murmured, "Not until you've apologised to everyone. I love you Nicky, and I want to get back on track, but you hurt me and I need a little bit of time. Is that okay?" He squeezed the brunettes hand, "I do still love you. Just wait until you've apologised okay?" Jeff's stomach growled and he hoped Nick hadn't heard it. He didn't want to eat.

Nick nodded and stood up. He held his hand out for Jeff. "You need to eat. We are going to McDonalds. It might taste shit but you need food."

Jeff bit his lip and took Nick's hand with his good one, "I might not be able to keep it down." He warned.

"I will be in the bathroom with you." He whispered as he stopped to pick the remains of his phone up.

Jeff sighed and nodded. Nick drove, they ordered their food and sat down. Jeff picked at his burger, not eating it,

"So how have you been, Nicky?"

"Terrible" he said. Not actually eating any of the fries he just bought. "I…. How have you been? Please eat!"

"Not much better," Jeff sighed, he raised one eyebrow "You're not eating either!"

They were silent for a couple of minutes as Nick watched Jeff eat a little. The blonde suddenly grabbed his phone and handed it to Nick, "I got these."

**Fr Jake:** Shame it wasn't you we hit little brother

**Fr Jake:** We'll get you soon though, don't you worry

**Fr Jake:** We don't want fudge packers in our family. Watch your back faggot.

**Fr Jake:** Whore.

**Fr Jake:** Hi J, it's Devon. Dad said I have to text you and say that I don't want to see you any more but I do. But he says that I can't play football any more if I do so I can't so I'm sorry.

**Fr Jake:** He's not your brother any more. Can't have you infecting the one normal brother I have left now can we?

Nick pushed his tray - and still full packet of chips away. He suddenly wasn't hungry. "I wont let him hurt you. You _know_that. Whether we decide to get back together or not."

Jeff pushed the tray back towards Nicky, "If I have to eat then so do you." He insisted firmly, "It's not so much that… it's just, Devon.."

"He doesn't want to let you go." Nick frowned at the processed food in front of him. "Why don't you try contacting your mother? She could keep Dev safe!"

Jeff frowned, throwing down his food, small appetite gone completely, "Dev is safe, they'd never hurt him. They never have. And I no idea where she is, how the hell am I supposed to contact her?" He was tense, his mom was a touchy subject.

"Jeff… I'm sorry…" He said. "I need to go to the bathroom."

Jeff frowned, but if Nick was going he may as well, he wasn't entirely sure how long he could keep down that food. "Sure, I'll come with."

"I….." Nick hesitated for a moment "Okay."

They walked to the bathroom together and Nick notably saw the Doctor that took Jeff's cast off whisper to his wife and point at the two.

Jeff froze when he saw them, that man scared him. He physically scared him. Suddenly he was running, he was going to throw up.

Jeff pushed past Nick and through the door. Nick shut his eyes tight before walking to him.

"Jeffie?" His voice echoed in the room. "Jeff are you okay?"

Jeff shook his head as his stomach painfully expelled the little he had in it. "I feel like crap, Nicky. I know that I need to eat, it's not like I enjoy being scrawny. But I'm never hungry, and the rare time I do manage to force anything down something happens to terrify me and my me throw it back up again." He leant his hot forehead against the cold toilet bowl, "I'm such a girl."

"Jeff. You aren't a girl… Do you think you might have…" He swallowed the lump in his throat. "Do you think you might have bulimia?" He felt terrible for asking.

Jeff shook his head, his voice was hoarse, "Of course not. I'm not trying to lose weight Nick. If anything I'm trying to gain it. I hate that I'm this skinny."

Nick looked down. "Whenever you don't eat… I wont either" Jeff shot Nick a terrified look. "It will either make you eat or we both won't and you won't be the only insanely skinny person." He whispered. He just didn't want Jeff to feel more lonely then he was.

"Nicky… Nicky, no. I understand what your doing, but it's not like I don't eat out of choice, I don't want you making yourself ill." He leant back against Nick's strong chest. Feeling the slightly older boys arms go around him. They seemed bigger than before, though that was probably just because he was smaller, "I'll try and eat more I promise." He hesitated, "Did you hear what that doctor said to his wife?"

"I'm doing it no matter what you think Jeff." He said. It was going to be hard. It wasn't like he ate a lot, he just ate at every meal. But he was set on doing it. "No I... I didn't." He whispered.

"He said…" Another wave of nausea hit Jeff but his ignored it, leaning more heavily into Nick "He said that he was going to go to the toilet, but that he didn't want to risk it with us in here."

Nick's whole body shivered, and he was certain Jeff could feel it. "Do you want to go…?" He questioned.

Jeff bit his lip, harder than he intended, he tasted blood, "You didn't eat anything…"

"It's okay I can ju-" Nick stopped when he saw a few drops of blood land on the ground.  
>"Jeff… It's going to hurt you, and you're frail as it is. Every little thing you do is going to hurt you, but you need me. I want you to be okay knowing I am going to do the same things you do." He breathed in. "You don't eat, I don't eat. You cut your wrist….. I cut my wrist…"<p>

"I'm not frail!" Jeff protested, suddenly he stopped dead, eyes wide, "How did you…?" He cut off abruptly and struggled to get up, "Come on let's go."

Nick helped Jeff up. It took Jeff a while to stable himself. he looked pail and weak. "Jeff… you need to tell me everything… I love you and I want to be the way you are. I… I wanted to know if you want to move in with me…"

"There's nothing else to tell you," Jeff said, knowing it was lie. He'd cut his wrist once, after he'd got that text from Devon, he'd had no one to turn to and he'd thought it would help. It hadn't. He was ashamed of it and he was hoping the two deepish wounds would heal over and Nick would never have to know, "I… I'd love to but… can your family afford that? I'd pay rent…"

Nick stopped the car. He made sure he was far enough away from Jeff as possible. He opened a small compartment and pulled out a slick metal razor. He breathed in harshly. Before Jeff could stop Nick, the blood started seeping from his fresh new cut. He drew a J in his wrist.

"Stop it!" He cried, grabbing Nick's wrist, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Jeff mustn't have realised, but he pressed hard on Nick's cut. He shot a cry of pain.  
>"I-I am making my point." he whispered.<p>

"But I haven't… I wouldn't…" Jeff had to make Nick believe him, his cuts were so much deeper than that "J" He didn't want Nick to be disappointed in him, "Never do that again okay? _Ever._"

"I can't promise it." He replied. "We should be alright with affording it. You shouldn't need to pay rent… I just want you with me."

"I'm paying rent." Jeff said decisively, "You act like I need to be watched 24/7… so I don't sleep or eat and I cu-" He broke off, eyes wide, hoping that Nick hadn't caught the last part.

"You what? Jeff… I want to be with you forever and I want to look after you." He whispered. He gripped the razor at his side. He was ready for anything.

Jeff bit his lip, lunged for the razor and felt it cut into his fingers as he threw it as far as he could out of the window, then he held his arm out in front of Nick,

"You can pull the sleeve up. I want you to know I've never done this before and I never plan to again. I wanted to see if it helped. It didn't, Nicky. Also remember that you've already done this so we're even."

Nick slid Jeff's shirt sleeve up and flinched at the sight. The he looked at Jeff's fingers. "I don't even know why I had that in my car anymore." He sighed. "Do you want to get anything from your dorm for the weekend? We… we can move you in straight away…"

Jeff shook his head, "I'll borrow your clothes. I know I won't sleep but I just want to go to bed and…" He paused, looking down, "I know that I said I needed time, but will you hold me Nicky. I'm sick of going to bed by myself."

"Of course I will." He replied. They drove back to Dalton. Both washing their cuts. Nick's stinging like hell. They walked to Jeff's bed and Nick tucked him in before getting out of his jeans. He wanted to tell Jeff what he did the last time he was in bed with someone. But he couldn't. Not yet.

Jeff curled into the brunettes chest, he heard the older boy sigh as he ran a tanned over the blonde's protruding bones.

"I-I….." He looked down Jeff's body. "I might end up like this." He whispered.

Jeff swallowed, his tears falling onto Nick's muscled chest. "You won't. I'll make myself eat… for you."

"Please, not if you feel worse after throwing up. I will risk my body for you and only you." He shuddered. He risked it letting Sebastian penetrate it. He shook a little but hoped Jeff didn't notice.

"I do but…"Jeff bit his lip, "Don't tell the other Warblers, Thad'd kill me, but I fainted three times in this last week… I need to sort myself out. It's like my body's just giving up on itself."

"I'm here for you. If he asks what's up with you, I will say i don't know. I will divert his attention. Tell him I am not eating" He said. "If you don't want him bothering you. I will stop eating, not only to try and make you less outsiderish but to distract the others." He wanted Jeff to be happy. And Jeff wasn't just going to start eating. He understood what risk he was putting himself in.

"That's not what I want, Nicky." Jeff sighed unhappily, "I want us both to be healthy. I think you were right, I am just frail. Why am I like this, Nick?"

"Don't worry… I'll be fine. I am doing it to myself. I… I want to do this for both of us." He whispered. He placed a kiss on Jeff's cheek, slowly laying them down to his neck. As long as Jeff didn't go for his spot he was good. He may very well still have a hickey there from Seb. He hoped not. "We have to do everything together now Jeff. I don't want you to feel left out."

Jeff sighed, "You don't need to do that. But I love you." He settled back, he stayed awake all night like usual, but at least he knew that he wasn't alone.

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	19. Chapter 19

**A/N:**

**Hi everyone! See another chapter! I'm doing well :D**

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**WARNINGS: M/M, if you don't like you know where the little cross is to go away :D**

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**Meiko x**

The next day Nick awoke to Jeff already awake. He hadn't made any breakfast but he didn't expect Jeff to. This was the first morning he kept his promise. He opened his eyes to the bright room.

"I have to apologise today." He murmured. Jeff just nodded. He dressed into his uniform and they asked Thad to call a quick morning Warbler meeting. He had to pull a few strings but it was possible.

**(************)**

Nick stood in front of them, each one thinking of snide comments to say to him.  
>"Warblers….friends. I am here before you to apologise for me recent behaviour. I was.. a dick." He shut his eyes tight. "And I can say with the utmost sincerity that I am so sorry. I just… I understand if you don't want me here anymore." Nick walked out of the room. He had to let them vote and talk it over. He stood alone in the corridor, his stomach rumbled. It actually wasn't that bad. He was fine, his stomach just wasn't used to it. Jeff came out.<p>

Jeff smiled gently at Nick's nervous stance, as if he wouldn't have been allowed back in… honestly! Sebastian and Nick had the best voices left in The Warblers and they needed all the help they could get now Blaine had gone.

"You're in. The Council want to speak to you first though, come on."

Jeff held the door open for his boyfriend and followed him in.

Nick walked in shaking a little. When he dropped he gripped hard on Jeff's bony hand. Everyone seemed so happy. "We could never replace you buddy." He heard Flint say.

Jeff stood back and smiled as the other Warblers moved forwards to hug Nick and reassure him that they still loved him. Sebastian skulked near the back, shooting dark looks at Jeff. David moved forwards.

"You _were_a dick." He stated plainly, "But we forgive you. We love you, man. Just don't hurt Jeff like that again okay? He was just sort of… broken."

"David!" Jeff hissed angrily, Nick didn't need to know just how bad he had gotten.

Nick shot a concerned look between the two. "Sorry about… The phone… Did you tell him?" David shook his head and Nick sighed in relief.

Jeff looked at Nick, confused, "Are you okay?" He mouthed silently. Not getting a reply he sighed and went to sit on one of the couches. He was too tired to stand up for long, he'd only got around an hours sleep the night before. He laid his chin on his hands and watched Nick catching up with the Warblers with a fond smile. He hoped that they could get back on track soon, but Jeff couldn't help but still be hurt. He couldn't help have that feeling in the back of his head that Nick really did think he was worthless.

Nick felt slightly better. But Jeff was gone. He glanced around the room and saw Jeff seated on a couch. He didn't want to be without Jeff because of his promise. He did because he felt uneasy when Jeff wasn't around. "You okay?" He asked.

"Fine," Jeff smiled weakly, then yawned. "Just tired." He winced as he saw Thad watching him like a hawk, "You glad to be back?"

Nick nodded. He put a comforting arm over Jeff's body and shuddered a little. He just felt so different. His finger subconsciously drew circles lightly on Jeff's arm.

Jeff leant into Nick's strong embrace and sighed happily, "Do you…" He stuttered over the words, "Do you maybe want to go out for dinner tonight?"

Nick nodded. "Will you," he swallowed the lump in his throat. "Will you actually eat?"

Jeff closed his eyes, he wasn't hungry. If anything he felt more ill than ever today, but he wasn't going to let Nicky get hurt, just because he couldn't eat, "Yeah," He whispered, "I can't promise I'll eat a lot. But yeah…"

Nick nodded. He was going to miss his body but Jeff needed to see how he looked from a different perspective. He needed to see it on someone he loved. Nick actually wasn't that hungry. After being hit by a car his eating did change and he lost a tiny bit if weight.  
>"Where at?" He asked.<p>

Jeff really didn't care, "You pick." He smiled gently, "We can talk things through if you like, as well. Try and get everything sorted?"

Nick had a pretty good idea as to what Jeff meant. "I can't afford anything…" He trailed off.

"I can though," Jeff said, seriously, "Don't start, Nicky. You know that I have more money than I know what to do with. I can buy us dinner."

Nick just didn't like when people paid for him. He felt poor and he didn't like that feeling.  
>"Dad picked up a little bit of work at the can factory for now. He can't be promised the job, he's just filling in. He doesn't actually work there. " Nick whispered. "I just want every thing to be how it was!" He said a little loudly.<p>

Jeff shushed him, casting a nervous glance at the other Warblers, "I know… but at least with my rent they won't have to struggle as much. I offered to pay more than the standard rate… not that they realise that." He stopped at the look Nick was giving him, "It's not for you. It's for them, it's the least I can do after they've looked after me for so many years."

Nick hugged into Jeff's bony body. "You care… so much." He sighed. "I love you Jeff. "

"Of course I care," Jeff smiled, "Anyone would… now! Where are we going for dinner?"

Listening to Jeff's steady heartbeat almost made him fall asleep. He yawned and said, "what about Breadstix?"

"Sounds good." Jeff nudged the sleepy boy off him, "Come on, meetings over and we have lessons to get through."

"What do we have next?" He asked wishing be and Jeff were snuggled in bed.

"Home Ec…" Jeff trailed off, "Get up!"

**(************)**

The day went insanely slowly but before long they were in Jeff's car, Nick behind the wheel. Jeff glared at his cast. "I hate this thing. I finally get the other one off and I get stuck with this." He scowled even more, "You haven't even written anything on this one."

Like his blue cast had been decorated with gold, this purple one had with silver, but with all the stress of Nick being injured himself and the whole Sebastian situation, Nick hadn't had time to write anything on it.

Nick stopped breathing momentarily as if it would help him concentrate. He breathed out and said ,"I'm sorry Jeff. I will write on it when I can. Okay?"

"Yeah, it's fine." Jeff murmured, embarrassed that he was so upset by this, it didn't mean anything. Not really. It just made him feel like Nick had forgotten him, "Did you have a good day?"

Nick snickered. "Yeah, Nick Duval, the only kid hated by every single teacher had a great day" he said sarcastically. "You?"

"They don't hate you, Nicky." Jeff sighed softly, "You're smart, they're just frustrated that you don't try." The blonde bit his lip before answering, he was still upset about this, "I got suspended from French for two weeks."

Nick stopped the car. Lucky they weren't on a proper road right now and there were no other cars. "Why! What did you do?" He asked frantically.

"It's not a big deal." Jeff muttered, "You get suspended all of the time. Can we please just keep driving?"

"Yeah. All the time. What happened Jeff!" Nick started the car up again but waited for Jeff's reply.

Jeff sighed and rubbed at his eyes, he was a straight A student, he'd never been suspended in his life, this was killing him. "I feel asleep in class. And you know what Madam Kleine's like, she woke me up and was bitching about how she was going to call my father and tell him that I wasn't paying attention in class. So I said 'Veuillez faire foutre et de l'esprit de votre propre entreprise, Mme Kleine' …. and, well yeah, you can imagine what happened next."

Nick sighed. "We don't have to go out for dinner. We can get an early sleep if you like. I will help you sleep. " he started driving off.

"No." Jeff murmured, "We didn't have breakfast, and we had different lunch breaks so I'm assuming you ate lunch, but I didn't. We need dinner." He was determined, Nick wasn't going to get ill because of him, "I shouldn't have sworn at her…"

"I didn't eat lunch either." He whispered, he knew Jeff heard him. "You can't just swear at teachers Jeff. Sure I do, but the expect it from me."

"Then we're definitely eating dinner." Jeff stated calmly, "How come you didn't eat? You had no way of knowing that I didn't. And I know I shouldn't have, it just came out. But how come it's okay for you and not for me?"

"To be honest, I just wasn't that hungry Jeff." he said, honesty in his voice. "I don't want you to throw your life away like I have." Nick confessed. He didn't want to be dumb. But the first day he mucked up, ruined his chances of being better.

"She started it…" Jeff sulked as they pulled up at Breadstix.

"Jeff…" He said tiredly. They walked in and to Nicks surprise, it was kind of empty.

"I know, I know…" Jeff sighed as they were ushered to a booth, "But she really _did._"

Nick took his boyfriend by the waist and they sat in a booth. A waitress came to take their order.

Jeff hesitated for half a second before glancing at Nick and ordering a plain cheese pizza and water. He had to do this for Nick.

Nick was relieved he at least order some food. "Could I please have a small bowl of chips and a orange juice" He said. he ignored the look Jeff was giving him.

Jeff looked at Nick, his large eyes filling with tears, "If I have to eat properly then so do you." One of the tears spilled over, "Please, Nicky?"

Nick looked at Jeff. _Fuck_, he was already starting to screw up. "Would you be able to add a salad and sandwich please?"

"Of course sweetie. Won't be too long." She nodded to the two boys and left.

"Sorry, I'm just not that hungry, Jeff." He smiled. He hoped Jeff would take it seriously.

Jeff chewed on his lip and looked down. He didn't believe him. He hadn't eaten anything all day.

"Okay…" He whispered, "Nicky… you've apologised to everyone now and I… Nicky, can we go out again please?"

Nick nodded his head, trying hard to not show his smile. "I would like that very much."

Jeff grinned shyly and leant in, pressing a soft kiss to Nick's lips, "Thank you. I really am sorry that I lied to you."

"I'm so sorry I chose a dickhead like Sebastian over someone as gorgeous and lovely as you. Please forgive me…. I know I wouldn't forgive myself.." He said lowering his head so Jeff couldn't see his expression.

Jeff sighed and covered Nick's hand with his own, "I forgave you the minute you left. I was never mad at you… just lonely." The blonde tightened his grip on his boyfriend's hand, "Besides, if I'd just told you what Sebastian had said to me in the first place, then none of it would have happened. I just…" Jeff broke off, not sure whether he should say it.

"What? Jeff… Please… No more secrets. " Nick begged.

"I just… you and Seb are friends, and I didn't want you to lose that just because of me. He obviously hates me, and I don't know why. But you're going through so much - most of it because of me - and you need your friends around you. And," He looked down blushing, speeding up because he saw that their food was on it's way, "I thought you preferred being around him." He blurted out, just as the waitress reached their table.

That sentence sent Nick over the edge. The food arrived at their table but he just pushed it away. He couldn't even form words.

Jeff pushed it back to him, "If you don't eat. I don't eat. This works both ways, Nicky and you and I both know that I can't stand to lose any more weight."

"I'm... not hungry, sorry." Nick was shaking a little. He picked up one chip and bit into it.

Jeff sighed sadly, trying not to cry, "I know, baby. Me neither."

Silently, he forced himself through half of the pizza. Looking up he saw that Nick had eaten his sandwich, salad and most of his chips, he smiled. Nicky had always been like that ever since they were little, he was never hungry until he started eating, then he was starving. Jeff looked back down at his pizza and bit his lip. He knew he should eat more to match Nick, but his stomach had shrunk and the thought of eating any more made him feel physically sick. He bowed his head and started to cry as he reached for another slice, hoping that Nicky wouldn't notice.

Nick stopped Jeff. He put the pizza back on the plate and said "Lets go, you'll throw up otherwise."

"I'm sorry, Nicky." Jeff sniffed, leaning heavily on his boyfriend, "I really did try."

Nick nodded and help his boyfriend up. "I know Jeffie. I know." He whispered in his ear.

Once back in the car, Jeff perked up slightly, "I… I have something for you. When we get back… Is that okay?"

Nick smiled. "Yes… That's okay." He smiled.

Jeff smiled and bounced a little in his seat - he always got slightly childish when he was excited, "And you'll write on my cast?"

He smiled. "How could I not?" It didn't take them long to get back and Nick was excited. He actually couldn't stop smiling.

Jeff grabbed hold and Nick's hand with his good one and practically ran to his dorm room, pulling Nick along behind him. He pushed him lightly so that he was sitting on the bed, "One minute!" Jeff promised, he gave Nick a swift kiss before he was attacking his closet, giggling infectiously, desperately looking for something.

Nick laughed at the sudden energy Jeff had. What could be so exciting?

"_FOUND IT!"_ Jeff called, happily. He moved over to Nick and suddenly his excited eyes were slightly nervous too, "I found this just before we fought, I was going to give it to you after the movie that night… I hope you like it."

Jeff handed over the small velvet jewellery box and watched, worried and excited as Nick opened it, it was a ring identical to the one Nick had given Jeff and his father had stolen, on the inside he'd had engraved,

"_I'll love you always and forever - your Jeffie."_

Nick hadn't said anything, Jeff was nervous, "If you don't like it or you don't want to wear it that's fine. I just thought… it was your favourite ring, and I knew you missed it, and you gave me a promise ring and I didn't have anything to give you…." He paused, Nick still hadn't looked up from the ring,

Nick's eyes started to fail for him. The first tear coming for the right reason, he was happy. "Jeff.. it. It's beautiful!" He whispered. He slipped the ring on his finger and blushed. It was a perfect fit. "I…It must have cost a fortune… you didn't have to." He cried, smiling.

Jeff shrugged, he was just happy Nick liked it, "It had to be perfect…" He kissed Nick gently, "For you."

"I'm hardly worth it." He whispered to himself, hoping Jeff didn't hear. He pulled Jeff in by his shirt for a passionate kiss.

Jeff's breathing sped up as they made out, he trailed kisses down Nick's neck, punctuating each kiss with a word, "You. Are. Worth. Everything. To me. Nick Duval." He unbuttoned the older boys shirt and suckled gently on the spot about Nick's left nipple.

Nick left out a long stretched out moan. He'd missed this. He'd tried not to miss it much. But that was impossible with the growing tightness in his pants. "Jeff….. that is amazing…" He panted.

Jeff looked up, wide eyed. He was still relatively innocent, he didn't understand how _he_ could provoke such a reaction in someone. He reached down and brushed his fingertips along his boyfriend's growing bulge, eyes widening even further when Nick's hips bucked to the touch.

"Nicky…" He hesitated, "I'm not ready to go all of the way yet. But would you… Do you want me to take care of this for you?"

"N-not…. Not if you don't want to." He breathed. His panting increased. He shook a little more when Jeff played with the zipper on his pants.

"I want to," Jeff breathed, "Is that okay?"

Nick nodded as Jeff unzipped his pants. Freeing the intense tightness.

Jeff's breath caught in his throat, "Nicky, you're so fucking beautiful." He took a gentle hold of the shaft and pumped it tentatively a couple of times, bring it to it's full size. He hesitated, not sure what to do… but then he moved forwards and captured his boyfriends erection in it mouth, testing his own limits and finding a rhythm. It suddenly felt like the most natural thing in the world. He hummed around Nick as the brunette wound his fingers through Jeff's hair.

Nick moaned. He started to sweat and he was sure Jeff could feel the shaking in his hands. He gripped a little tighter and cursed under his breath when Jeff whimpered. He moaned again as Jeff dipped down.

The grip in his hair had become a little painful, but Jeff could barely focus on it. He was to intent on finishing Nick off, the fact he could make the older Warbler make those noises confused him no end, but he loved it. He rocked forward again, his strokes becoming more and more erratic, he could tell that Nicky was close.

"J-J-Jeff…. I-I-I am c-close…." He said. His breathing picked up. Was Jeff going to move?

Jeff vaguely considered stopping but changed his mind, after all _'In for a penny, in for a pound'_ he thought, his deep chuckle sending vibrations through Nick's entire body.

Jeff's laugh sent Nick over the edge and he came in Jeff's mouth. A long and loud moan. He was sure Thad could hear it and he was on the other end of the school. He was shaking violently. "I-I…. sorry." He managed to shake out.

Jeff sat up, wiping his mouth delicately, his hair all over the place, smiling happily, "I'm not." He whispered softly, "That was amazing, Nicky. I love you, so much."

Nick lay back on Jeff's bed. His breathing still harsh. "How.. How did you do that…?" He asked shakily.

"How did I do what?" The blonde asked, sleepily curling into his boyfriends side.

Nick smiled. "You make me weak…" He whispered. He could barely move. He yawned a little and put his arm over Jeff. "One day… I will do it for you… I.. I promise." he said putting his pinkie out.

Jeff nuzzled his way in closer, "You don't need to do that, honey. I'm happy taking care of you." He sighed. "I might actually sleep tonight…"

"I want to _please_ you Jeff… one day…" He whispered. What if Jeff found out what Sebastian had _done._He yawned and his eyes were on verge of closed. He was really tired after…. that.

"Okay, Nicky…" Jeff could feel himself drifting off, "You have to sign my cast tomorrow. You promised…" Jeff didn't hear Nicky's reply. He was already asleep.

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